“A STARTLING COLLECTION OF STORIES FROM THE BEDSIDE.” “Required reading for anyone beginning a career in healthcare — nurses —  Paul Austin, author of Something for the Pain: Compassion and Burnout in the ER and physicians alike.” — Margaret Overton M.D, author of Good in a Crisis Nurses, now more than ever, are the backbone of the healthcare system, the first line in providing the best possible care for all pa- I W tients. Often, nursing demands technical expertise; sometimes, a s as these stories reveal, patients also need something more basic: a hand to n ’ t S hold, or someone to listen closely. Being on the front lines of medicine requires I Wasn’t Strong Like This When I Started Out: t r o empathy, fortitude, knowledge, and grace. The stories collected here reveal n g nurses at all stages of their careers—passionate, terrified, sometimes simply L TRUE STORIES OF BECOMING A i k e exhausted—as they take on one of the most challenging and underappreciated T NUR SE h jobs in the world. is T W R h U e n E “This collection exposes not only the strong, beating heart of nursing, but its brain, S I S muscle, sinew and nerve endings — alive, pulsating, raw, real.” TO ta EDITED BY LEE GUTKIND r FOREWORD BY KAREN WOLK FEINSTEIN R t — Sayantani DasGupta, MD, MPH, e I d co-editor of Stories of Illness and Healing: Women Write Their Bodies E S O u O t F : “Like most physicians, I have a long list of nurses who have mentored me, influenc- B ing my practice of medicine in the way they live their lives and care for their patients. E C This book is a testament to those wise nursing colleagues — and to the paths that O have brought them their wisdom.” M I —  Marion Bishop, MD, PhD, emergency medicine physician and essayist N G A N LEE GUTKIND is founder and editor of the U MEDICAL ESSAYS R literary magazine Creative  Nonfiction and S has written and edited books about baseball, E health care, travel and technology. He is cur- rently Distinguished Writer in Residence at the Consortium for Science, Policy and Outcomes G U and Professor in the Hugh Downs School of TL KE Human Communication, both at Arizona IE N USA $15.95 State University. D I Wasn’t Strong Like This When I Started Out TRUE STORIES OF BECOMING A NURSE Edited by LEE GUTKIND Foreword by KAREN WOLK FEINSTEIN Pittsburgh Copyright © 2013 Creative Nonfiction Foundation. All Rights Reserved. Requests for permission to reproduce material from this work should be sent to: Rights and Permissions In Fact Books C/O Creative Nonfiction Foundation 5501 Walnut Street, Suite 202 Pittsburgh, PA 15232 Cover design by Tristen Knight Text design by Heidi Whitcomb ISBN: 978-1-937163-12-9 Printed in the United States of America CONTENTS Introduction: The Anonymous, Irreplaceable Nurse | 13 Lee Gutkind Foreword: The Art of Meeting Patient Need | 21 Karen Wolk Feinstein Hitting the Bone | 25 A Long Night’s Journey Eddie Lueken into Day | 95 Theresa Brown The Haunting | 35 Don’t Ever Forget Me | 105 Thomas Schwarz Christopher Lance Coleman Becoming a Nurse | 47 Heart Lessons | 113 Laura DeVaney Diane Kraynak Next of Kin | 57 Docking in Togo | 129 Josephine Ensign Jennifer Binger, as told to Ann Swindell Healing Wang Jie’s Bottom | 71 I See You | 143 L. Darby-Zhao Tilda Shalof Zeitgeber | 83 Listening and Denise Elliott Other Lifesaving Measures | 153 Karla Theilen Careening toward Reunion | 167 Individually Identifiable | 229 Nina Gaby Pamela Baker Nurse Nora at Nineteen | 181 Approaching Death | 243 Nora Casper Kimberly A. Condon Four Sticks | 191 The Nurses Whispered | 251 Janice Dvorak Patricia A. Nugent Messiah, Becoming | 259 Not Otherwise Specified | 203 Lori Mulvihill Janet Gool All Alone and Afraid: Becoming a Person through Nursing | 217 Anna Gersman