magazine i 2003 magazine is a student literary publication of i Mount Wachusett Community College, Gardner, Massachusetts Unis one, witn gratitude for Jirinur JlLarleu tor 33 years or inspiration ~ and roads not taAen magazine staff / john beaulieu mitchell collins kevin cronin laurel herget leah jablonski andrew kolodziej jess la fleur rebecca martin ellen mc gahan david rainville eileen torni aaron ufema arthur marley - faculty adviser - michelle valois faculty adviser - darla gambill layout special thanks to don knower - printer cover drawing by eileen torni I'm always on the edge, There's always a doubt, A whisper in my mind. Precious few times I've felt completely happy, But I've never been completely without hope. can always write I To reveal what feel I A fragile lifeline at best, But hey, take what can. I'll I -Timothy Hartigan table of contents timothy hartigan poem fror John beaulieu if you hate me for this, you're stupid 1 nancy young she 3 Christine casella spring 4 Jonathan p. caufield camden 5 eileen torni sixteen minutes 8 david rainville grand canyon 9 gerry garcia tophet 12 leah jablonski in the manner of angels 13 leah jablonski poem 13 mi ran kim bean sprout 14 katherine wool an absinthe drinker's sobrietytest 15 elieen torni lady slipper 18 aaron ufema e pluribus unum 19 berecca anne my prison 25 andrew kolodziej for once then, something 26 stacie tanzella poem 26 david blais the s-train 27 mitchell collins poem 30 jared robinson death threats and pizza sauce 32 John beaulieu beauty 33 eileen torni conquer 34 John beaulieu winter 35 ellen mc gahan another change of season 36 aaron ufema man in the moon 37 John beaulieu late night 42 If you hate me for this you're an idiot A lot of things have happened in the world recently. Some people will tell you that they happened to the world, because we're all in one united community. I disagree with that philosophy completely. Here's the story of an uneventful day had once. I That day was September 11, 2001. If I was just a little cockier I'd advise you to buckle up forthe bumpy ride, but if you ask any girl I've been with they'll tell you an over abundance of cockiness is not a problem have. I September 11 was the second day of the school semester. I had missed the first day when I got lost on the road and ended up somehow at a bookstore. The bookstore was closed. That wasn't a good dayfor me. On the next school day, I made it to school with time to spare. decided to reward myself with a coke and some pretzel I and cheese combos. I actually still have the receipt. I'll never forget where was on that fateful day or the crunchy snack treats I that experienced. went to a secluded corner of the cafeteria to I I indulge myself in my snack and to plug my computer in the school electricity to watch a DVD. A couple of years ago, said I I didn't see DVDs taking over. I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. I spent a more than fair amount of time in my own little world this way. My headphones were on and was alone. What I I watched was a collection of the best of favorite TV sitcoms. At the moment the episode was the one where the guy's inability to choose between two insanely beautiful women who were in love with him led to a comic misunderstanding. love science fiction. I I leaned my chair over and noticed that the tables were a lot more crowded than they were before. People seemed to be very interested in the TV. When the episode ended, decided to join I humanity. They were watching the news. There was a burning building on the screen. Nothing you haven't seen there a million times before on the film at 11. But this was an American building. That made all the difference apparently. We were told that we had been hit in an unchivalrous way and that terrorist elements were suspected. I had one defining thought at that moment. "I really picked the wrong time to start reading a Tom Clancy book." Do you remember a few years back when American planes accidentally dropped bombs onto a Chinese embassy? My personal favorite talk show host joked about how the guidance systems must have been made by the idiots at a certain company he enjoyed making fun of. I guess you can only laugh at death when it isn't happening to you. In a certain way of looking at things that actually makes a lot of sense. Everyone watched the footage until we were herded outside of the building. The outside was a mixture of cell phones and cigarette smoke. I know one of the secrets of non-fiction is to never go to absolutes, but don't think there was anyone there who smoked who I wasn't right then. Even in the open outside air it seemed to cause a small haze. I used my phone to call myfather, who works in a federal building, to see if he was okay. By the way, he was fine and everyone was evacuated. After that I called my sister to tell her dad was okay. My niece who was two at the time said something very meaningful to me. My sister said it was, "Thank God you're okay." But to me it sounded more like "Come home on a choo choo train." She's a brilliant kid, which is precisely why I favor mytranslation over her mother's. finally made my way home. For some reason, expected I I heavy traffic. But there was hardly any. The radio was of course on the news. There was no music. Afterwards music itself came under attack. The forbidden songs were basically anything that mentioned death, explosions, airplanes, knives, religion, gravity, fire, New York, morning, the month of September or Tuesday. But "Rock the Kasbah" was played to death. Go figure. When got home watched the news. My parents arrived home I I and we filled each other in on what we heard and saw. We all watched then. After the shock, there were political leaders talking about how we will overcome the evil as a nation. Religious leaders talked about how we will overcome the heathens. The overall message of the event was celebrating the kind of proud independence and freedom you only have when you're a loyal patriot who's also a humble servant eternally bound to the Lord. This made up for the jokes no one was willing to tell. Personally, I just missed the music. I don't care what anyone else says, it's when you can't laugh or sing that the bad guys win. hooked up my headphones I again. don't speak for any group that any people define themselves I by. wasn't a part of any of that. No one had defeated me. I -John Beaulieu She over hot cocoa she sits speaking with herfriends she is speaking theytalk abouttheirweek laughing at one story she is laughing theyfinish theirdrinks agreeing that it was a good night she is agreeing they pay and leave then decide to talk a walk she is walking theytalk about the past reminiscing about the past she is reminiscing an old friend bumps into them they are happy to see her she is happy it is time to go home they wave goodbye she is waving they each reach their homes and fall asleep smiling she is crying Nancy Young