Chapter Title Here Please 1 I C A N R E A D Y O U L I K E A B O O K how to spot the messages and emotions people are really sending with their body language Gregory Hartley and Maryann Karinch authors of How to Spot a Liar Franklin Lakes, NJ 2 I Can Read You Like a Book Copyright © 2007 by Gregory Hartley and Maryann Karinch All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copy- right Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher, The Career Press. I CAN READ YOU LIKEA BOOK EDITEDAND TYPESETBY GINA TALUCCI Printed in the U.S.A. by Book-mart Press To order this title, please call toll-free 1-800-CAREER-1 (NJ and Canada: 201-848-0310) to order using VISA or MasterCard, or for further information on books from Career Press. The Career Press, Inc., 3 Tice Road, PO Box 687, Franklin Lakes, NJ 07417 www.careerpress.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Hartley, Gregory. I can read you like a book : how to spot the messages and emotions people are really sending with their body language / by Gregory Hartley and Maryann Karinch. p. cm. Includes Index. ISBN-13: 978-156414-941-1 ISBN-10: 1-56414-941-2 1. Body language. 2. Interpersonal communication. 3. Nonverbal communication. I. Karinch, Maryann. II. Title. BF637.N66H38 2007 153.6’9--dc22 2006038158 Chapter Title Here Please 3 D E To my mom and dad, and Betty and Marlin Hartley, D for sacrificing so that I could do and become things they could never imagine. I —Greg C To Jim, Mom, and Karl, for your unwavering support A and energetic love. T —Maryann I O N This page intentionally left blank Chapter Title Here Please 5 A C K N O W Thank you to Jim McCormick for giving me loving sup- port, despite my ridiculous schedule, and for providing keen L insights along the way. As always, I want to thank my mother and brother, Karl, for being ready with encouraging words. E I am also grateful for the enthusiasm and support we have received from the Career Press team, specifically, Ron Fry, D Michael Pye, Kristen Parkes, Laurie Kelly-Pye, Gina Talucci andLinda Rienecker. Also, my dear friends whose good G thinking and professions enable them to offer me practical guidance, especially Patti Mengers and David Kozinski. M Thank you, too, Scott and Eliza Ferzeley, for allowing us to use a picture of your smiling son, Caden, in the book. And E to our talented model, Kurtis Kelly. I also want to acknowl- edge the experts whose research and writings helped N provide deeper understanding of some of the key issues T S 6 I Can Read You Like a Book covered in the book, particularly Candace Gordonand Dr. Louann Brizendine. And thank you, Greg, for being such a fun and enlightening partner! —Maryann Karinch First and foremost, thanks to the volunteers who defend our coun- try in time of war for too little pay and uncertain futures. May we tread carefully when criticizing national policy lest we injure one of these heroes. This book would not exist if not for Michael Dobson, who encouraged me to share my thoughts with you and introduced me to Maryann. This book could not happen without all the support Dina gives me. Jeffrey has changed the way I see the world and myself and for that I am grateful. Rick Croley expands my mind by challenging me to think in new ways about old topics through wonder- ful conversation. Thank you to Jim McCormick for insight, cama- raderie, and support. Maryann, this book has been a pleasure to create thanks to you. —Greg Hartley Contents 7 Introduction: Why You Need This Book 9 C Part I: Body Language Basics Chapter 1: The Steps to Reading Body Language 17 O Chapter 2: Culture: The Big External Influence 37 N Part II: Learn to R.E.A.D. (Review Evaluate Analyze Decide) T Chapter 3: Review From Scalp to Soles: E R in R.E.A.D. 65 Chapter 4: Gesturing, With or Without Intent 115 N Chapter 5: The Holistic View: T E in R.E.A.D. 127 S Chapter 6: Filters: Sex and Other Misconceptions 163 Chapter 7: Making It Personal: A in R.E.A.D. 187 8 I Can Read You Like a Book Part III: Applying the Skill Chapter 8: Politicians, Pundits, and Stars: D in R.E.A.D. 209 Chapter 9: The Man in the Street 231 Chapter 10: Using Body Language to Your Advantage in Business 247 Chapter 11: Using Body Language in Your Personal Life 261 Part IV: Conclusion Chapter 12: Using R.E.A.D. 273 Glossary 277 Index 279 About the Authors 285 Introduction 9 Why You Need This Book I N T R Do you want to: O ƒ Know the early warning signs of rage? D ƒ Elect people who really know what they’re talking about? U ƒ Establish rapport quickly with customers? ƒ Contribute juicy insights to discussions about C your favorite celebrities? T ƒ Recognize love at first sight? ƒ Become the salesperson everyone wants to I talk to? ƒ Be the actor who nails every scene, and O always gets the call back? N 9