The scourge of sex continues to degrade us, undermining the superior moral fibre of which we are capable. It seems one can't leave the house without falling prey to orgy gangs or pornographic film shoots. Rather than admonishing prurient genital tendencies, we make a sport of celebrating them. There is a mistaken belief that sexuality is a natural part of the human condition. This fallacy has plunged us into damp-crotched darkness. This is the story of a superior man unwilling to bend to the will of society's sex addiction. This is a document detailing the lengths some of us will go to avoid sex, and why sometimes it's not as easy as one assumes. Matthew Revert is the author of Basal Ganglia (Lazy Fascist Press), How to Avoid Sex (Copeland Valley/Dark Coast Press), The Tumours Made Me Interesting (LegumeMan Books) and A Million Versions of Right (LegumeMan Books). Revert has had work published in Le Zaporogue, The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade, In Heaven Everything Is Fine: Fiction Inspired by David Lynch, The New Flesh, The Bizarro Starter Kit (Purple) and Gone Lawn Journal among others. In addition to his writing, Revert has gained recognition for his design work for various highly-regarded presses and record labels.