Bunyan, John Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners Die große eBook-Bibliothek der Weltliteratur John Bunyan Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners or A Brief and Faithful Relation of the Exceeding Mercy of God in Christ, to his poor Servant John Bunyan A Preface: or Brief Account of the Publishing of this Work: Written by the Author Thereof, and Dedicated to Those Whom God Hath Counted Him Worthy to Beget to Faith, by His Ministry in the Word. Children, Grace be with you, Amen. I being taken from you in presence, and so tied up, that I cannot perform that duty that from God doth lie upon me, to you- ward, for your further edifying and building up in Faith and Holiness, etc., yet that you may see my Soul hath fatherly care and desire after your spiritual and everlasting welfare; I now once again, as before from the top of Shenir and Hermon, so now from the Lions Dens, and from the Mountains of the Leopards (Song 4. 8), do look yet after you all, greatly longing to see your safe arrival into THE desired haven. I thank God upon every Remembrance of you, and rejoyce even while I stick between the Teeth of the Lions in the Wilderness, at the grace, and mercy, and knowledge of Christ our Saviour, which God hath bestowed upon you, with abundance of Faith and Love. Your hungerings and thirstings also after further acquaintance with the Father, in his Son; your tenderness of Heart, your trembling at sin, your sober and holy deportment also, before both God and men, is great refreshment to me: For you are my glory and joy, (I Thes. 2. 20). I have sent you here enclosed a drop of that honey, that I have taken out of the Carcase of a Lyon (Judg. 14. 5, 6, 7, 8). I have eaten thereof my self also, and am much refreshed thereby. (Temptations when we meet them at first, are as the Lyon that roared upon Sampson; but if we overcome them, the next time we see them, we shall finde a Nest of Honey within them). The Philistians understand me not. It is a Relation of the work of God upon my own Soul, even from the very first, till now; wherein you may perceive my castings down, and raisings up; for he woundeth, and his hands make whole. It is written in the Scripture (Isai. 38. 19), The father to the children shall make known the truth of God. Yea, it was for this reason I lay so long at Sinai (Deut. 4. 10, 11), to see the fire, and the cloud, and the darkness, that I might fear the Lord all the days of my life upon earth, and tell of his wondrous works to my children, Psal. 78. 3, 4, 5. Moses (Numb. 33. I, 2) writ of the Journeyings of the children of Israel, from Egypt to the Land of Canaan; and commanded also, that they did remember their forty years travel in the wilderness. Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldst keep his commandments, or no, Deut. 8. 2, 3. Wherefore this I have endeavoured to do; and not onely so, but to publish it also; that, if God will, others may be put in remembrance of what he hath done for their Souls, by reading his work upon me. It is profitable for Christians to be often calling to mind the very beginnings of Grace with their Souls. It is a night to be much observed to the Lord, for bringing them out from the land of Egypt. This is that night of the Lord to be observed of all the children of Israel in their generations, Exod. 12. 42. My God, saith David, Psal. 42. 6. my soul is cast down within me; but I will remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the Hermonites, from the hill Mizar. He remembred also the Lyon and the Bear, when he went to fight with the Giant of Gath, I Sam. 17. 36, 37. It was Pauls accustomed manner, Acts 22. and that when tried for his life, Acts 24. even to open before his Judges, the manner of his Conversion: He would think of that day and that hour, in the which he first did meet with Grace: for he found it support unto him. When God had brought the children of Israel thorow the Red Sea, far into the wilderness; yet they must turn quite about thither again, to remember the drowning of their enemies there, Num. 14. 25. for though they sang his praise before, yet they soon forgat his works, Psal. 106. 12, 13. In this Discourse of mine, you may see much; much, I say, of the Grace of God towards me: I thank God I can count it much; for it was above my sins, and Satans temptations too. I can remember my fears, and doubts, and sad moneths, with comfort; they are as the head of Goliah in my hand. There was nothing to David like Goliahs sword, even that sword that should have been sheathed in his bowels; for the very sight and remembrance of that, did preach forth Gods Deliverance to him. O the remembrance of my great sins, of my great temptations, and of my great fears of perishing for ever! They bring fresh into my mind the remembrance of my great help, my great support from Heaven, and the great grace that God extended to such a Wretch as I. My dear Children, call to mind the former days, the years of ancient times; remember also your songs in the night, and commune with your own heart, Psal. 77. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Yea, look diligently, and leave no corner therein unsearched, for there is treasure hid, even the treasure of your first and second experience of the grace of God toward you. Remember, I say, the Word that first laid hold upon you; remember your terrours of conscience, and fear of death and hell: remember also your tears and prayers to God; yea, how you sighed under every hedge for mercy. Have you never a Hill Mizar to remember? Have you forgot the Close, the Milk-house, the Stable, the Barn, and the like, where God did visit your Soul? Remember also the Word, the Word, I say, upon which the Lord hath caused you to hope: If you have sinned against light, if you are tempted to blaspheme, if you are down in despair, if you think God fights against you, or if heaven is hid from your eyes; remember 'twas thus with your father, but out of them all the Lord delivered me. I could have enlarged much in this my discourse of my temptations and troubles for sin, as also of the merciful kindness and working of God with my Soul: I could also have stepped into a stile much higher then this in which I have here discoursed, and could have adorned all things more then here I have seemed to do: but I dare not: God did not play in convincing of me; the Devil did not play in tempting of me; neither did I play when I sunk as into a bottomless pit, when the pangs of hell caught hold upon me: wherefore I may not play in my relating of them, but be plain and simple, and lay down the thing as it was: He that liketh it, let him receive it; and he that does not, let him produce a better. Farewel. My dear Children, The Milk and Honey is beyond this Wilderness: God be merciful to you, and grant that you be not slothful to go in to possess the Land. Jo. Bunyan. Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners: or, A Brief Relation of the Exceeding Mercy of God in Christ, to His Poor Servant John Bunyan. 1. In this my relation of the merciful working of God upon my Soul, it will not be amiss, if in the first place, I do, in a few words, give you a hint of my pedegree, and manner of bringing up; that thereby the goodness and bounty of God towards me, may be the more advanced and magnified before the sons of men. 2. For my descent then, it was, as is well known by many, of a low and inconsiderable generation; my fathers house being of that rank that is meanest, and most despised of all the families in the Land. Wherefore I have not here, as others, to boast of Noble blood, or of a High-born state according to the flesh; though all things considered, I magnifie the Heavenly Majesty, for that by this door he brought me into this world, to partake of the Grace and Life that is in Christ by the Gospel. 3. But yet notwithstanding the meanness and inconsiderableness of my Parents, it pleased God to put it into their heart, to put me to School, to learn both to Read and Write; the which I also attained, according to the rate of other poor mens children, though to my shame I confess, I did soon loose that little I learned, even almost utterly, and that long before the Lord did work his gracious work of conversion upon my Soul. 4. As for my own natural life, for the time that I was without God in the world, it was indeed according to the course of this world, and the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Eph. 2. 2, 3. it was my delight to be taken captive by the Devil at his will, 2 Tim. 2. 26. being filled with all unrighteousness; the which did also so strongly work, and put forth itself, both in my heart and life, and that from a childe, that I had but few Equals, (especially considering my years, which were tender, being few) both for cursing, swearing, lying and blaspheming the holy Name of God. 5. Yea, so setled and rooted was I in these things, that they became as a second Nature to me; the which, as I also have with soberness considered since, did so offend the Lord, that even in my childhood he did scare and affright me with fearful dreams, and did terrifie me with dreadful visions. For often, after I had spent this and the other day in sin, I have in my bed been greatly afflicted, while asleep, with the apprehensions of Devils, and wicked spirits, who still, as I then thought, laboured to draw me away with them; of which I could never be rid. rid. 6. Also I should at these years be greatly afflicted and troubled with the thoughts of the day of Judgment, and that both night and day, and should tremble at the thoughts of the fearful torments of Hell-fire; still fearing that it would be my lot to be found at last amongst those Devils and Hellish Fiends, who are there bound down with the chains and bonds of eternal darkness. 7. These things, I say, when I was but a childe, about nine or ten years old, did so distress my Soul, that then in the midst of my many sports and childish vanities, amidst my vain companions, I was often much cast down and afflicted in my mind therewith, yet could I not let go my sins: yea, I was so overcome with despair of Life and Heaven, that then I should often wish, either that there had been no Hell, or that I had been a Devil; supposing they were onely tormentors; that if it must needs be, that I indeed went thither, I might be rather a tormentor, then tormented my self. 8. A while after, these terrible dreams did leave me, which also I soon forgot; for my pleasures did quickly cut off the remembrance of them, as if they had never been: wherefore, with more greediness, according to the strength of Nature, I did still let loose the reins to my lusts, and delighted in all transgression against the Law of God: so that until I came to the state of marriage, I was the very ringleader of all the Youth that kept me company, into all manner of vice and ungodliness. 9. Yea, such prevalency had the lusts and fruits of the flesh, in this poor Soul of mine, that had not a miracle of precious grace prevented, I had not onely perished by the stroke of eternal Justice, but had also laid my self open, even to the stroke of those Laws, which bring some to disgrace and open shame before the face of the world. 10. In these days, the thoughts of Religion was very grievous to me; I could neither endure it my self, nor that any other should; so that when I have but seen some read in those books that concerned Christian piety, it would be as it were a prison to me. Then I said unto God, Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of thy ways, Job. 21. 14, 15. I was now void of all good consideration; Heaven and Hell were both out of sight and minde; and as for Saving and Damning, they were least in my thoughts. O Lord, thou knowest my life, and my ways were not hid from thee. 11. Yet this I well remember, that though I could my self sin with the greatest delight and ease, and also take pleasure in the vileness of my companions; yet even then, if I have at any time seen wicked things by those who professed goodness, it would make my spirit tremble. As once above all the rest, when I was in my heighth of vanity, yet hearing one to swear that was reckoned for a religious man, it had so great a stroke upon my spirit, as it made reckoned for a religious man, it had so great a stroke upon my spirit, as it made my heart to ake. 12. But God did not utterly leave me, but followed me still, not now with convictions, but Judgements, yet such as were mixed with mercy. For once I fell into a crick of the Sea, and hardly escaped drowning: another time I fell out of a Boat into Bedford-River, but mercy yet preserved me alive: Besides, another time being in the field, with one of my companions, it chanced that an Adder passed over the High way, so I having a stick in mine hand, struck her over the back; and having stounded her, I forced open her mouth with my stick, and plucked her sting out with my fingers, by which act had not God been mercifull to me, I might by my desperateness have brought myself to mine end. 13. This also have I taken notice of with thanksgiving; when I was a Souldier, I with others were drawn out to go to such a place to besiege it; but when I was just ready to go, one of the company desired to go in my room, to which, when I had consented he took my place; and coming to the siege, as he stood Sentinel, he was shot into the head with a Musket bullet and died. 14. Here, as I said, were Judgements and Mercy, but neither of them did awaken my soul to Righteousness, wherefore I sinned still, and grew more and more rebellious against God, and careless of mine own Salvation. 15. Presently after this, I changed my condition into a married state, and my mercy was, to light upon a Wife whose Father was counted godly: this Woman and I, though we came together as poor as poor might be, (not having so much houshold-stuff as a Dish or Spoon betwixt us both), yet this she had for her part, The Plain Mans Path-way to Heaven, and The Practice of Piety, which her Father had left her when he died. In these two Books I should sometimes read with her, wherein I also found some things that were somewhat pleasing to me: (but all this while I met with no conviction.) She also would be often telling of me what a godly man her Father was, and how he would reprove and correct Vice, both in his house, and amongst his neighbours; what a strict and holy life he lived in his day, both in word and deed. 16. Wherefore these books, with this relation, though they did not reach my heart to awaken it about my sad and sinful state, yet they did beget within me some desires to Religion: so that, because I knew no better, I fell in very eagerly with the Religion of the times, to wit, to go to Church twice a day, and that too with the foremost, and there should very devoutly both say and sing as others did; yet retaining my wicked life: but withal, I was so overrun with the spirit of superstition, that I adored, and that with great devotion, even all things, (both the High-place, Priest, Clerk, Vestments, Service, and what else) belonging to the Church; counting all things holy that were therein contained; and especially the Priest and Clerk most happy, and without doubt greatly blessed, because they Priest and Clerk most happy, and without doubt greatly blessed, because they were the Servants, as I then thought, of God, and were principal in the holy Temple, to do his work therein. 17. This conceit grew so strong in little time upon my spirit, that had I but seen a Priest, (though never so sordid and debauched in his life) I should find my spirit fall under him, reverence him, and knit unto him; yea, I thought for the love I did bear unto them, (supposing they were the Ministers of God) I could have layn down at their feet, and have been trampled upon by them; their Name, their Garb, and Work, did so intoxicate and bewitch me. 18. After I had been thus for some considerable time, another thought came into my mind, and that was, Whether we were of the Israelites, or no: for finding in the Scriptures that they were once the peculiar People of God, thought I, if I were one of this race, my Soul must needs be happy. Now again I found within me a great longing to be resolved about this question, but could not tell how I should: at last, I asked my father of it, who told me, No, we were not: wherefore then I fell in my spirit, as to the hopes of that, and so remained. 19. But all this while, I was not sensible of the danger and evil of sin; I was kept from considering that sin would damn me, what Religion soever I followed, unless I was found in Christ: nay, I never thought of him, nor whether there was one or no. Thus man, while blind, doth wander, but wearieth himself with vanity: for he knoweth not the way to the City of God, Eccles. 10. 15. 20. But one day, (amongst all the Sermons our Parson made) his subject was, to treat of the Sabbath day, and of the evil of breaking that, either with labour, sports, or otherwise: (now I was, notwithstanding my Religion, one that took much delight in all manner of vice, and especially that was the Day that I did solace my self therewith.) Wherefore I fell in my conscience under his Sermon, thinking and believing that he made that Sermon on purpose to shew me my evil-doing; and at that time I felt what guilt was, though never before, that I can remember; but then I was for the present greatly loaden therewith, and so went home when the Sermon was ended, with a great burden upon my spirit. 21. This, for that instant, did benum the sinews of my best delights, and did imbitter my former pleasures to me: but behold, it lasted not; for before I had well dined, the trouble began to go off my minde, and my heart returned to its old course: but Oh how glad was I, that this trouble was gone from me, and that the fire was put out, that I might sin again without controul! Wherefore, when I had satisfied nature with my food, I shook the Sermon out of my mind, and to my old custom of sports and gaming I returned with great delight. 22. But the same day, as I was in the midst of a game at Cat, and having struck it one blow from the hole; just as I was about to strike it the second time, a voice did suddenly dart from Heaven into my Soul, which said, Wilt thou leave thy sins, and go to Heaven? or have thy sins, and go to Hell? At this I was put to an exceeding maze; wherefore, leaving my Cat upon the ground, I looked up to Heaven, and was as if I had with the eyes of my understanding, seen the Lord Jesus looking down upon me, as being very hotly displeased with me, and as if he did severely threaten me with some grievous punishment for these, and other my ungodly practices. 23. I had no sooner thus conceived in my mind, but suddenly this conclusion was fastned on my spirit (for the former hint did set my sins again before my face) That I had been a great and grievous Sinner, and that it was now too late for me to look after Heaven; for Christ would not forgive me, nor pardon my transgressions. Then I fell to musing upon this also; and while I was thinking on it, and fearing lest it should be so, I felt my heart sink in despair, concluding it was too late; and therefore I resolved in my mind I would go on in sin: for thought I, if the case be thus, my state is surely miserable; miserable if I leave my sins; and but miserable if I follow them: I can but be damned; and if I must be so, I had as good be damned for many sins, as be damned for few. 24. Thus I stood in the midst of my play, before all that then were present; but yet I told them nothing: but, I say, I having made this conclusion, I returned desperately to my sport again; and I well remember, that presently this kind of despair did so possess my Soul, that I was perswaded I could never attain to other comfort then what I should get in sin; for Heaven was gone already, so that on that I must not think: wherefore I found within me a great desire to take my fill of sin, still studdying what sin was set to be committed, that I might taste the sweetness of it; and I made as much haste as I could to fill my belly with its delicates, lest I should die before I had my desire; for that I feared greatly. In these things, I protest before God, I lye not, neither do I feign this sort of speech: these were really, strongly, and with all my heart, my desires; the good Lord, whose mercy is unsearchable, forgive me my transgressions. 25. (And I am very confident, that this temptation of the Devil is more than usual amongst poor creatures then many are aware of, even to overrun their spirits with a scurvie and seared frame of heart, and benumming of conscience: which frame, he stilly and slyly supplyeth with such despair, that though not much guilt attendeth the Soul, yet they continually have a secret conclusion within them, that there is no hopes for them; for they have loved sins, therefor after them the will go, Jer. 2. 25 & 18. 12.) 26. Now therefore I went on in sin with great greediness of mind, still grudging that I could not be so satisfied with it as I would: this did continue with me about a moneth, or more. But one day, as I was standing at a Neighbours