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Finely Tuned: How To Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person or Empath PDF

2015·0.29 MB·english
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Finely Tuned: How to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person or Empath Barrie Davenport Finely Tuned: How to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person or Empath Barrie Davenport Copyright 2015 by Barrie Davenport. All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in any form, in whole or in part (beyond the copying permitted by US Copyright Law, Section 107, "fair use" in teaching or research, Section 108, certain library copying, or in published media by reviewers in limited excerpts), without written permission from the author. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. Disclaimer No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, or transmitted by email without permission in writing from the publisher. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This book is for entertainment purposes only. The views expressed are those of the author alone, and should not be taken as expert instruction or commands. The reader is responsible for his or her own actions. Adherence to all applicable laws and regulations, including international, federal, state, and local governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising, and all other aspects of doing business in the United States, Canada, or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or reader. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of the purchaser or reader of these materials. Any perceived slight of any individual or organization is purely unintentional. Your Free Gift As a way of saying thank you for your purchase, I hope you’ll enjoy 39 Power Habits of Wildly Successful People. These are daily and weekly habits you can incorporate in your life to support your inner work as a highly sensitive person or empath. These habits will improve your health, your relationships, your personal growth, and your career success. Prioritize the habits most important to you, and begin working on them one by one. I hope you enjoy this free book. Download this free report by clicking here. Contents Disclaimer Your Free Gift About Barrie Davenport Introduction Chapter 1: What Is an HSP? Chapter 2: Am I Normal? Chapter 3: The HSP Self-Assessment Chapter 4: Physical Reactions and Traits Chapter 5: The HSP’s Childhood Chapter 6: Depression, Anxiety, and Sensitivity Chapter 7: HSPs and Empaths Chapter 8: The Power of Friendships Chapter 9: HSPs and Love Relationships Chapter 10: HSPs and Empaths at Work Chapter 11: Managing Daily Life as an HSP and Empath References Want to Learn More? Did You Like Finely Tuned? Other Books You Might Enjoy from Barrie Davenport About Barrie Davenport Barrie Davenport is a certified personal coach, thought leader, author, and creator of several online courses on self-confidence, life passion, and habit creation. She is the founder of two top-ranked personal development sites, Live Bold and Bloom.com and BarrieDavenport.com. Her work as a coach, blogger, and author is focused on offering people practical strategies for living happier, more successful, and more mindful lives. She utilizes time-tested, evidence based, action-oriented principles and methods to create real and measurable results for self-improvement. You can learn more about Barrie on her Amazon author page at barriedavenport.com/author. Introduction The finest qualities of our nature, like the bloom on fruits, can be preserved only by the most delicate handling. Yet we do not treat ourselves nor one another thus tenderly. ~ Henry David Thoreau Upheaval and discord were frequent visitors in my house while I was growing up. My parents, who were a mismatch from the start, had frequent and loud arguments fueled by too much alcohol. When they weren’t arguing, there was a simmering tension and unhappiness that settled between them. My older half-siblings were teenagers when I was young, and their teenage angst and drama was exacerbated by our parent’s discord, in addition to having two new sisters (my older sister and me) who now required my parents’ time and attention. Having lost their biological mother to cancer when they were small, my older half- siblings expressed their pain and confusion dramatically in their teen years with door slamming, yelling, and disobedience. As a small and silent witness to this chaos, I learned quickly to remain quiet, compliant, and out of the way. I was exceedingly conscientious and tried hard to please so I wouldn’t trigger any anger or drama. The less I added to the turmoil, the better it would be for everyone—especially for me. Had I possessed a different personality, perhaps this strategy would have worked well. I could have kept quiet and out of the way, and walked away relatively unscathed. Or I could have joined in and allowed my fear and anger an outlet, rather than hiding and repressing my feelings. Fortunately, it wasn’t chaos all the time. There were periods of normalcy and calm, and despite the tension and eruptions, I knew my parents and siblings loved me. But even during these calm times, I remained alert and on edge, scanning the emotional landscape to sense any looming eruptions. The problem for me was that I felt everything so keenly. I could easily read expressions, the nuances of a mood shift, and the energy in the room. I absorbed tension like an emotional sponge, which made me suffer terribly. Recognizing my mother’s deep sadness, even when she appeared happy, I felt responsible for her well-being and wanted to protect her. I instinctively knew when bad things were going to happen, and I was constantly hypervigilant, always waiting for the next shoe to drop. In addition to reacting to subtle energies, I was more sensitive and reactive to loud noise and overstimulation or excitement. Witnessing or hearing arguments and anger was painful and disturbing. If any tension or anger were specifically directed at me, I was quick to change my behavior or apologize in order to regain emotional equilibrium. I got my feelings hurt easily and was thrown off-balance when someone would say something critical or unkind. I did everything in my youthful power to prevent arguments within my family before they erupted or to cut them off when I saw them brewing. Of course this was beyond my capacity, but it didn’t go unnoticed by my family who referred to me as “the little peacemaker.” In fact, I craved peace and a loving, calm environment where everyone just got along—or at least could work out their differences in a less dramatic fashion. Fortunately, I also felt positive emotions quite deeply. I felt intense love for my parents, became strongly attached to my friends, enjoyed hugs and physical affection, and was deeply moved by touching stories, art, or music. Since I responded to the moods and needs of others, I was able to solidify strong friendships, and I instinctively knew how to pull the right groups of people together. Even though I cherished my friendships, I was always the girl at sleepovers to go to bed early and find a quiet place to pull my sleeping bag away from the late-night chatter of my friends. I was the teenager leaving the party well before midnight or pulling away from the crowd to have a quiet conversation with someone. I was the conscientious “goody two shoes,” reminding my friends that we might get in trouble if we played a prank or made a typically stupid teenage decision. I was also the person my friends gravitated toward when they needed advice or comfort. As I grew older and lived on my own, I discovered other interesting sensitivities. When life got too intense, or if I was overstimulated, I needed to withdraw and spend time alone. I was more sensitive than most of my friends to medication, caffeine, crowded and noisy environments, and making major life changes. My intense feelings around conflict, arguing, and violence never abated. On more occasions than I can count, I’ve heard the words, “Don’t be so sensitive” from friends and romantic partners. These words always left me confused and stung, as though I had some character flaw. I assumed everyone felt things as intensely as I did and couldn’t understand the casual reactions others had to situations that left me reeling for days. As I’ve gotten older and understood more about highly sensitive people and empaths, I’ve learned to manage and appreciate my own sensitivities. I’ve learned how to protect myself and design my lifestyle to support these natural personality traits. While I’ve found some sensitivities have gotten less intense over time (getting my feelings hurt so easily, for example), other sensitivities have grown more intense. I can’t tolerate loud and noisy environments for very long. I find the lighting, visual stimulation, and noise in malls extremely unpleasant. I’m even less inclined to tolerate or expose

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