Feminism and Families Thinking Gender Edited by Linda Nicholson Also published in the series FeminismlPostmodernism Postmodern Revisionings of the Po Linda Nicholson litical Anna Yeatman Gender Trouble Judith Butler Moral Dilemmas of Feminism Laurie Shrage Words of Power Andrea Nye Subjection and Subjectivity Diana T. Meyers Femininity and Domination Sandra Bartky Feminist Contentions Seyla Benhabib, Judith Butler, Disciplining Foucault Drucilla Cornell, and Nancy Fraser Jana Sawicki Feminists Read Habermas Beyond Accommodation Johanna Meehan Drucilla Cornell Sacrificial Logics Embattled Eros Allison Weir Steven Seidman Feminist Genealogies, Colonial Erotic Welfare Legacies, Democratic Futures Linda Singer M. Jacqui Alexander and Chandra Materialist Feminism and Talpade Mohanty, editors the Politics of Discourse Rosemary Hennessy An Ethic of Care Mary Jeanne Larrabee Feminist Epistemologies Linda Alcoff and Elizabeth Potter Gender Politics and Post-Commu ntsm Nanette Funk and Magda Mueller Engenderings Naomi Scheman Feminist Theory and the Classics Nancy Rabinowitz and Amy Rich lin Feminism and Families Edited and with an Introduction by Hilde Lindemann Nelson First published 1997 by Routledge Published 2016 by Routledge 2 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OXI4 4RN 711 Third Avenue. New York, NY 10017, USA Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business Copyright © 1997 by Routledge Design: Jack Donner All rights reserved. No part ofthis book may be reprinted or reprod uced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. Notices Practitioners and researchers must always rely on their own experience and knowledge in evaluating and using any information, methods, compounds, or experiments described herein. In using such information or methods they should be mindful of their own safety and the safety of others, including parties for whom they have a professional responsibility. Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Feminism and families / edited and with an introduction by Hilde Lindemann "-1elson. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN-13: 978-0-415-91253-2 (hbk) - ISBN-13: 978-0-415-91254-9 (pbk) L Family. 2. Feminism. 1. Nelson, Hilde Lindemann. HQ734.F374 1996 306.85-dc20 96-28729 crp This book is for Margaret Urban Walker This page intentionally left blank CCoonntteennttss IInnttrroodduuccttiioonn 1 HHiillddee LLiinnddeemmaannnn NNeellssoonn II.. HHIISSTTOORRIIEESS FFaammiilliieess aanndd FFeemmiinniisstt TThheeoorryy:: SSoommee PPaasstt aanndd PPrreesseenntt IIssssuueess 13 SSuussaann MMoolllleerr OOkkiinn TThhee MMyytthh ooff tthhee TTrraaddiittiioonnaall FFaammiillyy 2277 LLiinnddaa NNiicchhoollssoonn ""TThhee FFaammiillyy"" aanndd RRaaddiiccaall FFaammiillyy TThheeoorryy 4433 NNaaoommii ZZaacckk IIII.. TTHHEE BBRREEAAKKDDOOWWNN OOFF TTHHEE FFAAMMIILLYY AArree FFaammiilliieess OOuutt ooff DDaattee?? 5555 MMaarryy MMiiddgglleeyy aanndd JJuuddiitthh HHuugghheess BBaabbyyssttrriikkee!! 6699 LLaauurraa MM.. PPuurrddyy FFeemmiinniissmm bbyy AAnnyy OOtthheerr NNaammee 7766 MMiicchheellee MM.. MMooooddyy--AAddaammss FFlluuiidd FFaammiilliieess:: TThhee RRoollee ooff CChhiillddrreenn iinn CCuussttooddyy AArrrraannggeemmeennttss 9900 EElliissee LL..EE.. RRoobbiinnssoonn,, HHiillddee LLiinnddeemmaannnn NNeellssoonn,, aanndd JJaammeess LLiinnddeemmaannnn NNeellssoonn III. INTIMATE KNOWINGS Privacy, Self-Knowledge, and Pluralistic Communes: lOS An Invitation to the Epistemology of the Family John Hardwig Addiction and Knowledge: Epistemic Disease 116 and the Hegemonic Family Judith Bradford and Crispin Sartwell IV. WHO'S IN, WHO'S OUT? Family Outlaws: Rethinking the Connections between Feminism, 131 Lesbianism, and the Family Cheshire Calhoun Who Takes Care of the Maid's Children? 151 Exploring the Costs of Domestic Service Mary Romero V. FAMILIES AND MEDICINE Child Abuse and Neglect: Cross-Cultural Considerations 173 Fran<,;oise Baylis and Jocelyn Downie Gays, Lesbians, and the Use of Alternate Reproductive Technologies 188 Sidney Callahan VI. IMAGES WE DON'T NEED The Idea of Fatherhood 205 Sara Ruddick Sexuality, the Family, and Nationalism 221 Bat-Ami Bar On The Family Romance: A Fin-de-Siecle Tragedy 235 Diana Tietjens Meyers Contributors 255 Index 259 Introduction Hilde Lindemann Nelson An upsurge of interest in families has appeared recently in the popular highbrow press, much of it neoconservative, but some of it apparently motivated by the Left's growing resistance to libertarian individualism. This renewed interest has been accompanied by a new political and legal focus on families, of which the Family Leave Act, children seeking the court's permission to disown their birthparents, judicial affirmation of the rights of biological parents over children who have been adopted, and the push to rethink no-fault divorce law are only a few instances. A great deal of the attention has been fueled by the suspicion that fam ilies are "breaking down." The Right has been busy reaffirming "family values" and seeing in the divorce rate (now holding steady at just under 50 percent) a threat to the foundation of society. In the psychotherapeutic community, on the other hand, the suspicion has been that the "tradi tional" family is dysfunctional, a view underscored of late by the contro versy surrounding retrieved childhood memories of sexual abuse. The health care system exacts from patients' families increasingly large sacri fices of care and money at the same time as it also is inclined to suspect families of abuse. The U.S. Senate became so concerned over increasing reports of domestic violence that it held hearings on the topic in 1991. A strong subtheme of the history of families-namely, that they are not to be trusted-has once more become a major motif. There seems to be an increasing dissatisfaction with contemporary familial arrangements, a generalized feeling that things ought to change.