BarCharts, Inc.® WORLD’S #1 ACADEMIC OUTLINES BASIC GUIDE TO COMPOSITION INCLUDING PURPOSE | AUDIENCE | CLARITY | UNITY | COHERENCE | PROMPT | FOCUS | THESIS | OUTLINE | DRAFT | CONFERENCE | REVISION | EDITING | MODEL ESSAY UNDERSTAND THE ELEMENTS OF GOOD WRITING Purpose Define a purpose or reason for writing. A clear purpose will help you organize your composition and select relevant information. There are five basic purposes for writing: 1. To describe: Use sensory details to create a mental image of an event, a person, Analyze governmental funding for AIDS research over the past decade. an object, or a setting. Interpret themes in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby. Describe Claude Monet’s lily pond and flower gardens at his home in Giverny. 4. To inform: Use facts and statistics to convey information. Describe architectural styles in St. Augustine, Florida. Tell about Martin Luther posting his 95 theses on the door of the Castle Church Describe the physical appearance and body language of a trial witness. in Wittenberg on October 31, 1517. 2. To entertain: Use sequence, dialogue, and sensory details to tell a fictional or Tell about the stock market crash in 1929. nonfictional story. Tell about an archaeological excavation in Greece. Narrate an autobiographical incident that yielded an important life lesson. 5. To persuade: Use reasons and evidence to convince readers to agree with an Narrate a significant biographical incident in the life of a famous humanitarian. opinion by acting or changing their thinking. Create a story that conveys an important theme about environmental con- Alert citizens to the dangers of urban crime, and persuade them to start neigh- servation. borhood watch programs. 3. To explain: Use steps to tell readers how to complete a process, or use points Convince readers that capital punishment does not serve a social need. and examples to analyze or interpret an issue. Argue that further precautions are necessary in professional sports to avoid Explain how to change the ink in a printer. player concussions. Audience Define the audience for your writing. With a clear audience in mind, you will be able to - Third-person limited: A third-person narrator is a disembodied voice that is choose appropriate language and relevant information. not part of the action of the text and uses third-person pronouns, such as he, his, him, she, her, hers, they, theirs, them, and it. Although this narrator Checklist: Use this series of questions to define and analyze your audience: may convey the words and actions of all characters or people, in limited R Is the audience an individual or a group? Is the group specific or form, this narrator focuses on the behavior of one party. This point of view general? is appropriate when writing to describe, to entertain, and in some cases, R What are the demographic features (age, gender, socioeconomic status, to inform. religion, politics, education, etc.) of the audience? “Buck’s first day on the Dyea beach was like a nightmare. Every hour R What does the audience already know about the topic? What does was filled with shock and surprise. He had been suddenly jerked from the audience need to know about the topic? Does the audience have the heart of civilization and flung into the heart of things primordial. misconceptions about the topic? No lazy, sun-kissed life was this, with nothing to do but loaf and be R What is the relationship between the writer and the audience (e.g., bored. Here was neither peace, nor rest, nor a moment’s safety. All was employer/employee or teacher/student)? confusion and action, and every moment life and limb were in peril.” —Jack London, The Call of the Wild R How is the audience likely to respond to the writing (e.g., with friendliness, - Third-person omniscient: Like the third-person limited point of view, a third- suspicion, or hostility)? person omniscient narrator is a disembodied voice that is not part of the R Is specialized or technical language necessary to discuss the topic? action of the text and uses third-person pronouns, such as he, his, him, she, Should definitions be added for clarity? her, hers, they, theirs, them, and it. This narrator may convey the thoughts, R What do you want the audience to do? How do you want the audience feelings, words, and actions of all characters or people equally. This point to change its thinking? of view is appropriate for all purposes and is preferred for most academic R Should the language be formal or informal? writing tasks. R Where will the audience read the writing (e.g., in the classroom, at a There have been many films about the high school experience. Most critics town meeting, or in a newspaper or journal)? agree, however, that George Lucas’s 1973 film American Graffiti established R Why is the audience reading the piece? the genre. This agreement is not surprising, as the film’s unique approach to period reconstruction, its use of the popular rock’n’roll of the era, and its Point of view: Choose an appropriate point a view from which to convey narrative point of view combine into a telling portrait of the social alternatives information to your audience. available to teenagers in 1962. - First person: A first-person narrator is involved in the action of the text and • Verb tense: Choose an appropriate verb tense to convey information to your uses first-person pronouns, such as I, my, me, mine, we, our, ours, and us. audience and use it consistently. An inconsistent verb tense may confuse your This type of narrator is able to convey only his/her own thoughts, feelings, audience and detract from your message. words, and actions, as well as anything he/she witnesses. This point of view - Past tense: Past-tense verbs refer to actions that took place in the past, such as went, invested, and spoke. This verb tense is appropriate when writing is appropriate when writing to describe or to entertain. about historical topics. “For the most wild, yet most homely narrative which I am about to pen, Monet planted his pond with several varieties of hardy water lilies and I neither expect nor solicit belief. Mad indeed would I be to expect it, in a case surrounded the pond with grasses, poppies, irises, and antique roses. where my very senses reject their own evidence. Yet, mad am I not—and very - Present tense: Present-tense verbs refer to actions that take place in the surely do I not dream. But to-morrow I die, and to-day I would unburthen present, such as go, invest, and speak. This verb tense is appropriate when my soul.” —Edgar Allan Poe, “The Black Cat” writing about current events and issues. - Second person: A second-person point of view makes use of the pronoun Although St. Augustine, Florida, and Williamsburg, Virginia, both represent you, which refers directly to the reader. While it may be appropriate for colonial urban centers, their styles of architecture hint at vastly different some process or procedure writing (to explain), it is not appropriate for cultural histories. most academic tasks. - Literary present tense: When writing about literature or other forms of art, “To be eligible to vote, you must be a U.S. citizen. In most states, you must use present-tense verb forms. be 18 years old to vote, but some states do allow 17 year olds to vote.” — The school dance scene in American Graffiti in which Laurie (Cindy Williams) USA.gov and Steve (Ron Howard) are asked to move apart illustrates this point. 1 Clarity Establish clarity or clearness in writing through word choice We told the children that Aunt Mildred passed “The car aimed ahead its lowered parking lights; and organizational structure. away. (She is dead.) under the hood purred the steady engine.” Word Choice Uncle Filbert was taken away to a correctional —William Stafford, “Traveling through the Dark” facility. (He was taken to jail.) - Simile: Expresses a comparison between two • Action verbs: Action verbs describe experiences in Carolyn thought she could save money by purchas- seemingly unrelated items using the word like or colorful ways, whereas forms of the verb to be (is, ing a pre-owned car. (She purchased a used car.) as in order to help readers understand the are, was, were) tend to be static. • Figurative language: Figurative language represents items in a new way NOT Mario is driving the car to the mall. a concept rather than the literal meaning. The use Joan claims that her new daylily blooms BUT Mario accelerates the car as he pulls onto the shimmer like liquid gold. of figurative language adds voice or personality to freeway and heads toward the mall. A Harley-Davidson motorcycle is as American writing. • Active versus passive voice: In a sentence written as apple pie. in active voice, the subject performs the action of - Metaphor: Expresses a comparison between two • Repetition: Repeat words or phrases only as needed the verb. In a sentence written in passive voice, the seemingly unrelated items without the word like for clarity or emphasis. subject receives the action of the verb. In most aca- or as in order to help readers understand the NOT John knew that Mark understood that the demic writing, the active voice is preferable because items in a new way argument between John and Mark was not what it contributes to clarity. The passive voice is most “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and John wanted. frequently used in scientific writing. women merely players.” —William Shakespeare, BUT John knew Mark understood that their As You Like It argument was not what John wanted. NOT The final exam was passed by half the class. - Extended metaphor: Develops over more than • Technical language: Some language is specific to (passive) one sentence or paragraph a profession or trade and is familiar to those BUT Half the class passed the final exam. (active) • Conciseness: Say what you need to say in as few The economy can be compared to a living, breath- involved in the industry. However, such language ing body, and money is the lifeblood of that body. must be defined for a reading audience that is words as possible. In a healthy body, blood flows freely and unob- outside the industry. NOT Several actors tried out in the auditions for structed to all parts, nourishing them and remov- If the software overrides the default DIP set- the role of Samuel. ing any impurities that might harm the body. tings, the technician must initiate a new program BUT Several actors auditioned for the role of Samuel. In a healthy economy, money also flows freely sequence. NOT Adam called and said he could not come and abundantly to all sectors, nourishing the During pre-press, imported color scans are sepa- over later to have dinner with us. overall system and, in most instances, removing rated into their CMYK components. BUT Adam called. He’s not coming for dinner. the impur ities of poverty and hunger. If blood is Structure • Concreteness: Use specific, rather than vague, obstructed in some way, the result can be disas- language. trous. Strokes, heart attacks, dying limbs, and • Arts analysis: Organize information to explain the elements or style of a literary work or another art NOT The teacher displayed the results outside so on may ensue, ending in time and money- form. her office. consuming health care or, worse, death. What we BUT John’s teacher posted the midterm exam have seen in recent years is the stoppage of money • Cause and effect: Organize information to explain the grades outside her office in Turlington Hall. flow from certain parts of the economy. As a result, causes (reasons for) or effects (results) of an event. • Denotation and connotation: Remember that a the unemployment rate has risen, housing starts • Comparison and contrast: Organize information to word’s denotation refers to its dictionary meaning. have fallen, and, in general, a malaise has drifted explain the significance of points of similarity or A word’s connotation refers to the associations over the nation. The question remains, how will we difference between two or more topics. readers make with it. Pay attention to both denota- treat this serious lack of money flow, and will we • Description: Organize information spatially or tions and connotations when choosing words. be able to treat it in time to save the patient? chronologically to describe sensory details. Fred watched as the bats flew out of the cave. (A - Idiom: Expresses a fixed meaning independent of • Narration: Organize information sequentially bat is “a furry, nocturnal mammal.”) each word’s separate definition; should be avoided to entertain with a fictional or nonfictional The long, dark entryway to the old, abandoned in academic writing unless used in quotations story. house was alive with the squeaking of bats. (The Marcia burned her bridges when she yelled at her • Persuasion or argument: Organize informa- word bat brings to mind associations with fear boss and stomped out of the meeting. tion to convince an audience of a claim through or evil.) John burned rubber when he sped out of the logical reasons and evidence and a response to • Euphemisms: You may substitute acceptable or parking lot. counterclaims. formal words or phrases for language regarded as - Personification: Transfers human qualities to • Problem and solution: Organize information to harsh or coarse. objects or ideas explain a problem and possible solutions. Unity Establish unity, completeness, or harmony by utilizing organizational patterns within Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) and Linklater’s Dazed and Confused sentences and paragraphs. (1993, but set in 1976) present conflicting images of the American high school • Sentence structure within paragraphs: Carefully read the paragraph and the student in the early years of the last quarter of the 20th century. analysis that follows. 1. Each sentence relates to the other sentences. In 1900, during the Great Exposition in Paris, Henry Adams wandered into the 2. Each sentence contains the same grammatical elements. hall of dynamos and stood transfixed before a force he knew would reshape • Parallelism: Carefully read the paragraph and the analysis that follows. the world. This simple act of acknowledgment produced such powerful emo- American society is at an important crossroads in its cultural development. It tions that Adams would be haunted until his death with the paradox of “The must not allow drug abuse to determine its future. It cannot allow violence to Dynamo and the Virgin.” Although Adams could appreciate the knowledge of determine its future. And it should not allow special interest groups to determine physics necessary to construct a dynamo, he could also envision a danger within its future. the dynamo itself: “Before the end, one began to pray to it; inherited instinct 1. The three parallel sentences work together because they build on a common taught the natural expression of man before the silent and infinite force.” The topic—problems in American society—and include similar grammatical dynamo would become the new religion of the 20th century. elements. 1. The writer varies sentence length to hold the reader’s attention. 2. The overall style of the selection stems from the verb progression within the 2. The addition of a quotation from the source text adds legitimacy to the essay. sentences. 3. The last sentence, a simple sentence, adds force and energy to the longer, • Paragraph development within the essay: Carefully read the paragraph and the complex sentences that constitute the body of the paragraph. analysis that follows. 4. By not mentioning the dynamo by name until the end of the second sentence, For Adams, the virgin suggested both the infinite power of such a dynamic the writer effectively increases the tension within the paragraph. force and the religious symbolism of the virgin who is the idealized protector of • Organizational patterns within paragraphs: Carefully read the paragraph and a fallible human race. What would happen if this sacred symbol of fertility, the analysis that follows. power, and humanity were eclipsed by the dynamo? Mary, in her dual role There have been many films about the high school experience. Most critics of human and virgin mother of Jesus, became a link between humanity and a spiritual universe of perfection and “kindness.” agree, however, that George Lucas’s 1973 film American Graffiti established 1. The second paragraph continues the theme established in the first para- the genre. This agreement is not surprising, as the film’s unique approach to period reconstruction, its use of the popular rock’n’roll of the era, and its narrative graph, and it begins the development of the issue of religion as it ties the point of view combine into a telling portrait of the social alternatives available dynamo and the virgin together. to teenagers in 1962. Years later, Amy Heckerling and Richard Linklater have 2. Subsequent paragraphs will continue this theme while developing relevant directed their own versions of the high school rite of passage. Heckerling’s topics. 2 Coherence Establish coherence or the integration of ideas by sequenc- Adults versus teenagers (individual) conversely, yet, nevertheless, despite, although, on the ing information logically and transitioning between thoughts Rules and rites of passage (individual) contrary, on the other hand, different by making relationships clear. Teens and the work world (individual and society) Although St. Augustine, Florida, and Williamsburg, Sequence Patterns Social implications of the film’s production year Virginia, both represent colonial urban centers, • Chronology: Arrange information according to (society) their styles of architecture hint at vastly different time sequence. • Space: Arrange information according to space—for cultural histories. To establish a freshwater aquarium, first choose example, left to right, top to bottom, or front to back. • To provide an example: for example, to illustrate, a location for your tank based on scarce sunlight, In the foreground, curling green vines hang above for instance, in this case, to demonstrate, specifically distance from venting, and proximity to an electri- Monet’s water lilies. For example, Monet surrounded his pond with cal outlet. Second, buy a fish tank that comple- Transition Words & Phrases grasses, poppies, irises, and antique roses. ments the space you have selected and meets • To show cause and effect: because, due to, since, as • To show sequence: previously, before, first, initially, your goals for the types of fish you want to keep. a result, as a consequence, consequently, for this begin, second, immediately, while, during, simultane- • Importance: Arrange information from least to reason, hence, therefore, thus ously, then, when, next, finally, eventually, lastly, most important. In the following example the Many historians think the Great Depression of the after points of comparison and contrast that progresses 1930s was due to the stock market crash in 1929. Establishing a freshwater aquarium begins with from a small to large concept. They may also be • To show comparison and contrast: similarly, in the five simple steps that, when accomplished, will arranged in the reverse order—large to small. same way, likewise, equally, but, however, in contrast, result in a beautiful environment for fish. COMPOSING AN ESSAY Analyze the Prompt, Assignment, or Writing Task & Choose a Focus Whether a writing task presents itself in written form from an instructor or in oral form • Topic to focus: The key to successfully narrowing a topic to a focus for a from an employer, your first job is to define the purpose and the audience. When defining particular essay is movement from the general to the specific. the purpose, look or listen for key words such as description, narration, cause, reason, - For example, a writer may decide to explain the effect of the landscape effect, result, similarity, difference, problem, or solution. These clues will help you define around Monet’s home in Giverny on his artistic style. To do so, the writer the purpose, identify the task, and choose a topic and, later, a structure for writing. will need to choose no more than two or three paintings to analyze in terms • Subject to topic: When you choose a topic, you refine or narrow a subject. of perhaps three to five points of style. Subject: Art (much too broad) - When writing to entertain or to describe, it is important to narrow the scope Topic: Impressionism (too broad) of time. For example, instead of writing about a series of events in a person’s Topic: Claude Monet (still too broad) life, write about one event. Instead of describing a bridge over time, describe Topic: Monet’s art and his garden (sufficiently specific) it at one particular moment. Create a Working Thesis or Claim Construct an Outline Once you have a focus for your essay, you need to cast the focus in the form a working Once you have a working thesis, the next step is to plan your draft. To com- thesis statement or claim for your essay. This statement should include the following ele- plete this step, you may use a combination of free writing and suitable graphic ments: the focus of the essay and the writer’s opinion or insight regarding the focus. At organizers to generate ideas for a traditional outline. It is crucial that you do not this point, the statement is considered working because it may need revision during the draft- skip outlining as you may solve many potential problems at this stage of the ing process. Nonetheless, the remainder of the essay will be organized around this statement. process with ease. Consider the effectiveness of the following examples: • The outline: An outline provides a framework or structure by which Films about American high schools are interesting. (This thesis or claim is too general— you may select and organize the points, evidence, and examples which films? interesting in what way?) for your essay. Consider the following example, which illustrates a Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused and Amy Heckerling’s Fast Times present point-by-point organizational structure. You may also organize a conflicting images of the American high school student. (This thesis or claim makes comparison-and-contrast essay using a subject-by-subject structure, the purpose of explaining differences clear, but it lacks significance. What do these which addresses all the points for one subject and then addresses the two conflicting images tell readers about the genre, about American culture, or same points for the second subject: about something else?) Dazed and Confused and Fast Times are two films about American high school Working Title: A Comparison of Point of comparison and contrast 2: students. (A statement of fact is not a thesis or claim.) Two Teenage Films Rules and rites of passage I am going to prove that Dazed and Confused is a better film than Fast Times. (This Purpose: To compare and contrast Examples from both films statement makes the purpose of explaining differences clear, and it contains the sig- rite-of-passage themes in Fast Times nificance of evaluation—one film is better than the other. However, it should be recast and Dazed and Confused. Point of comparison and contrast 3: from the first-person to the third-person point of view for an academic audience.) Teens and the work world You may use a sentence frame to help you write a working thesis or claim. Note INTRODUCTION Examples from both films Introduction of Thesis that, in some cases, you may construct your thesis or claim using a listing structure, Working Thesis: Fast Times and Point of comparison and contrast 4: or you may make an insightful generalization and list items later within the body of Dazed and Confused present con- Social implications of the production the essay. trasting views of the teenage rite of year • Arts analysis: In “_____,” (title) _____ (artist) uses _____ (element or style) to _____ passage during the last decades of the Examples from both films (do what?). 20th century. CONCLUSION • Cause and effect: The causes of _____ are _____, _____, and _____. The effects of BODY Restatement of thesis, summary of _____ are _____. Point of comparison and contrast 1: main points, and final insight regarding • Comparison and contrast: The similarities (or differences) between _____ and _____ Adults versus teenagers the significance of the study suggest _____. Examples from both films • Description: My dominant impression of _____ is _____. (Note that during the draft- ing process, you may omit a statement of dominant impression and use the details To construct an outline of your own, you may use an outline frame to imply or suggest this impression.) such as this one: • Narration: While narration does not contain a traditional thesis or claim, you I. INTRODUCTION may incorporate a statement that foreshadows or hints at the theme of the work. A. Introduction of Thesis/Claim When I was ten years old, I learned that even people who love you might lie to you, B. Working Thesis/Claim given a particular set of circumstances. II. BODY • Persuasion or argument: Due to _____, people (or another person or group) should A. Background information, if needed _____ (do or think what?). B. Statement of Cause; Effect; Point; or Reason 1 • Problem and solution: The problem with _____ exists because _____. To solve this 1. Supporting Examples or Evidence problem, _____. 3 • The freewrite: You may generate ideas for Draft C. Statement of Cause; Effect; Point; or Reason 2 your outline using a variety of written or verbal 1. Supporting Examples or Evidence Now use your outline as a plan for drafting. Remem- formats. D. Statement of Cause; Effect; Point; or Reason 3 ber, however, that the outline is not a fixed document. 1. Supporting Examples or Evidence - Ask and answer a reporter’s questions: You may decide to make changes as you draft. Do not Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? assume that the first draft will be the final draft. Prudent E. S tatement of Cause; Effect; Point; or Reason 4 , These questions may help when writing to writers allow time to work on several drafts of an essay, if needed inform. but many beginning writers procrastinate until the night 1. Supporting Examples or Evidence - Brainstorming: Writers use free association before the assignment is due. While writing the first F. Statement of Cause; Effect; Point; or Reason 5 , draft, do not revise or edit extensively. The purpose is when they know something about a topic by if needed to get words and ideas onto paper. When the first draft simply listing ideas in no particular order 1. Supporting Examples or Evidence is finished, leave the material alone for a short period of G. Acknowledgement of and Response to and without taking time to censor their ideas. time before working on a second draft. During the time This strategy may be helpful when writing to away from the draft, you may wish to review important Counterclaims or arguments, if needed explain causes and effects or similarities and information, such as notes taken early in the prewriting III. CONCLUSION differences. process. In addition to your outline, you may use the fol- A. Restatement of thesis or claim - Discussion: Writers often generate ideas for lowing notes to assist with the drafting process: B. Summary of Main Points writing by discussing their topics and focuses • Introduction: One or two paragraphs that introduce C. Final Insight with knowledgeable peers, instructors, or the thesis or claim to the reader. The introduction other acquaintances. This strategy is useful ends with the thesis statement, which is generally a • The Graphic Organizer: You may generate for defining one’s ideas and identifying rela- single sentence that states the focus of the essay and ideas for your outline using a variety visual tionships between information. an opinion or insight about the focus. You may use formats. one of the following strategies to narrate or describe - Journaling: Journaling allows a writer to - Cause-and-Effect organizer: List causes in a situation that exemplifies the focus and then one box. Then, follow the arrow to list effects in explore issues related to a topic in a non- transition to the thesis: another box. There may be more than one cause threatening environment. No one will see the - Action: A real or imagined character does some- for a particular effect or more than one effect for journal, and the writer feels free to record thing; use action verbs (e.g., jump, run, or glide). a particular cause. This organizer is useful when thoughts and observations that often lead to - Dialogue or quotation: A real or imagined char- writing to explain causes and effects. a more reasoned and insightful approach to acter says something. - Main idea and details organizer: List a an essay. A writer may also investigate a - Response: A real or imagined character thinks main idea in one box. Then, draw arrows topic through short, timed writing exercises. A about something; use reflective verbs (e.g., think, from the main box to supporting details. This writer should allow 5 to 10 minutes for each ponder, or dream). organizer is useful when writing to inform. freewriting period and should not stop writ- • Body: Several paragraphs that present the writer’s - Plot diagram: Use a plot diagram to plan the ing during that time. Writer’s block is not an points or reasons in support of the thesis or claim. setting, characters, conflict, event sequence, excuse here. If nothing comes to mind about a Each point or reason may be stated in a topic sen- resolution, and theme when writing narration topic, the writer should simply write, “I don’t tence to begin each body paragraph. Then, each to entertain. know what to write.” These strategies may be point or reason should be supported with examples - Sensory details chart: Observe a person, set- helpful when writing to persuade, as they may or evidence. You may include the following types of ting, or event, and record the sights, sounds, help the writer develop a thesis and the reasons examples or evidence in isolation or in combination: smells, textures, and tastes in an organized behind it, as well as help him or her identify - Anecdote: A short story about a real person chart when writing to describe. and respond to counterarguments. - Definition: The meaning of a technical term - Venn diagram: Use these interlocking cir- - Research: Doing research on a topic is the - Description: Sensory details cles to list ideas for comparison and contrast classic way to generate usable material for - Fact or statistic: True and verifiable information; a by recording similarities where the circles an essay. However, research need not be the statistic includes numerical information overlap and differences in the outer circles. formal type of work necessary for a lengthy - Graphic: A chart, diagram, photograph, illustra- This organizer is useful when writing to analytical paper. Research can extend to first- tion, or map explain similarities and differences. hand observation or interviews with people - Quotation: Direct words from a reputable source - Web diagram : List a theme or style ele- who have pertinent knowledge. The key is to • Conclusion: Usually no more than one paragraph ment in the center circle. Then, list relevant or keep adequate and careful notes for later use that includes a restatement of the thesis or claim, supporting ideas or examples in the radiating when composing the essay. This strategy may a summary of the main points, and a final insight circles. This organizer is useful when writing to be helpful for generating supporting evidence that leaves readers thinking beyond the confines of explain an analysis of literature or art. or examples. the essay. Conference Revise Once you have completed your draft, it is a good idea to ask Now make revisions to your draft using ideas NOT The new car can stop on a dime. another knowledgeable person to read the draft and to con- from your conference(s) and the elements of BUT The new car stops precisely. ference with you about needed content revisions. If another good writing as guides. During the revision - Colloquial language is exemplified by person is not available, you may conference with yourself. process, writers become more editorial in their • Self-conference: Compare and contrast the draft with approach, examining large content elements first words and phrases common to spoken, and saving smaller editing issues for later. informal English and characterizes imma- the assignment, task, prompt, or grading rubric. Which criteria have you met successfully? Which criteria need • Purpose: Revise to accomplish the intended ture writing. more development? purpose. NOT I ain’t moving no time soon. - Accomplishment of purpose is key. Have BUT I am not moving anytime soon. • Peer conference: Exchange essays with a peer who is writing to the same assignment or task. Read your you accomplished the purpose (e.g., to NOT I don’t get why parents fight all peer’s essay and compare and contrast it with the describe, to entertain, to explain, to inform, the time. assignment, task, prompt, or grading rubric. Which or to persuade) that you set out to achieve? BUT I do not understand why parents criteria have been successfully met? Which criteria Is the topic well focused? Is the thesis state- fight frequently. need more development? In what ways is your peer’s ment clear? Does the structure of the essay - Doublespeak, a term coined from George essay similar and different from your own? What do match the purpose? Is there anything in the Orwell’s 1984, refers to evasive language you find confusing or illogical? What questions do you essay that detracts from your purpose? and should be avoided in academic writing. have? Provide specific feedback regarding revision. For • Audience: Revise to show an awareness of Flight 743 made uncontrolled terrestrial example, instead of saying that the introduction needs audience. contact. (Flight 743 crashed.) development, suggest a strategy, such as action, and - Relevant details should provide needed The military spokesperson reported that give several possible examples. background information and present your several peacekeepers had been initiated against the enemy. (The military spokes- • Instructor conference: Schedule a time to meet with ideas or argument logically without stating person reported that several bombs had your instructor to discuss your essay. Prepare for the obvious or already known information. been dropped on the enemy.) conference by identifying aspects of the assignment - Language should be appropriately formal - Jargon, which should be avoided, is techni- or grading rubric with which you are struggling. or informal, as well as respectful of poten- cal language used without adequate expla- Use sticky notes to mark the parts of your essay that tial disagreements or counterclaims. nation and directed toward a nontechnical illustrate your concerns. Most importantly, during the • Clarity: Revise for word choice. audience in order to impress them. revision process, follow any advice your instructor - Clichés are phrases that have become stale In order to truly understand orchid cul- gives you. through overuse and should be replaced. ture, one must be familiar with epiphytic, 4 Revise (continued ) saprophytic, and terrestrial forms. (The writer BUT Emily Dickinson is one of the most BUT My father’s success is amazing. He should define epiphytic, saprophytic, and important poets of the 19th century. came from a poor family and had to work terrestrial.) NOT The stewardess will get you a drink. his way through college and law school. - Mixed metaphors combine two or more BUT The flight attendant will get you a drink. - Expletive constructions, such as there or it incompatible comparisons and should be NOT A well-behaved child will not leave her followed by a form of the verb to be, weaken a revised for clarity. toys on the floor. sentence by placing the subject in a subordinate NOT His creativity soars through the clouds BUT Well-behaved children will not leave position. If possible, revise such constructions. but then falls like a soufflé. their toys on the floor. NOT There were three ships that accom- BUT His creativity soars through the sky, NOT The new computer desk is constructed panied Christopher Columbus on his first only to get lost in the clouds. of man-made materials. voyage in 1492. - Pretentious language is used in order to appear BUT The new computer desk is constructed BUT Three ships accompanied Christopher profound but should be avoided in favor of of synthetic materials. Columbus on his first voyage in 1492. clarity. - Slang is unconventional language inappropriate - Sentence combining may create sentence NOT The pater cogently recognizes the for most academic writing. variety or rhythm or may eliminate unneces- inherent scholastic integrity of a daily dose NOT Evan was teed off when he bombed on sary words. of newsy wit. the exam. NOT The sea was blue-gray. It spread out to BUT My father believes that reading a BUT Evan was angry when he failed the exam. the horizon in all directions. The surface was newspaper is an education in itself. • Unity: Revise for sentence structure. glassy and still. - Regional or idiomatic language is language - Commas and pronouns can eliminate BUT The blue-gray sea, glassy and still, specific to a geographic area and is inappropriate wordiness. spread out to the horizon in all directions. for most academic writing. We’re fixing to go to a movie. (The phrase NOT Knowledge is the goal for some • Coherence: Revise to make the relationships fixing to is a Southern regionalism that means students. Career success is the goal for between ideas clear. other students. Wild parties are the goal “getting ready” or “preparing.”) - Transition words and phrases connect one for other students. - Sexist language characterizes women in a sentence to the next or one paragraph to the BUT Knowledge is the goal for some students, negative light or favors male references at the career success for some, and wild parties next by making the relationship between the exclusion of females and should be replaced for others. two ideas clear for readers. For example, is one with gender-neutral language. NOT My father’s success is amazing. My idea a cause and the next idea an effect? Make use of transition words banks to help you add NOT Emily Dickinson is one of the most father came from a poor family and had to important female poets of the 19th century. work his way through college and law school. appropriate transitions to your essay. Edit Lastly, edit your final draft to make corrections in spell- complete sentences correctly using a comma - Parentheses, brackets, and ellipses: If you ing, capitalization, grammar, punctuation, and usage. and conjunction or a semicolon to avoid comma interrupt a sentence to add nonessential informa- Error-free text conveys authority and professionalism splices, sentence fusions, or run-ons. tion, enclose the information in parentheses. If to your readers. (Add Although to avoid a comma splice) Both you add words to a quotation for clarification, • Spelling: Correct errors in spelling. St. Augustine, Florida, and Williamsburg, place the added words in brackets ([…]). If you - Use the spell-check feature in a word processing Virginia, represent colonial urban centers, omit words from a quotation, use an ellipsis (…) program. their styles of architecture hint at vastly dif- to indicate the deleted word(s). - Read the essay backward to focus on individual ferent cultural histories. - Quotation marks: Frame the exact words of a words rather than units of meaning. - Subject-verb agreement: Make sure all verbs source or narrative dialogue in quotation marks - Keep and post near your computer or workstation agree with their subjects in person and number. (“…”). Set block quotations of longer than four a list of commonly misspelled words or words Martin Luther’s decision to post his 95 theses lines on a new line and indent them one inch you tend to misspell. (was, not were, to match decision, not the- from the left margin; do not use quotation marks - Ask a good speller to read and mark your essay. ses), for the Catholic Church, tantamount to around block quotations. - Consult a print or digital dictionary when you are unsure of a word’s spelling. Satan’s fall from grace. • Usage: Double-check for the correct use of homo- • Capitalization: Use capital letters to begin - Verb tense: Check all verbs for consistency in phones, or words that sound the same but have sentences, to begin dialogue or quotations that are tense. different meanings and spellings, such as there complete sentences or to begin proper nouns. Many historians relate the Great Depression (place), their (possession), and they’re (they are) of the 1930s with the stock market crash in • Grammar and punctuation: Correct errors in or its (possession) and it’s (it is). A list of common 1929, but evidence of an industrial slump grammar and punctuation. usage errors follows: (predates, not predated, to match relate) the - Misplaced and dangling modifiers: Make sure - accept/except: Accept is a verb that means “to crash by at least four years. all adjectives and adverbs are clearly linked to receive.” Except is usually a preposition that - Apostrophes: Use an apostrophe to show pos- the words they describe by placing them near means “to exclude.” session (e.g., Nakita’s book) or missing letters each other in a sentence. in a contraction (e.g., can’t). However, note - advice/advise: Advice is a noun that means NOT Susan presented clay to the art stu- that contractions are generally discouraged in “opinion about an action.” Advise is a verb that dents in multicolored boxes. academic writing. means “to offer advice.” BUT Susan presented clay in multicolored - Colons: Use a colon to introduce an example - affect/effect: Affect is a verb that means “to boxes to the art students. - Paragraph breaks: Begin a new paragraph after a complete sentence: influence.” Effect as a verb means “to bring about.” Effect as a noun means “result.” each time you make a change in idea, speaker, Of the many orchids popular in the United time, or place. States, three species constitute 60 percent Jim’s advice will effect certain changes of all sales: Cattleya, Cymbidium, and around here. Morale will be affected. - Pronoun usage: Use subjective, objective, and Paphiopedilum. - all ready/already: All ready means “prepared.” possessive pronouns correctly. When you and (I, a subjective pronoun, not me, - Semicolons: Use a semicolon to join two com- Already means “previous.” an objective pronoun) follow five simples steps plete sentences: The dancers were all ready to perform. for establishing a freshwater aquarium, we will Many orchids are popular in the United States; He had already begun to mow the yard when have a beautiful environment for our fish. three species constitute 60 percent of all sales. I arrived. - Pronoun-antecedent agreement: Make sure - Commas: Use a comma in four basic situations: - allusion/illusion: An allusion is an indirect all pronouns agree with a named antecedent in (1) with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, reference to something. An illusion is a false person and number. or) to form a compound sentence, (2) after an appearance. A multimedia presentation is similar to tradi- introductory clause or phrase, (3) in a series, and - alot/a lot: Alot is a misspelling of a lot, a non- tional business presentations, except that (it, (4) to insert nonessential words into a sentence. standard form of “many” or “much.” not they because multimedia presentation, not traditional business presentations, is the - Dashes: You can use a dash (—) to show a - among/between: Between indicates a one-to- singular antecedent) relies on visuals such as break in thought, give an example, or set off one relationship; among indicates a collective pictures, slides, and films, as well as audio, to nonessential information. relationship augment text-based material. - End marks: Verify that every sentence ends - bad/badly: Bad is an adjective. Badly is an - Sentence structure: Make sure all sentences with a period (statement of information), adverb. have a subject and an action (i.e., a verb) to question mark (direct question), or exclamation She saw a bad movie. avoid fragments. Make sure to combine two mark (interjection or urgency) as appropriate. He acted badly. 5 Edit (continued) - beside/besides: Beside means “at the side of.” Hopefully [incorrect usage], we will finish the follow standard formatting as outlined by the Mod- Besides means “in addition to.” project tomorrow. ern Language Association (MLA). I stood beside John when we were in the princi- Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, “to travel hopeful- - Print your essay using black ink on 8.5” by 11” pal’s office. There were three other students there, ly [correct usage] is a better thing than to arrive.” paper. Staple pages together before submission. besides me. - I could care less: Incorrect form of I couldn’t care less. - Set all margins to one inch. - between you and I: Incorrect form of between you - imply/infer: Imply means “to suggest.” Infer means - Use Times New Roman, or a similar font; double- and me. “to conclude.” space the text, and use 12-point font. - bring/take: Use bring to carry something from a He implied that I needed time off, but I inferred farther place to a nearer place. Use take to carry that he wanted to do the work himself. - Leave one space after end marks. something from a nearer place to a farther place. - irregardless: Incorrect form of regardless. - Indent paragraphs a half inch from left margin. - continual/continuous: Continual means “repeated - lie/lay: Lie means “to recline.” Lay means “to place - Create a header a half inch from the top often.” Continuous means “never stopping.” something.” Many writers are confused by the past of the page and flush with the right margin that - convince/persuade: Convince refers to a change tense of lie, which is the same as the present tense numbers pages sequentially and contains your last of opinion. Persuade refers to a decision to take of lay. name; for example, Smith 3. action. I lay in bed all morning. (past tense of lie) - The heading for the first page of the draft should - disinterested/uninterested: Disinterested means - might of/must of: Incorrect forms of might have follow this format (without the text in brackets) “impartial.” Uninterested means “indifferent.” and must have, respectively. and align with the top and left margins; double- - explicit/implicit: Explicit means “expressed - quote/quotation: Quote is a verb. Quotation is a noun. space between lines: directly.” Implicit means “expressed indirectly or - raise/rise: Raise is a transitive verb that means “to Shelia Smith [your first and last name] suggested.” - farther/further: Farther refers to actual distance. move something upward.” Rise is an intransitive Professor Marquez [your professor’s name] Further refers to abstract distance. verb that means “to move upward.” English 1301 [course name] He walked farther than I did. I raised the curtain. 6 April 2014 [date] I will rise above this problem. She talked further about her problem. - Double-space after the first-page heading. Cen- - real/really: Real is an adjective. Really is an adverb. - fewer/less: Use fewer for things that can be ter title and use a standard font. Capitalize only King Solomon chose the real flowers. counted. Use less for collective nouns. the first and key words in the title. Do not under- Michael really tried to resolve the problem. Fewer people reserved tickets this year because lining, italics, quotation marks, or all capital there is less interest in the theater. - set/sit: Set is a transitive verb meaning “to place.” letters in your title. - ftohrinmgesr./ lLaatttetre:r rFeofermrse tro rtehfee rlsa stt oo ft htwe of itrhsitn gosf. two Sanit uisp aring hintt praonssitiitoivne, vaesr ibn uas ecdh atoir .d escribe being in - After the title, use double-space and begin the first line of the draft. - goes: Incorrect when used as a substitute for says Laura set the glass ornament on the stand. or said. Amanda will sit next to Jim. - Use italics (title of a book), bold-faced type (head- She said [not goes], “We’re getting married.” - use to/suppose to: Nonstandard forms of used to ings), and capital letters (first word in a sentence - good/well: Good is an adjective. Well is an adverb. and supposed to, respectively. and proper nouns) correctly, not for emphasis. Mary is a good dancer. She dances well. • Manuscript form: Before submitting your draft to - Consult an MLA reference guide for assistance - hopefully: Means “with hope” but is often used your intended audience, follow any formatting with in-text citations and a Works Cited page incorrectly to mean “it is hoped.” directions given by your instructor. Otherwise, when you need to cite outside sources. Review a Model Essay This model comparison-and-contrast essay was written for a college-level film studies class. Evaluate the thesis: Is it clear what the significance of this study is? Note the author’s use of a point-by-point structure and comparison-and-contrast transition words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas. Pay attention to whether the author begins each body paragraph with a statement and explanation of a point and then provides an example from each film. Think about the conclusion: Has the author given readers something to think about beyond the scope of this essay? Is it clear how this study helps readers understand the relationship between popular culture and sociology? Dazed and Confused at Ridgemont High: A Comparison of Two Films mall with teenagers going to work. In particular, Damone (Robert Romanus) is trying to scalp There have been many films about the high school experience. Most critics agree, however, tickets to a concert, which is, apparently, his major form of income. While the teens in Dazed that George Lucas’s 1973 film American Graffiti established the genre. This agreement is not and Confused spend time going to parties and planning their next party, teens in Fast Times surprising, as the film’s unique approach to period reconstruction, its use of the popular rock’n’roll spend time at work. of the era, and its narrative point of view combine into a telling portrait of the social alternatives At one point in Dazed and Confused, Mike (Adam Goldberg) remarks, “What everybody available to teenagers in 1962. Years later, Amy Heckerling and Richard Linklater have directed in this car needs is some good ol’ worthwhile visceral experiences.” And they do. Much their own versions of the high school rite of passage. Heckerling’s Fast Times at Ridgemont High of Dazed and Confused is about the visceral experience of high school, drug use, parties, (1982) and Linklater’s Dazed and Confused (1993, but set in 1976) present conflicting images of budding romance, fights, and above all, the visceral experience of bonding among young the American high school student in the early years of the last quarter of the 20th century. people that is missing in Fast Times, as is the relative innocence that radiates from Linklater’s One element that remains fairly constant throughout the various teenage films is the characters. With the exception of Spicoli (Sean Penn), the “surfer dude” pot-smoking teen, adversarial relationship between teens and adults, particularly parents and teachers. The school Heckerling’s characters do not have much fun. They act out a fantasy of adult behavior replete dance scene in American Graffiti in which Laurie (Cindy Williams) and Steve (Ron Howard) with unfulfilling sex, money, and cars, but they do not have the freedom of adulthood, just are asked to move apart illustrates this point. Even though Steve has already graduated, the the responsibilities. When Brad takes Stacy, his sister, to have an abortion, the audience teacher tries to force him to obey what Steve feels are antiquated rules of behavior. Similarly, feels acutely the darkness of their situation. On the other hand, Pink (Dazed and Confused) students in Fast Times at Ridgemont High must deal with the authoritarian personality of ultimately refuses to sign the anti-drug statement and drives off into the sunrise of another day, Mr. Hand (Ray Walston), and the football players in Dazed and Confused, especially Pink laughing. Brad is unhappy because his adult fantasy is just that, a fantasy. Pink experiences the (Jason London), must contend with the coach’s anti-drug campaign. Interestingly, though, reality of being young and relatively free of responsibility. most students in Fast Times seem to acquiesce to Hand’s rather draconian teaching methods. One of the most subtle relationships in Fast Times exists between Mr. Hand and Spicoli. Hand Students in American Graffiti and Dazed and Confused rebel against authority. has always thought that the problem with teenagers stems from their drug use, but apparently, Rules and rites of passage also differ between Dazed and Confused and Fast Times. For Spicoli is one of only a few teens in the film who uses drugs. Later, Spicoli remarks, “All I need instance, much of Linklater’s film centers on the hazing that takes place as the incoming are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.” The importance of Spicoli’s philosophy lies freshmen encounter their senior tormentors. Ironically, what arises from the embarrassing in his attitude rather than his choice of activities. Spicoli acts like a time traveler from Dazed and sometimes extreme hazing is a sense of community among the students that is and Confused who finds himself among teenagers who act more like miniature adults with lacking in Heckerling’s film. Later, as Pink introduces Mitch to his friends at a local bar, it full-size neuroses than teenagers having fun. Perhaps Hand recognizes Spicoli’s “sincerity” becomes evident that Mitch is being accepted into the larger group of high school students. and respects him for it. Such camaraderie does not exist in Fast Times. Instead, Brad (Judge Reinhold) and Stacy It is possible to view Dazed and Confused and Fast Times as sociological representations (Jennifer Jason Leigh) seem more interested in emulating adult pursuits, especially working of their times. Dazed and Confused portrays a rebellious generation—similar to American and earning money. Graffiti—that draws its energy and power from its sense of community. Fast Times at A comparison of the two films’ opening scenes will illustrate the fundamental differences Ridgemont High hints at a generation that has sacrificed its sense of community in order to between the ways the teenagers view the world. Dazed and Confused begins at school with play at being adults. In either case, however, the audience sees the enduring theme of teenagers several students smoking marijuana and, in general, “hanging out.” Fast Times begins in a dealing with their encroaching maturity the best way they know how. U.S. $ 6.95 ISBN-13: 978-142322329-0 Find us on free downloads & ISBN-10: 142322329-2 Facebook hundreds of titles at Customer Hotline # quickstudy.com 1.800.230.9522 NOTE TO STUDENT: This guide is intended for informational purposes only. Due to its condensed format, this guide cannot cover every aspect of the subject; rather, it is intended for use in conjunc- All rights reserved. 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