00a_95988X_ffirs.qxd 9/14/04 9:46 PM Page v the emotionally intelligent nurse leader Mae Taylor Moss 00a_95988X_ffirs.qxd 9/14/04 9:46 PM Page i 00a_95988X_ffirs.qxd 9/14/04 9:46 PM Page ii 00a_95988X_ffirs.qxd 9/14/04 9:46 PM Page iii the emotionally intelligent nurse leader 00a_95988X_ffirs.qxd 9/14/04 9:46 PM Page iv 00a_95988X_ffirs.qxd 9/14/04 9:46 PM Page v the emotionally intelligent nurse leader Mae Taylor Moss 00a_95988X_ffirs.qxd 9/14/04 9:46 PM Page vi Copyright © 2005 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. 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To contact Jossey- Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, out- side the U.S. at 317-572-3986 or fax 317-572-4002. Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. Readers should be aware that Internet Web sites used within may have changed or disap- peared between when the book was written and when it is read. Copyright ©2002, Multi-Health Systems, Inc. All rights reserved. In the USA, P.O. Box 950, North Tonawanda, NY 14120-0950, 1-800-456-3003. In Canada, 3770 Victoria Park Ave., Toronto, ON M2H 3M6, 1-800-268-6011. Internationally, +1-416-492-2627, Fax, +1-416-492-2243. Reproduced with permission. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Moss, Mae Taylor. The emotionally intelligent nurse leader / Mae Taylor Moss.—1st ed. p.; cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0–7879–5988–X (alk. paper) 1. Nursing services—Administration. 2. Leadership. 3. Emotional intelligence. 4. Nurses—Psychology. 5. Nurse and patient. I. Title. [DNLM: 1. Nursing, Supervisory. 2. Emotions. 3. Leadership. 4. Nursing Staff—psychology. 5. Patients—psychology. WY 105 M913e 2005] RT89.M635 2005 362.17'3'068—dc22 2004014530 Printed in the United States of America FIRSTEDITION PB Printing 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 00b_95988X_ftoc.qxd 9/14/04 9:47 PM Page vii contents Preface ix About the Author xi Introduction xiii PART ONE Understanding Emotional Intelligence 1. An Age-Old, New Kind of Nursing Intelligence 3 2. Emotions in a Techno-Illogical Age 20 3. Emotional Intelligence and Leadership 42 PART TWO Intelligently Creating, Sharing a Vision, and Setting an Example 4. Leaders Who Create 69 5. Leaders Who Share a Vision 93 6. Leaders Who Set an Example 119 PART THREE Intelligent Transfer of Information 7. Downloading: Honing Emotional Intelligence 141 8. Uploading: Coaching Emotional Intelligence 163 9. Weathering a Crash: Conflict Resolution in the Health Care Environment 184 vii 00b_95988X_ftoc.qxd 9/14/04 9:47 PM Page viii viii contents PART FOUR Changing the Culture of Nursing and the Organization 10. Shaping the Work Environment and Culture 215 11. Rebuilding and Upending the Hierarchical Pyramid 238 12. The Future of Emotional Intelligence for Nursing Leadership 262 References 279 Name Index 299 Subject Index 307 00c_95988X_fpref.qxd 9/14/04 9:44 PM Page ix preface “KNOW THYSELF” and “To thine own self be true,” aphorisms taken from classic literary works and passed down through many generations as standard wisdom, remain popular even today. Centuries ago, when Socrates and Shakespeare penned those now-immortal words, they prob- ably did not know that they were glimpsing a broader, more exact science—that of emotional intelligence. Today, emotional intelligence has blossomed from studies in social behavior to a measurable, predictable pattern of thought and action that influences decision making and success in relationships. References to feelings, emotions, and interpersonal skills abound in management literature, pointing out the relevance of emotional aptitude in our day. The ability to know and understand oneself, as well as to practice integrity in handling one’s emotions, is fundamental to emo- tional expertise. So relevant is emotional intelligence to leadership that multiple books have been written on the topic. However, nursing leadership presents a special situation: a field in which emotions are inherent in frontline work, leading to a decision structure in which conflicts and ethical dilemmas occur almost daily, and a rapid technological boom and increased finan- cial emphasis that have stripped away the time allowed for pleasant, leisurely conversations. This book was written to equip the nurse leader with emotional prin- ciples for leadership in the twenty-first century. Nurse leaders are respon- sible not only for patient outcomes but also for the success of those under their leadership. Because nurse leaders lead staff members who deal with the emotional issues of patient care, they also deal with the end result of all of these emotional issues: stress, the need to reflect, the need to be val- ued, and the need to grow emotionally. In the midst of this leadership challenge, nurse leaders themselves need to grow emotionally, supporting themselves and those around them in healthy, constructive ways. Over the years, my experience as a staff nurse, educator, leader, and administrator have presented me with specific challenges, all of which pre- sented profoundly emotional themes. There is no doubt that nursing is one of the most emotionally charged professions of our day or that it will ix