ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page vii Emotional Intelligence in Action Training and Coaching Activities for Leaders and Managers MARCIA HUGHES L. BONITA PATTERSON JAMES BRADFORD TERRELL ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page iv ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page i More Praise for Emotional Intelligence in Action “Creating the metrics necessary to measure emotional intelligence was a daunting task. But teaching others how to change their behavior is an altogether different challenge. This book is an able teacher for the serious learners and leaders of the field.” —Esther M. Orioli, author, Essi Systems’EQ Map” “Emotional Intelligence in Actionis an important contribution to the field of applied emotional intelligence, particularly for its contribution in help- ing individuals improve their skills so that they can unlock their poten- tial and live at a level more commensurate with their true capability.” —Rich Handley, coauthor, EQ 360™ and Benchmark of Organizational Emotional Intelligence “The authors provide a suite of well-designed tools for increasing emo- tional intelligence and then invite practitioners to apply these to respond to individual development needs. This is a needed addition to the field of emotional intelligence. The gift that these practitioners have given is they have helped to make EQ development a faster and more efficient process for both coaches and clients. Advanced practitioners will find these tools useful for sharpening their practice.” —Geetu Bharwaney, founder and managing director, Ei World “Emotional Intelligence in Actionis a very practical tool organizations can use to help employees anticipate, understand, and accept change and thrive in a fast-moving business environment.” —Tad Deering, Sr., director of strategic change, Time Warner Telecom “Emotional Intelligence in Actionis a must read for anyone serious about improving personal and professional relationships, while gaining greater self-knowledge.” —Richie Fontenot Hunter, vice president of marketing, Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield, West Region ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page ii “Apioneering book for a cutting edge field! The authors have pulled together thoughtful and useful tactics and strategies for trainers and con- sultants that will enable audiences to understand and act on EQ con- cepts. The cross references with numerous resources enables the reader to quickly identify additional material for workshop use.” —Roger R. Pearman, president, Qualifying.org, Inc. “Emotional Intelligence in Actiondelivers whether you are an EI newcomer or a seasoned professional with its refreshing ‘workouts’ and totally engaging approach. EIApasses my test; it is both fun to read and easy to implement. Hughes, Patterson, and Terrell make a significant contribu- tion to EI and more importantly, will help you make a significant contri- bution to your organization.” —Scott Cawood, SPHR, vice president, Global Talent Management, Revlon; founder, Modern Think “Emotional Intelligence in Actionis a valuable resource that is loaded with exercises and experiential learning scenarios (‘workouts’) that all of us can profit from as we seek to understand more clearly what moves us and motivates us. More accurate, realistic information, in turn, allows us to reason with emotions and emotional signals. The ability to do that serves as a valuable foundation for creating real change.” —Wayne Cascio, US Bank Term Professor of Management, University of Colorado “In all the training and developmental work I have done lately, I have seen repeatedly the importance of interactive experiences. To have tools to help people learn by experience is so valuable and clearly, the best way to promote learning. I am excited to have this excellent handbook to help individuals and teams strengthen their emotional intelligence. ‘Hands On’ is the best!” —Kathy Yeager, SPHR, vice president, human resources, The Medical Center of Aurora ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page iii About This Book Why is this topic important? Exploring and developing emotional intelligence not only makes us happier and more suc- cessful, but it helps us motivate ourselves, manage stress more effectively, and resolve conflict with others. It gives us the skills to be able to encourage, comfort, discipline, and confront dif- ferent kinds of people appropriately in different situations. It determines how effectively we express our emotions within the cultural contexts of our family, our workplace, and our com- munity. It determines how well people listen to us and how well we are heard. What can you achieve with this book? As an easy-to-use informational reference to the key components of emotional intelligence, this book is unsurpassed. The forty-six cross-referenced exercises serve as an invaluable resource for trainers, coaches, facilitators, HR professionals, managers, and anyone who needs to build emotional intelligence competencies in their work with individuals, teams, or groups. Several books are available that discuss this topic, but very few provide exercises and learning scenarios to help build emotional intelligence skills. This book breaks new ground in providing a cross-reference matrix that maps the exercises to the four leading emotional intelligence models—the EQ-i® or EQ-360™, ECI 360, the MSCEIT™, and EQ Map®—making it easy to use with all the models. How is this book organized? This book is organized into three parts. Part One provides an overview of using emotional intelligence to create real change. It includes sections on why emotional intelligence is impor- tant and how to best use this book. It also contains the cross-reference table that maps the exercises to the four leading emotional intelligence models. Last, it discusses the integral con- nection between thinking and emotions. Part Two gives a synopsis of fifteen components of emotional intelligence. Part Three features forty-six exercises to help build effective emotional skills. Each exercise includes a purpose statement, summary, description of the outcome/ desired results, estimated time, intended audience, skill level needed by facilitator, step-by- step instructions, and reproducible handout sheets for participants. ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page iv ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page v About Pfeiffer Pfeiffer serves the professional development and hands-on resource needs of training and human resource practitioners and gives them products to do their jobs better. We deliver proven ideas and solutions from experts in HR development and HR management, and we offer effective and customizable tools to improve workplace performance. From novice to seasoned professional, Pfeiffer is the source you can trust to make yourself and your organ- ization more successful. Essential Knowledge Pfeiffer produces insightful, practical, andcomprehensive materials on topics that matter the most to trainingand HR professionals. Our Essen- tial Knowledge resources translate the expertiseof seasoned professionals into practical, how- to guidance on critical workplace issues and problems. These resources are supported by case studies, worksheets, and job aids and are frequently supplemented with CD-ROMs, websites, and other means of making the content easier to read, understand, and use. Essential Tools Pfeiffer’s Essential Tools resources save time and expense by offering proven, ready-to-use materials—including exercises, activities, games, instru- ments, and assessments—for use during a training orteam-learning event. These resources are frequently offered in looseleaf or CD-ROM format to facilitate copying and customization of the material. Pfeiffer also recognizes the remarkable power of new technologies in expanding the reach and effectiveness of training. While e-hype has often created whizbang solutions in search of a problem, we are dedicated to bringingconvenience and enhancements to proven training solutions. All our e-tools comply with rigorous functionality standards. The most appropriate technology wrapped around essential content yields the perfect solution for today’s on-the-go trainers and human resource professionals. Essential resources for training and HR professionals www.pfeiffer.com ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page vi This book is dedicated to all those who help others enhance the quality of life by developing deeper, more profound business and personal relationships. Their actions, which add richness, strength, and meaning to life, resonate throughout the world and transform our lives. ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page vii Emotional Intelligence in Action Training and Coaching Activities for Leaders and Managers MARCIA HUGHES L. BONITA PATTERSON JAMES BRADFORD TERRELL ffirs.qxd 7/14/05 11:38 PM Page viii Copyright © 2005 by Marcia Hughes, L. Bonita Patterson, and James Bradford Terrell. Published by Pfeiffer An Imprint of Wiley. 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA94103-1741 www.pfeiffer.com Readers should be aware that Internet websites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read. 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Certain pages from this book and all the materials on the accompanying CD-ROM are designed for use in a group setting and may be customized and reproduced for educational/training purposes. The reproducible pages are des- ignated by the appearance of the following copyright notice at the foot of each page: Emotional Intellligence in Action. Copyright © 2005 by Marcia Hughes, L. Bonita Patterson, and James Bradford Terrell. Reproduced by permission of Pfeiffer, an Imprint of Wiley. www.pfeiffer.com This notice may not be changed or deleted and it must appear on all reproductions as printed. This free permission is restricted to limited customization of the CD-ROM materials for your organization and the paper reproduction of the materials for educational/training events. It does not allow for systematic or large-scale reproduction, distribution (more than 100 copies per page, per year), transmission, electronic reproduction or inclu- sion in any publications offered for sale or used for commercial purposes—none of which may be done without prior written permission of the Publisher. For additional copies/bulk purchases of this book in the U.S. please contact 800-274-4434. Pfeiffer books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Pfeiffer directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-274-4434, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3985, fax 317-572-4002, or visit www.pfeif- fer.com. Pfeiffer also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be avail- able in electronic books. ISBN: 0-7879-7843-4 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Hughes, Marcia M. Emotional intelligence in action: training and coaching activities for leaders and managers/ Marcia M. Hughes, L. Bonita Patterson, James Bradford Terrell. p. cm. Accompanied by a CD-ROM. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-7879-7843-4 (alk. paper) 1. Executives—Training of—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 2. Leadership—Study and teaching—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 3. Executive coaching—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 4. Counselors—Training of—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 5. Group facilitation—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 6. Personnel departments—Employees—Training of—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 7. Emotional intelligence—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 8. Active learning—Handbooks, manuals, etc. I. Patterson, L. Bonita II. Terrell, James Bradford III. Title. HD30.4.H824 2005 658.4’071245—dc22 2005004205 Acquiring Editor: Martin Delahoussaye Editor: Rebecca Taff Director of Development: Kathleen Dolan Davies Manufacturing Supervisor: Becky Carreno Developmental Editor: Susan Rachmeler Editorial Assistant: Laura Reizman Production Editor: Dawn Kilgore Printed in the United States of America Printing 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1