Emotional Healing & Self-Esteem Inner-life skills of relaxation, visualisation and meditation for children and adolescents Mark Pearson First published 1998 by The Australian Council for Educational Research Ltd 19 Prospect Hill Road, Camberwell, Melbourne, Victoria, 3124 Copyright © 1998 Australian Council for Educational Research All rights reserved. Except under the conditions described in the Copyright Act 1968 of Australia and subsequent amendments, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or trans- mitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publishers. Edited by Brigid James of Writers Reign Designed by Noni Edmunds Cover designed by Ben Forster Cover illustration by Tess Pearson Printed by Australian Print Group National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication data: Pearson, Mark. Emotional healing and self-esteem : inner-life skills of relaxation, visualisation and meditation for children and adolescents. Bibliography. Includes index. ISBN 0 86431 264 4. 1. Child mental health. 2. Teenagers - Mental health. 3. Emotions in children. 4. Emotions in adolescence. 5. Meditation. 6. Visualization. I. Australian Council for Educational Research. II. Title. 152.4083 Acknowledgements A special thanks to the seven contributors who shared ideas and exercises. To my partner, Helen Wilson, for careful editing and helpful suggestions. To Rosemary Pearson for editorial suggestions. To Ahrara Carisbrooke, who was instrumental in my personal growth and in the creation of the Emotional Release training courses. To Patricia Nolan, co-author on previ- ous books, for encouraging feedback, and regular support through sharing case stories. Using this book Presenters should always refer to Chapter Three, ‘A Practical Guide for Presenters’ before embarking on the exercises. The ideal way to prepare to use this work is for presenters to gather with a few friends or colleagues and explore the exercises together. The exchange of insights, interpretations, results and difficulties offers the best opportu- nity of expanded understanding. This provides more clarity on how to intro- duce the inner-life skills and program their progression for particular groups. A few exercises have been adapted from material in Emotional Release for Children by Mark Pearson and Patricia Nolan (ACER 1995). The author Mark Pearson has worked as a primary school teacher in western Sydney. He has also run a remedial reading clinic and worked briefly with handi- capped children. He is experienced with many types of meditation, and has worked as a meditation and relaxation instructor. He has been a trainer in ERC for over twelve years. He developed and directed training courses and personal development workshops at The Portiuncula Centre, Toowoomba for eight years. He currently conducts courses for ACER in Melbourne and, with partner, Helen Wilson, for Turnaround Personal and Professional Development Programs in Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne, and around Queensland. He also travels around Australia presenting inservice pro- grams for various agencies and government departments. Mark is currently completing further studies in Transpersonal Psychology with Stanslav Grof. He is the author of the first Australian book on Transpersonal Breathwork: From Healing to Awakening (1991) and has co-authored Emotional First-Aid for Children (1991) and Emotional Release for Children (1995). His book The Healing Journey (1997) outlines the frameworks and modalities of ERC for adults. Contributors Dorothy Bottrell Mary Martin Elysha Neylan Patricia Nolan Paul Perfrement Pat Quinn Margaret Thomson Contents Preface vii Introduction viii 1 A new view of the landscape 1 Introducing inner-life skills 2 Code of respect 8 2 Acknowledging the silent ground 9 Using inner-life skills for personal development 10 Types of inner-life exercises 11 Basic principles 13 The place of emotional release work 15 Inner-life skills in school programs 16 Difficulties with quiet inner focus 18 3 A practical guide for presenters 19 Begin with your personal practice 20 Planning inner-life skills work 25 Recommended age ranges for exercises 27 Adapting exercises for different age groups 27 Practicalities for presenters 28 The value of integration 29 Group work 32 4 Feeling the warmth of the sun 36 Overview of methods 37 Self-awareness 48 Relaxation 53 5 Practising freedom, grace and beauty 61 Emotional and physical release as preparation 62 Slow-motion movement 70 v Walking meditations 75 Contents 6 Journey to the centre of the Earth 80 Quiet meditations 81 Some basic stages 84 Evoking the witness state 86 Earthing exercises 90 7 Cultivating creative seeds 98 A language for the inner world 99 Visualisation 100 8 Reclaiming a lost world 116 Focus on self-esteem: developing hope and inner strength 117 9 Attending to each moment of life 130 Caring for your inner life 131 The link between meditation and daily life 133 10 Building bridges through play 138 Improving family and group communication 139 General activities and exercises 140 Personal development for parents 146 Appendix 1: Gestalt role-play question sheet 150 Appendix 2: Some cross-cultural sources 151 Appendix 3: Music 154 Appendix 4: Four Element Sheet 156 Resources 157 Follow-up, support and on-going spiritual direction 158 Glossary 159 Index of exercises 164 General index 166 vi Preface This book is partly a response to those parents, teachers and counsellors who have enthusiastically taken up the challenge of bringing elements of Emotional Release Counselling (ERC) into their daily contact with children, and have asked for more. It is also an expression of the energy, creativity and commitment of the members of the Australian Emotional Release Counsellors Association who have contributed to much of this material. While working with teachers, counsellors, pastoral care workers and par- ents in ERC training courses around Australia I have been constantly impressed by the readiness for and interest in personal development in pro- fessional settings. The majority of those who come to courses and work- shops express a dual interest in professional and personal development, and place the emphasis on their personal growth. ‘I know that whatever I get from this for myself will really help the children I work with. So, I’m here for myself’ they often say. It is as if to become effectively altruistic we first need to understand and take care of ourselves. Self-awareness is the first step in caring for our- selves. Personal development is the ongoing work of self-awareness, emo- tional healing and the expression of new creativity. The exercises in this book are designed to meet this growing hunger for a deeper dimension in the inner life. Many have found that as their own efforts towards self-development have come alive there has been a corresponding interest in self-discovery expressed by the children and adolescents they work with. There is then a need for more resources, more direction and more creativity. This book aims to support that creativity, and possibly lead you to its source. Teaching children and adolescents inner-life skills for personal develop- ment is a major step in caring for the growth of their personality. These exer- cises and meditations will enable them to deal more skilfully with the emo- tional and psychological challenges of living in the world today. The ideas and exercises here are drawn from several traditions as well as from the personal experiences of the contributors, who are all experienced and qualified in the areas of education, counselling or spiritual direction. The ideas and exercises have the common aim of supporting interest in self- knowledge and personal growth. No one approach has been the source. It has been our experience that a creative or spiritual component exists in all children and adolescents and that—given nourishing conditions—it emerges naturally from within. Many of us feel that, in the light of the emotional conflicts, agitation and general lack of direction of the youth in our care, approaches that may have previously been considered luxuries are now essential for personal and aca- demic growth. Mark Pearson Brisbane vii Introduction Our book, Emotional Release for Children, introduced the methods of ERC. It was warmly welcomed by counsellors, psychologists, child-care workers, educators and parents. It was intended to support deep emotional healing in children and adolescents through the release of blocked feelings and clear ‘unfinished business’ from the past. Emotional Release focused on the emotional release processes that can tap into the unconscious and bring profound positive changes in a client’s psychology. ERC has continued to become more widely studied and applied around Australia. It is now regulated by professional ERC associations and is the subject of several academic research projects. This new book focuses on the inner-life skills component of ERC. These are intrapersonal skills that could be available to all children and adoles- cents as part of their basic education. Inner-life skills allow greater self- understanding, self-awareness, self-expression and self-help in the area of the inner world. This leads to a more balanced emotional outlook, a sense of self-worth and an improved ability to focus on learning tasks and devel- oping positive relationships. The intent behind the book is to make these valuable methods more widely available. Inner-life skills are often taught—directly and indirectly—by counsellors, and there is a rapidly growing interest from classroom teachers to include them in the school curriculum. The exercises in this book are suitable for personal development work in the classroom, during youth retreats, for families to play with, and for spiritual directors to implement as part of reli- gious education. The exercises support emotional healing and lead to enhanced self-esteem. viii CHAPTER ONE A new view of the landscape These forms of knowledge (the intrapersonal and the interpersonal intelligences) are of tremendous importance in many, if not all, societies in the world—forms that have, however, tended to be ignored or minimised by nearly all students of cognition. Howard Gardner, Frames of Mind 1