Sean Covey Bestselling author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens and The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make HABITS THE SAMPLE CHAPTER 3 F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Course Syllabus Boldface = video in etextbook LESSON TOPIC STUDENT LEARNING OUTCOMES SUGGESTED VIDEOS 1 The College Success Formula Students will articulate their compelling reason for being in college and a threefold formula for success in college. Welcome 2 7 Habits of Highly Effective Students Students will be able to overview the 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students and explain why they are critically important skills for living a meaningful life and building a successful career. Maturity Continuum 3 Paradigms (See-Do-Get) Students will be able to demonstrate self- awareness through analysis of their own paradigms and their effectiveness in producing success in school and in life. Paradigms 4 Principle-Centered Living Students will be able to define principles of effectiveness and choose to center their paradigms of action on those principles. Principles Govern 5 Academic Protip: How to Study in College Students will be able to distinguish active from passive learning and describe strategies for active learning. n/a Habit 1: Be Proactive 6 The Freedom to Choose Students will be able to explain how to use their own resourcefulness and initiative to meet the challenges of school and life. Escalator 7 Carry Your Own Weather Students will be able to choose their responses to external stimuli instead of reacting helplessly. Carry Your Own Weather 8 Proactive Language Students will be able to distinguish between proactive and reactive language and substitute the proactive for the reactive in their own language. Proactive Language 9 Your Circle of Influence Students will be able to focus their energies on the things they can control rather than stress out over the things they can’t control. Circle of Influence The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students 4 Syllabus 10 Breaking Negative Cycles & Avoiding the Chains of Addiction Students will be able to identify behaviors that keep them from being as effective as they could be and create strategies to overcome those behaviors. Stone 11 Academic Protip: How to Use the College Library Students will be able to use library resources and staff to do research and coursework. n/a Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind 12 The Two Creations Students will begin to develop the habit of “vision,” identifying their dreams and goals, and planning their college experience. Begin With the End in Mind Teacher 13 Your Life Purpose: Personal Mission Statements Students will discover and describe a compelling purpose for their education and their lives in the form of personal mission statements. 80th Birthday Masterpiece 14 Your Life Goals Students will practice a goal-setting and decision-making process in developing a graduation plan. Mohammed Yunus Ice Scraper 15 Academic Protip: How to Write a College Paper Students will be able to describe and practice a simple process for writing research papers and essay examinations. n/a Habit 3: Put First Things First 16 Paradigms: First Things First Students will be able to set priorities and manage time in accordance with those priorities. Q2 Lifestyle 17 Quadrant 2 Lifestyle Students will be able to distinguish between activities that are truly important or merely urgent. The Time Matrix Big Rocks 18 Weekly/Daily Planning Students will gain control of their weekly and daily schedules so that key priorities are fulfilled. Weekly Planning 19 Academic Protip: How to Study for a Test Students will be able to describe and practice a process for succeeding on tests and examinations. n/a The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students 5 F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Habit 4: Think Win-Win 20 The Win-Win Paradigm Students will be able to articulate effective versus ineffective paradigms of human interaction. Win-Win Thinking 21 Balancing Courage and Consideration Students will describe strategies for dealing successfully with peer pressures and interpersonal conflicts. Green and Clean 22 The Emotional Bank Account Students will be able to build healthy relationships by consistent attention to nurturing and repairing those relationships. Emotional Bank Account 23 Academic Protip: How to Think Critically Students will be able to apply critical thinking strategies to college course assignments and life challenges. n/a Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood 24 Diagnose Before You Prescribe Students will be able to describe common barriers to effective communication and strategies for overcoming those barriers. Diagnose Before You Prescribe Autobiographical Responses 25 Empathic Listening Students will practice and apply a process for thoroughly understanding the viewpoints and emotions of others. Empathic Listening 26 Presenting Ideas Persuasively Students will be able to describe quality standards and apply a process for communicating persuasively to others. Presentation Advantage 27 Giving & Receiving Feedback Students will be able to seek and provide constructive feedback to improve performance. Blind Spots 28 Academic Protip: How to Make a Presentation Students will apply a process for presenting ideas persuasively in front of an audience. n/a F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students 6 Habit 6: Synergize 29 Celebrating Differences Students will be able to capitalize on diversity in working collaboratively with others. The Nature of Synergy Everest 30 Working in Teams Students will describe how to contribute to meeting the goals of a group. Path to Synergy 31 Seeking 3rd Alternatives Students will practice and apply a creative process for group problem-solving. IDEO 32 Academic Protip: How to Read College Textbooks Students will describe and apply effective strategies for reading college-level content. n/a Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw 33 The Physical Saw: Solving the Personal Energy Crisis Students will describe balanced ways of maintaining good health and handling stress. Sharpen the Saw 34 The Social/Emotional Saw: Balancing Your Relationships Students will describe balanced ways of renewing themselves emotionally and dealing with social/sexual demands. Stay Strong in the Key Moments 35 The Mental Saw: Learning for a Lifetime Students will describe how the brain learns and how to capitalize on those functions to maximize learning. TBD 36 The Spiritual Saw: Finding Time for Meaning Students will explore strategies that college learning provides for dealing with existential life questions. TBD 37 Academic Protip: How to Manage Money Students will describe and apply a process for budgeting and managing money effectively. Your Money-Making Model 38 Putting It All Together: The Upward Spiral Students will articulate the transformative power of principle-centered living on their education and on their lives. Closing Transformation Syllabus “ Be Proactive “Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” -arnold h. glasow HABIT 1 IN THIS CHAPTER YOU WILL DISCOVER WAYS TO: Also, look for the Academic Protip... • Take initiative. • Carry your own weather. • Use proactive language. • Grow your Circle of Influence. • Break negative cycles. • Avoid addictions. • How to Use the College Library 1 The Habit of Choice The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students Habit 1 8 Habit 1: Be Proactive is the foundation of all the other habits. It is the habit where college students like you learn to take responsibility for your life and education more than ever before. Habit 5 SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD Habit 6 SYNERGIZE Habit 4 THINK WIN-WIN Habit 3 PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST Habit 1 BE PROACTIVE Habit 2 BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND PRIVATE VICTORY PUBLIC VICTORY INDEPENDENCE DEPENDENCE INTERDEPENDENCE Ha bi t 7 SH AR PE N TH E S AW What I Wish I’d known in college “Persistence is more important than talent or knowledge in college, and in life. Study more than you party. You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room, just one of the hardest working.” -Jennifer, Purdue University “You really have to take control of your own education. Don’t just ‘get by’ but make an effort to think about what you’re reading or studying and what you’re doing. Take advantage of everything in front of you.” -Janita, Mauritius “It really is true: 90% of life is showing up! So make the most of attending class—even the early ones!” -Courtney, Boston “This isn’t high school anymore. It’s up to you to ‘show up’ in every sense of the word.” -Jackie, University of Hawaii “It isn’t as hard as you think, especially if you show up to class and do your homework.” -Treion Muller, So. Africa “I think freshman year is the hardest. There is no one there to force you to go to class and no parents breathing down your neck to get your homework done. Make it a point to never miss class and to get your homework done as soon as you can. It’s no fun spending the last three years of college trying to make up for poor choices in your first year.” -Jordan, University of Utah 9 F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 REAL CHOICES: Creating Your Own Life Frank McCain was hungry. It was nearly dinner time for the young man who was in his second term at North Carolina Agricultural and Technical University, known as “A&T.” So he and three friends decided to grab a bite at a nearby diner. It’s the sort of thing millions of students do every day without even thinking about it. But on this day, February 1, 1960, Frank and his friends were taking their lives in their hands. They were African-American students, and it was against the law for them to sit down and order a meal in this whites-only restaurant in Greensboro, North Carolina. They knew the reaction might be a violent one. They did not make this decision lightly. Frank had been reading about Gandhi and Martin Luther King and the idea that injustice doesn’t have to be met with violence. Injustice could be overcome by peaceful, non-violent protest. “Fifteen seconds after I sat on that stool, I had the most wonderful feeling,” Frank said later. “I had a feeling of liberation, restored manhood; I had a natural high. And I truly felt almost invincible.” The students asked for service, but the manager ordered them out and a police officer stood by with a blackjack in hand. Everyone stared at each other for a long time. Abruptly, the manager closed the restaurant early and the young men left with empty stomachs. Word of their daring deed spread quickly, and the next day 20 more African-American students joined them in a second attempt to get service at the restaurant. Within a week, more than 300 black students were participating in lunch counter “sit- ins,” with many white students joining them. The movement spread across the country. The students “sitting in” were viciously abused. People poured sugar, mustard, and ketchup on them and shouted obscenities and death threats. People spat on them and hurled eggs and milkshakes at them. Many of the students were carried away to jail. But like Gandhi, not one ever fought back or said a word of protest to their tormentors. They simply and politely kept asking for service. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students Habit 1 10 “ This shameful spectacle caused many people to look into their hearts, and it wasn’t long before the law changed across the entire United States. Today a plaque marks the lunch counter in Greensboro where Frank McCain and his friends sat down for the first time. The lunch counter itself is on view in the Smithsonian Institution, and a statue on the A&T campus pays tribute to the four college freshmen who changed a nation. “We didn’t want to set the world on fire. We just wanted to sit down and eat like everybody else,” Frank said many years later. “We wanted to be included in the round table of humanity.” Frank McCain and his friends weren’t satisfied with standing back and letting the future happen to them. They took steps to create their own future. And that’s what Habit 1: Be Proactive is about—taking responsibility for your life and choosing the future you want to have. You probably don’t face the dreadful barriers Frank faced, but in your own way you have a serious choice to make: Will you stand back and let life happen to you, or will you step up and make it happen the way you want it to happen? If you’re a proactive student, you take charge of your life. You take charge of your education. You choose your classes, your major, your career. You choose when to wake up and go to sleep. You choose your friends and how you will spend your time. You face up to obstacles and beat them, as Frank McCain did. You are captain of your own ship. The opposite of proactive is reactive. If you’re a reactive student, you avoid responsibility for your life and your education. You blame other people (“I would have aced that test, but my roommate wouldn’t lend me his notes”) or circumstances (“It was too cold to go to class”) for your problems. You act like a victim (“That professor’s out to get me”). You need somebody else to do everything for you (“Mom, would you take the bus over here and do my laundry for me? I just can’t do it. I know it’s 200 miles, Mom . . . “). In this chapter we’ll find out how proactive you are and what you can do to become more proactive. If you practice Habit 1, these See-Do-Get elements become your reality. “Do what you think is right for your happiness. If you’re not happy with what you’re doing, change studies. If you think the direction you’ve taken for the last five years is no longer suiting you, start something else.” –Erlijen, University of Amsterdam 11 F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 THE PARADIGMS OF PROACTIVITY Proactive people think differently. If you’re proactive, you have these paradigms: • You are free to choose how to act regardless of what happens to you. • Your future is the product of your own choices. The Freedom to Choose You are free to choose your own actions. Nobody can make you do anything. Imagine being in a situation where you’re completely helpless, where other people are totally in control of you. And these people hate you and want to make you suffer. That was the situation of the great Jewish psychiatrist Viktor Frankl when he was imprisoned in the Nazi death camps during World War II. In his famous book Man’s Search for Meaning, written after the war, he describes many atrocities, including watching his parents, brother, and wife sent off to die in gas chambers. Only he and a sister survived. As a medical student, Frankl had been schooled in genetic determinism and environmental determinism, two prevailing theories of why people behave as they do. Genetic determinism suggests that you are who you are because of your genetics. The convenient thing about this theory is that it allows people to blame their bad habits on their genes. “My grandfather was hot tempered, my dad was that way, and so am I. There’s nothing I can do about it.” By contrast, environmental determinists argued that genes are not the whole answer. Your environment makes you who you are—your home life, your neighborhood, your friends, your school, the economy. Clearly, your genes and environment both play a role in who you are. But SEE • You are free to choose how to act regardless of what happens to you. • Your future is a product of your own choices. S E E D O G E T PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVENESS GET • The future you want. DO • Take initiative. • Carry your own weather. • Use proactive language. • Grow your Circle of Influence. • Break negative cycles. • Avoid addictions. SEE-DO-GET MODEL RESPONSIBILITY AND INITIATIVE The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students Habit 1 12 V i k t o r F r a n k l Frankl saw things in the camps that he couldn’t explain with either theory: “We who have lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances—to choose one’s own way.” Frankl discovered that people are free to choose their own attitudes. This discovery excited him. It meant that his captors could jail him, kill his family, and torture his body, but only he could choose how to respond to it all. They could not take that choice from him. Only he—neither his genes nor his environment—could choose what he would do. Frankl was fortunate to survive the war. Afterwards, Frankl taught his students about their freedom to choose their own response to life. He pioneered the cognitive theory of human behavior: You are not simply a product of your genes and your upbringing. You are a product of your own choices. You’re free to choose what you will do about what has happened to you, what is happening to you, and what will happen to you in the future. Three Theories of Human Behavior GENETIC DETERMINISM ENVIRONMENTAL DETERMINISM COGNITIVE THEORY “I am the product of my genes.” “I am the product of my environment.” “I am the product of my choices.” The Creative Force of Your Life If you are proactive, you see yourself as completely free to choose what you will do with your life. You also see yourself—nobody and nothing else—as the creator of your own future. That’s the second paradigm of proactive thinking. Richard de Charms, a professor of education and psychology at Washington University, taught that people are either “pawns” or “origins.” In the game of chess, the “pawn” is the least powerful piece on the board. It gets pushed around and sacrificed. The player who controls all the moves is called the “origin.” The origin acts; the pawn is acted upon. If you see yourself as a pawn, you get pushed around by luck, fate, or circumstances you can’t control. Life just happens to you. You’re a victim of society or your upbringing. By contrast, if you see yourself as an origin, you’re in charge of your life, you control the moves, and you are responsible for your success—or lack of it—in school. De Charms says by choosing one of these two paradigms, you decide what your life will be like. Of course, no one controls everything in life. Lots of stuff happens—good and bad, genetic and environmental—that you have absolutely no control over. But if you have the proactivity paradigm, you create your own future. “ “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” –Jim Rohn “ “You can’t help what you were born with but you can help what you become.” –Alice Krige in Skin, 2008 Do you see yourself as more of a “pawn” or an “origin”? 13 F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 “ “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” -Peter Drucker WHAT PROACTIVE COLLEGE STUDENTS DO Remember, your paradigms drive what you Do, so here’s what you Do differently if you have the proactivity paradigm: • Take initiative. • Carry your own weather. • Use proactive language. • Grow your Circle of Influence. • Break negative cycles. • Avoid addictive behaviors Take Initiative Proactive people act rather than are acted upon. They are self-starters. They take initiative to make things happen. Taking initiative does not mean being pushy, aggressive, or annoying. Rather, it means being resourceful and creative in making things happen the way you want them to happen. I like the example of Ute, a student at the University of Göttingen in Germany. She needed a place to live, but all the affordable places near the university were run down and falling apart. She could have just coped with it like most students, but instead she hopped in her VW Käfer and looked in a better section of town. When she found a good neighborhood, she put a note in each postbox that told people who she was and what she wanted. An elderly patent lawyer responded and offered her a guest room in his nice home for a very affordable rate. It even had a garden view. Ute spent three great years there. The point? Ute didn’t just sit back, accept the status quo, and let life happen. She took the initiative to make things happen her way. During my senior year of college, I was a few credit hours short of a language requirement I needed to graduate. I wasn’t excited about the classes offered, so I drew up my own curriculum for a class, showed it to the dean of the college, and asked for credit. He not only approved my plan but enthusiastically endorsed it. As a result, I got what I wanted and received credit for it—all because I took the initiative. If you don’t like your circumstances, go out and make your own. Once when Napoleon was preparing for battle, one of his soldiers asked him what he thought the battlefield conditions would be like. Napoleon was curt in responding: “Conditions? I create my own conditions.” Like Napoleon, proactive people create their own conditions. They take seriously the words of George Bernard Shaw, the English playwright, who said: “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” If you’re proactive, you take the initiative to get the classes you need, take care of your health, or get a job. When life says no to you, you don’t take no for an answer. You create the conditions for a positive and fun college experience. “ “Whatever you’re meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always possible.” –Doris Lessing N a p o l e o n B o n a p a r t e The 7 Habits of Highly Effective College Students Habit 1 14 ACTIVITY 8 “7 Rights” for Successful Studying Create a good study environment by doing these 7 things right. 1. Right Attitude. Good grades are your responsibility. You own them and no one else does, not even your mom. You can get good grades. You may need to get help, but it is within your control. Believe that you can do it because you can. 2. Right Energy. Your brain is connected to the rest of your body. To work well, it needs food and sleep. So if you’re starving, grab a bite to eat before you jump into studying. Staying up all night to study puts your body in the same state as drinking and driving. Instead, exercise, drink water, and take breaks. 3. Right Location. Find a quiet place where you can spread out all your stuff, such as the library. Stay away from places where you are tempted to slack off. Make sure you have everything you need readily accessible—paper, pencils, laptop, snacks, and water—so you don’t have to get up constantly. 4. Right Time. Set regular times for studying. Pick times when you are most alert and least likely to get distracted. Make it a routine. 5. Right Pace. Determine how long you will study. Stretch yourself, but break down your study times into doable chunks. Build in breaks to catch some fresh air and re-charge. 6. Right Sequence. Prioritize your work. First, focus on the now: do whatever is due today or tomorrow. Second, focus on the later: look ahead and chip away at upcoming projects, papers, readings, and tests. Don’t put them off—do a little bit at a time. 7. Right Response. You have the right to say no: NO to incoming text messages, NO to a crazy party, NO to your friend asking for a favor, and NO to the same video you’ve seen ten times already. Don’t be afraid to say no. It’s okay. Now reflect: How effective are your study conditions? Think about your habits and patterns: where, when, and how long do you study? How well do you organize your study materials and plan your time? What could you do better? Carry Your Own Weather Have you ever known people who mirror the weather? If it’s sunny outside, they’re cheerful. If it’s overcast, they’re gloomy. If it’s really stormy, watch out! If you’re a reactive person, you allow the outside world to determine how you feel. You let other people spoil your moods. You let the weather decide if you’re going to have a good day. You feel awesome if your team wins and snarl at people if your team loses. By allowing the outside world to decide how you feel, you empower it to control you. You’ve heard of road rage. Driver A cuts off driver B so driver B goes into a rage—horns sound, fingers fly, and driver B’s day is ruined. To top it “ “On starting out a gloomy day: First you must realize that it is the day that is gloomy, not you. If you want to be gloomy, too, that’s all right, but it’s not mandatory.” –Nora Gallagher 15 F 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 all off, while driver B stews all day, driver A is off and sailing, enjoying life. You waste time and energy when you allow others’ weaknesses to control your emotions. Comedian Buddy Hackett put it this way, “I’ve had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.” Proactive people choose their own weather. They choose to be pleasant, positive, and principle-centered, regardless of the circumstances or the moods of those around them. They’re like the four freshmen from A&T who sat politely and quietly at the lunch counter while angry people spat on them. They’re like the concentration camp prisoners Frankl wrote about, giving away their last piece of food for the day, creating hope even in the darkest circumstances. Marci, a student from Kentucky, shared this experience: Over the Christmas holidays, I flew home to spend time with family. On a previous visit, I had met a young girl named Emily. She was 11 and I was 20. She was stricken with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis that had progressed to the point that it was crippling her ability to use her arms and legs. We had periodically stayed in touch, so I thought I would try to see her. I called Emily’s home the day after Christmas and learned she was in the hospital having surgery. The muscles and tendons in her hips had tightened so much that it was like she was always squatting down. The doctors were going to cut the muscles and tendons in her stomach and pelvis to release her hips and let her legs straighten. As I went to the hospital, I wanted so badly to have something to say that would lift her spirits. Instead, as I walked into that room, there was my little friend—wrapped like a mummy from waist down, with a huge smile on her face. She was lifting the spirits of all who entered her room. She was taking all her physical challenges and choosing to deal with them in such a way that brought smiles and strength to those around her. She totally lifted my spirits. Emily had many reasons to be miserable: a horrible, chronic disease, surgery over Christmas, and a hospital stay while friends were playing with new toys. But she was free to choose how she felt, and she chose to be happy. In contrast, I am reminded of a student who leaves her apartment for school one day and a neighbor called out, “Have a good day.” To which the young woman replied, “Thanks, but I have other plans.” Do you know people like that? They choose to be miserable and try to bring others down with them. But regardless of whether it’s raining outside or not, you can choose your own inner weather. “ “Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” –Dale Carnegie “ “Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way— that is not easy.” –Aristotle