FR “An amazingly comprehensive collection of designs, options, examples, and techniques on Praise for Developing Your Confl ict Competence LU (Continued from front fl ap) AN how to move from confl ict avoidance to constructive resolution.” Confl ict is inevitable in any N D A —Jim Kouzes, coauthor, The Leadership Challenge authors present specifi c approaches for GE organization. Successful leaders “A must-have guidebook for the new age of global business. This book shows every leader how to turn A changing organizational culture so confl ict feelings of fear into feelings of safety, suspicion into trust, and competitiveness into collaboration.” N know that if confl ict is embraced can be addressed with effectiveness and —Jim Kouzes, coauthor of the best-selling book The Leadership Challenge and Dean’s Executive Professor D CCRRAAIIGG EE.. RRUUNNDDEE rather than avoided it can lead immediacy. of Leadership, Leavey School of Business, Santa Clara University E Developing Your Confl ict Competence to fresh opportunities, solutions, V demonstrates how anyone confronted with “Craig Runde and Tim Flanagan use their vast experience to give us Developing Your Confl ict Competence. aanndd TTIIMM AA.. FFLLAANNAAGGAANN E and results. confl ict can cool down, slow down, and Move beyond negative workplace confl ict to positive and constructive outcomes with the simple tools and L engage constructively. suggestions in this must-read fi eld guide!” O authors of Becoming a Conflict Competent Leader —Marshall Goldsmith, best-selling author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Succession: Are You Developing Your Confl ict Competence P Ready?, and the upcoming MOJO is a practical book that offers a hands- I N on resource for leaders, managers, team “Runde and Flanagan have taken their Confl ict Competence Model to the next level. Their basic tenets of con- G members, and everyone within an organiza- fl ict competence: cool down, slow down, and engage constructively are proven techniques for moving from DD EE VV EE LL OO PP II NN GG tion who wants to sharpen their skills and confl ict to collaboration. Whether you are a manager, team leader, trainer, or simply interested in self-improve- Y learn to respond to confl ict with confi dence. ment, this is a must-have book for enhancing your confl ict competence.” O PHOTO BY MATTHEW RUNDE PHOTO BY RONALD COOK —“iTsEh aed m qNuuoisnltta-ehnsa,s vmeen aotnianal yggoiunuigdr edb iotroeo ckletsovhre,e rlLaf.eg”ainrngi ncgo nafln idct O forgr apnoiszaittivioen oaul tDceovmeelosp. m Feunllt ,o Af pArAa cAtuictaol Ctoluobls Saonudt hexamples, it UR C YYOO UU RR CC OO NN FF LL II CC TT Tesinhest,iros iae ttnshh deiirs din lfil a ublltseoutdorrea kw t oiivinfte h ct hsotietpno fls“r cii,ec ocstn h atfleh niccadktt lsiocshoftofsmew,r p e ihnexoetsewirgnc htits”ot- —Erica Bader Sorrell, executive director, Management and Executive Education, Rollins College O handle confl ict successfully. Craig E. Runde is director of the Center for N Throughout the book, authors Craig Confl ict Dynamics at Eckerd College. “The hands-on tools outlined in Developing Your Confl ict Competence were instrumental in developing the F Runde and Tim Flanagan outline a con- Tim A. Flanagan is director of Custom Pro- ability of our refueling outage leadership team to deal with thousands of competing activities, hundreds of CC OO MM PP EE TT EE NN CC EE L crete process for dealing with unavoid- grams at the Leadership Development Institute temporary employees, and long work hours—a natural recipe for confl ict. As we prepare for future refueling I able workplace tensions and present a at Eckerd College. outages, we continue to spread the book’s teachings to our permanent staff and supplemental workforce.” C series of thought-provoking questions and —Chris Schwarz, site vice president, Palisades Nuclear Power Station Entergy T self-diagnostics. Developing Your Confl ict Runde and Flanagan are the authors of Building Confl ict Competent Teams and C Competence is a comprehensive guide to “I’ve read the authors’ fi rst two books, Becoming a Confl ict Competent Leader and Building Confl ict Com- O Becoming a Confl ict Competent Leader (both managing disagreements, differences, and petent Teams. Their latest book pulls it all together by providing models, examples, and thought-provoking from Jossey-Bass). Visit the authors’ web site at M discord. It shows how an individual can insight. It will be required reading for my senior management team.” www.confl ictcompetent.com. A Hands-On Guide for LEADERS, MANAGERS, practically help others deal with confl icts —Deborah Jallad, president/chairman, Accredited Surety and Casualty Company, Inc. P E that are causing friction within an organiza- The Center for Creative Leadership (CCL®) T FACILITATORS, and TEAMS tion. Runde and Flanagan also give down- is a top-ranked, global provider of executive www.josseybass.com E to-earth advice for dealing with discord FREE education that develops better leaders through PPremium Content MANAGEMENT/CONFLICT N within teams. They show how teams can its exclusive focus on leadership education and RESOLUTION C establish norms for handling confl ict by research. Founded in 1970 as a nonprofi t, edu- E MORE CONTENT INCLUDED ON THE INTERNET creating the right climate for discussing cational institution, CCL helps clients worldwide This book includes premium content that can be issues and using effective communications cultivate creative leadership—the capacity to accessed from our Web site when you register at techniques. On a more global level, the achieve more than imagined by thinking and www.josseybass.com/go/runde using the password THE CENTER FOR CREATIVE LEADERSHIP acting beyond boundaries—through an array of professional. programs, products, and other services. Ranked in the Top 5 Worldwide for Executive Education by BusinessWeek (Continues on back fl ap) Developing Your Confl ict Competence ffffiirrss..iinndddd ii 11//66//1100 1100::2288::1166 AAMM On the Web: Take the Confl ict Dynamics Profi le® With a 1/2 Hour Review Session at a Substantial Discount The Confl ict Dynamics Profi le® assessment instrument helps you better understand how you currently respond to workplace confl ict. It enables you to leverage areas of strength and modify behaviors that don’t work well. The instrument provides specifi c measures on fi fteen different constructive and destructive behaviors. It also looks at confl ict “hot buttons”—situations and behaviors in others that can irritate you and trigger confl ict. In addition to an eight-page report and forty-page development guide, you will also receive a half-hour telephone session with an experienced consultant who will review your results with you. Link: www.confl ictdynamics.org/special Code word for discount: CCD3 Price: $150.00, a greater than 25% discount FREE PPremium Content This book includes premium content that can be accessed from our Web site when you register at www.josseybass.com/go/Runde using the password professional. ffffiirrss..iinndddd iiii 11//66//1100 1100::2288::1177 AAMM Developing Your Confl ict Competence A HANDS-ON GUIDE FOR LEADERS, MANAGERS , FAC ILI TATOR S, AND TEAMS Craig E. Runde Tim A. Flanagan ffffiirrss..iinndddd iiiiii 11//66//1100 1100::2288::1188 AAMM Copyright © 2010 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. Published by Jossey-Bass A Wiley Imprint 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741—www.josseybass.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, 201-748-6011, fax 201-748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions. Material in Chapter 4 from Michelle LeBaron is reprinted with permission of John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Material in Chapter 6 from the International Institute for Confl ict Prevention & Resolution is reprinted with permission of John Wiley & Sons, Inc. Readers should be aware that Internet Web sites offered as citations and/or sources for further information may have changed or disappeared between the time this was written and when it is read. Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or com- pleteness of the contents of this book and specifi cally disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fi tness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profi t or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Jossey-Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739, outside the U.S. at 317-572-3986, or fax 317-572-4002. Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Runde, Craig E. Developing your confl ict competence : a hands-on guide for leaders, managers, facilitators, and teams /Craig E. Runde, Tim A. Flanagan. p. cm. "A joint publication of the Jossey-Bass business & management series and the Center for Creative Leadership." Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-470-50546-5 (cloth) 1. Confl ict management. 2. Interpersonal confl ict. I. Flanagan, Tim A. II. Center for Creative Leadership. III. Title. HD42.R864 2010 658.3'145—dc22 2009044800 Printed in the United States of America THIRD EDITION HB Printing 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ffffiirrss..iinndddd iivv 11//66//1100 1100::2288::1188 AAMM A Joint Publication of The Jossey-Bass Business & Management Series and The Center for Creative Leadership ffffiirrss..iinndddd vv 11//66//1100 1100::2288::1199 AAMM For all those challenged by confl ict (pretty much everyone in the world). May you fi nd new ways to make the best out of differences! ffffiirrss..iinndddd vvii 11//66//1100 1100::2288::2200 AAMM C O N T E N T S Preface: What’s a Hands-On Guide and Why Should I Be Interested? ix 1 Introduction 1 2 Cognitive Aspects of Confl ict 11 3 The Emotional Side of Confl ict 33 4 Engaging Confl ict Constructively 71 5 Team Confl ict Competence 139 6 Organizational Confl ict Competence 215 Resources 243 References 249 The Authors 253 Index 255 About the Center for Creative Leadership 267 vii ffttoocc..iinndddd vviiii 1122//1199//0099 1122::1155::4499 PPMM ffttoocc..iinndddd vviiiiii 1122//1199//0099 1122::1155::4499 PPMM P R E F A C E W H A T ‘ S A H A N D S - O N G U I D E A N D W H Y S H O U L D I B E I N T E R E S T E D ? O ur fi rst two books, Becoming a Confl ict Competent Leader and Building Confl ict Competent Teams, generated a good deal of interest (Runde and Flanagan, 2007, 2008). We were pleased with the reviews and the number of invitations we received to speak and pres- ent. We were also intrigued by the volume of inquiries from readers regarding how they could put the principles of confl ict competence into action. We had designed B uilding Confl ict Competent Teams to be user friendly. Our in- tent was that teams could use portions of it as a handbook as they developed norms for interaction and encountered the challenges of confl ict. We discovered that team leaders, coaches, consultants, and trainers loved this notion. We also found that they wanted even more. Thus, the concept for this book, Developing Your Confl ict Competence, is unquestioningly one of practicality and usability for individuals, teams, trainers, facilitators, and coaches. We didn ’t enter into this third book in the series lightly. For us, tackling a hands - on guide means covering the concepts we presented in the fi rst two books without pure (boring) replication. At the same time, our intent isn’ t to break much new ground. Rather, we are committed to providing examples, suggestions, and tools for embracing the opportunities and meeting the challenges of confl ict. Our goal iixx ffpprreeff..iinndddd iixx 1122//1199//0099 1122::0099::3366 PPMM