K. Wind Hughes and Linda Wolf Photography by Linda Wolf N S P EW OCIETY UBLISHERS Cataloguing in Publication Data: A catalog record for this publication is available from the Library of Congress and the National Library of Canada. Copyright © 1997 by K. Wind Hughes and Linda Wolf. All rights reserved. Cover design by Miriam MacPhail from a photograph by Gay Marshall. Book design by Miriam MacPhail. Printed in Canada on acid-free, partially recycled paper using soy-based inks. Inquiries regarding requests to reprint all or part of Daughters of the Moon, Sisters of the Sun should be addressed to New Society Publishers at the address below. Paperback ISBN: 0-86571-377-4 Hardback ISBN: 0-86571-376-6 To order directly from the publishers, please add $3.00 to the price of the first copy, and $1.00 for each additional copy (plus GST in Canada). Send check or money order to: New Society Publishers, P.O. Box 189, Gabriola Island, BC V0R 1X0, Canada. New Society Publishers aims to publish books for fundamental social change through nonviolent action. We focus especially on sustainable living, progressive leadership, and educational and parenting resources. Our full list of books can be browsed on the world wide web at: http://www.newsociety.com NEW SOCIETY PUBLISHERS Gabriola Island, BC, Canada and Stony Creek, CT, U.S.A. (cid:2)iv Daughters of the Moon, Sisters of the Sun Idedicate this book to the unfoldment of spirit: Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, bodhi svaha. — Wind To my beloveds:Tom, Heather and Genevieve. — Linda And in loving memory of April Principio-LaSalata, Danaan Parry, and Amy Anderson. Young Women and Mentors on the Transition to Womanhood (cid:2)v Contents Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ix Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 ONE: THE EMERGING SELF 5 Heather Wolf-Smeeth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Carol Gilligan talks with the Girls Focus Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Maiden, Mother, Crone - Wind Hughes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Talina Wood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Talina Wood talks with Starhawk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Marianna Pinchot and Heather Wolf-Smeeth talk with Riane Eisler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29 Bonnie Price . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Linda Wolf and Wind Hughes talk with Barbara Walker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Ritual, Ceremony, and Moon Lodges - Wind Hughes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39 TWO: TAKING IT TO THE EDGE 42 Suzanna Ribeiro . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 Letter from Marion Woodman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Suzanna Ribeiro talks with Jean Kilbourne . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 McKayla Hauschulz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 McKayla Hauschulz talks with Lindsay Wagner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 Eeah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 Eeah and Wind Hughes talk with Anisa Romero . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70 Erin Eychaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73 “Just Say No” Doesn’t Work - Wind Hughes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 THREE: GROWING UP FAST AND SPEAKING OUT 83 Phoebe Caulfield . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84 The Courage to Heal - Linda Wolf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87 Linda Wolf talks with Maya Angelou . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90 Sarah Lindsley . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94 McKenzie Nielsen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101 Sarah Lindsley and McKenzie Nielsen talk with the Indigo Girls . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 The Temple of the Holy Prostitute - Wind Hughes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 (cid:2)vi Daughters of the Moon, Sisters of the Sun Valerie Fox . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113 The Right to Choose - Linda Wolf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120 Deanna Teasley . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123 Kids Having Kids - Wind Hughes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127 Kimberly Hoffman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132 FOUR: FINDING OUR POWER 137 Jessi Old Coyote . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138 Jessi Old Coyote talks with Wilma Mankiller . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143 Janet McCloud . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148 Tasha Flournoy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151 Linda Wolf talks with Byllye Avery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157 Guadeloupe Maria Christo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159 Guadeloupe Christo and Tasha Flournoy talk with Angela Davis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164 Annie Huntley . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170 Bobbi Hervin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176 Tia Sharpe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181 Tia Sharpe talks with Michelle Akers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185 The Other Side of Sports - Linda Wolf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189 Morgan Hohn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 192 A New Definition of Power - Linda Wolf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197 Morgan Hohn talks with Bella Abzug . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198 What the Women of the World Want - Morgan Hohn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201 FIVE: GENDERTALKS 203 Are Men Really from Mars and Women from Venus? - Wind Hughes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204 GenderTalks - Wind Hughes & Linda Wolf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 206 Navigating the High Seas of Relationship - Christopher Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 208 Epilogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 217 Bibliography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 221 World Wide Web resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225 Photograph Credits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 227 Young Women and Mentors on the Transition to Womanhood (cid:2)vii (cid:2)viii Acknowledgments W e are so grateful for all of the people in our lives who have shared them- selves with us and are a part of our spirits. Even if we do not mention your name, you are truly a part of this book and we are thankful for your contribution to our lives. For my life partner Christopher: When ten. For my soul brother Billy: We don’t need Wind and Ocean meet, God becomes manifest. no stinkin’ badges! To my buddy Russell, “and To my Mom, who convinced me I can do any- I won’t back down!” Chuck: If your thought thing: Thank you for all of your faith, love, dreams could be seen...Thanks old friend. To and friendship. To my children, Kimberly and the Grandmothers and Grandfathers: I am Justin, and ‘my adopted daughter,’ Maureen: listening. There are no words to describe my love for —Wind you. Thanks for hanging in there through everything. For my stepchildren, Cara and To my beloved Tom - husband, best Airell: Thank you for your willingness to let friend, brother, lover, soul mate: Thank you me in. You are added love and joy! For my for loving and accepting me completely and sister Valerie: Your e-mails kept me going with supporting me to find love in myself. To our love, encouragement, and humor. To Linda: precious daughters, Heather and Genevieve: The laughter and the tears are etched in my Thank you for your tenderness, goodness, inner canvas. Thanks for being who you are true love, and compassion. You are the greatest and loving me no matter what. I couldn’t have blessings of my life and the inspiration for done this without you! For Cuz Joe: Thanks for everything I do. Thank you Mom, for always the tips. For the women friends in my life - being there for me. As I listened to all the Laurie G., Penny V., Jerilyn B., Gloria C., Char- great women and girls speak their wisdom, I lene C., Lynne M.: You are always in my heart. realized everything they said I had already For my soul sister Shelly: What a long strange heard from you. Thank you Dad and Diana, trip it’s been! To my ritual circle sisters: With- for keeping your hearts open as I grow. Thank out you, this book would not have been writ- you Grandma Carrie, for all the late-night soul Acknowledgments (cid:2)ix