Praise forConflict across Cultures and Michelle LeBaron and Venashri Pillay “Conflict across Culturesis a rare breed ofwork combining theory and practice,real-life stories and metaphor,critical analysis and holistic approaches.The end result is a book that is remarkably readable,and even more valuable for its contribution to understanding the problems that underpin virtually every major conflict in the world today. This is one ofthe few works on culture and conflict resolution that actually practices what it preaches.The authors have drawn on their own cultural diversity to produce a framework that can be used by conflict resolution practitioners and laypeople from all walks oflife.” —Ambassador John W.McDonald, Chairman,The Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy “Learning to handle cross-cultural conflict is emerging as a central problem in human relations.And no one is better qualified to describe the intricate ins and outs ofthat learning process than the extraordinary—and extraordinarily honest—team that has written Conflict across Cultures.” —Christopher Honeyman Conflict Management Consultant and Co-Editor,The Negotiator’s Fieldbook “LeBaron and colleagues fused,with elegance,their substantial knowledge in the fields ofpeace,conflict and culture with stories and experiences,and artistic imagination which made reading this book like a walk in a terrain, or a swim in a river … with pleasant friends.” —Amr Abdalla,Ph.D. Professor and Dean for Academic Programmes University for Peace United Nations Affiliated University “Conflict across Culturesteaches how each ofus can build bridges across the chasms that separate different cultures.With insights born ofrich experiences,the authors explore metaphor,ritual and storytelling to help people understand one another,and by helping us to recognize what is sacred to others,they help us to find our own sacred ground.” —Dr.Mary-Wynne Ashford International Physicians for the Prevention ofNuclear War CONFLICT ACROSS CULTURES CONFLICT ACROSS CULTURES A Unique Experience of Bridging Differences Michelle LeBaron and Venashri Pillay First published by Intercultural Press,a division ofNicholas Brealey Publishing,in 2006. Intercultural Press,a division of Nicholas Brealey Publishing Nicholas Brealey Publishing 100 City Hall Plaza,Suite 501 3-5 Spafield Street,Clerkenwell Boston,MA 02108 USA London,EC1R 4QB,UK Tel:+ 617-523-3801 Tel:+44-(0)-207-239-0360 Fax:+ 617-523-3708 Fax:+44-(0)-207-239-0370 www.interculturalpress.com www.nbrealey-books.com © 2006 by Michelle LeBaron and Venashri Pillay All rights reserved.No part ofthis publication may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher,except in the case ofbrief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. Printed in the United States ofAmerica 10 09 08 07 06 1 2 3 4 5 ISBN-13:978-1-931930-22-2 ISBN-10:1-931930-22-8 Library ofCongress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Conflict across cultures:a unique experience ofbridging differences / [edited by] Michelle LeBaron and Venashri Pillay. p.cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN-13:978-1-931930-22-2 ISBN-10:1-931930-22-8 1.Culture conflict. 2.Conflict management. 3.Multiculturalism. 4.Intercultural communication. 5.Cross-cultural orientation. I.LeBaron,Michelle,1956- II.Pillay, Venashri. HM1121.C66453 2006 305.8—dc22 2006020995 To those who share the possible dream ofcelebrating differences in all their richness. Contents Acknowledgments xi Preface xiii Chapter One Crossing Boundaries 1 Venashri Pillay and Michelle LeBaron Images ofOurselves:Differences and Connections 2 Forming Our Ideas on Culture and Conflict Resolution 6 A Map through Rough Terrain 7 Deepening the Colors:Expanding Awareness of Conflict and Culture 8 Chapter Two Conflict, Culture, and Images of Change 11 Michelle LeBaron and Venashri Pillay Conflict and Culture:Mapping the Terrain 12 Culture and Conflict:Intertwined Inextricably 15 Connecting Culture and Conflict Resolution 19 Chapter Three Culture: Exploring the River 25 Venashri Pillay Dare We Define Culture? 25 How Culture Works 29 Guiding Lights:Cultural Starting Points 32 Constructing Cultural Flowers:When Starting Points Overlap 48 Using Our Multicultural Selves 55 Chapter Four A Journey Toward Cultural Fluency 57 Tatsushi (Tats) Arai Cultural Fluency 58 Anticipatory Capacity:Expecting Uncertainties in Cross-cultural Turbulence 63 Embeddedness:Rediscovering Myselfin the Mirror of Cultural Others 66 Expressive Capacity:Describing Indescribable Feelings 72 Navigational Capacity:Sailing across Turbulent Waters 76 The Way Forward 79 ix