Coming out as Dalit.indd 1 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM Coming out as Dalit.indd 2 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM {202} {202} Coming out as Dalit.indd 3 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM ALEPH BOOK COMPANY An independent publishing firm promoted by Rupa Publications India First published in India in 2019 by Aleph Book Company 7/16 Ansari Road, Daryaganj New Delhi 110 002 Copyright © Yashica Dutt 2019 All rights reserved. The author has asserted her moral rights. The views and opinions expressed in this book are the author’s own and the facts are as reported by her, which have been verified to the extent possible, and the publishers are not in any way liable for the same. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form or by any means, without permission in writing from Aleph Book Company. ISBN: 978-93-88292-40-5 1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 For sale in the Indian subcontinent only. Printed and bound in India by This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published. Coming out as Dalit.indd 4 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM For My mother, who taught me that I could do anything I wanted and helped me live it, often at a great personal cost. Rohith Vemula, who lit a flame that made my silence impossible. Coming out as Dalit.indd 5 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM Coming out as Dalit.indd 6 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM CONTENTS Author’s Note ix Prologue xi 1 The Early Years 1 2 The Caste System: How it Began 10 3 Education and Financial Strife 19 4 Humiliation in Mussoorie 33 5 The Reality of Untouchability 41 6 The Long Road to St. Stephen’s 50 7 The Argument for Reservation 69 8 Culture Cache and Onward to Columbia 92 9 Dalit Movements and Ambedkar’s Legacy 104 10 My Introduction to Ambedkar 131 11 Dalit Women’s Movements 142 12 The Danger of the Single Narrative 158 Epilogue 180 Acknowledgements 185 Notes and References 187 Index 208 Coming out as Dalit.indd 7 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM Coming out as Dalit.indd 8 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM AUTHOR’S NOTE I spent close to ten years working as a journalist in Delhi. During that time, writing a book wasn’t something I could ever have seen myself doing. I didn’t think I had enough to say, that I was willing to share with the world. After I came out as Dalit, I no longer had anything to hide. Everything about my life was connected to a larger narrative. Everything that I had done so far or that had happened to me was somehow related to my caste. But I didn’t want to tell just my story. I also wanted to tell the stories of all those Dalits that the media and society at large had ignored. Through their accounts and by making sense of my own life, I have tried to piece together a larger picture of what casteism truly looks like today. Before I started thinking deeply about it, like most of us, I never saw caste for what it really is—the invisible arm that turns the gears in nearly every system in our country. It’s been working silently for so long that we have stopped noticing it, even though it exists all around us. Whether we realize it or not, almost all critical decisions and developments in the country, whether in the justice system, government or media, are upper-caste decisions. And they almost always exclude lower castes or Dalits. Caste doesn’t only come into play with regard to certain issues—manual scavenging, reservation, government jobs or cow traders. It is part of every aspect of all our lives. What I hope this book will do is let you see how. In this book, I talk of the lives of a varied group of Dalits: those who live in the cities and in villages, those who read Ambedkar or don’t, those who are out as Dalit or not and those who exist somewhere in between. Clearly, I don’t speak for every Dalit in the world. There are thousands of stories I have yet to discover. But as a journalist, a Coming out as Dalit.indd 9 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM x coming out as dalit researcher, a writer and a Dalit woman who spent most of her life in hiding, I hope to speak for those whose voices haven’t been heard before. The only thing I don’t do is ask if casteism still exists. And you won’t either, once you listen to those who are shouting to be heard. w The descriptors ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ to refer to people who belong to various caste groups are arbitrary, illogical and offensive. I use these terms since they are widely understood, but I reject the implied inherent ‘superiority’ or ‘inferiority’ that they have come to stand for. Coming out as Dalit.indd 10 2/4/2019 1:55:22 PM