God’s Way of Remaining Anonymous God’s Way of Remaining Anonymous Reflections on Daytime Dramas and Divine Intervention Gloria lorinG Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida www.hcibooks.com Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data ©2012 Gloria Loring ISBN-13: 978-07573-1648-7 (trade paper) ISBN-10: 0-7573-1648-4 (trade paper) ISBN-13: 978-07573- 1649-4 (e-book) ISBN-10: 0-7573-1649-2 (e-book) All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher. HCI, its logos, and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc. 3201 S.W. 15th Street Deerfield Beach, FL 33442–8190 Cover photo ©Bader Howar Cover and interior design by Lawna Patterson Oldfield This book is dedicated to my sister Peggy and her willingness to face whatever life asked of her. Table of Songs one “I Always Will (Brennan’s Song)” .......................................0 two “I Hear You Calling” ........................................................00 three “About Love” ...................................................................00 four “Barely Breathing” ..........................................................00 five “Turn the Page” ...............................................................00 six “Heaven Knows” .............................................................00 seven “The Real Thing” ............................................................00 eight “Talk to Me” .................................................................000 nine “The I in Me” ................................................................000 ten “Song of My Father” ......................................................000 eleven “Invited to the Dance”....................................................000 twelve “Twenty Years Girltime” ................................................000 These songs are available on Gloria’s CD, Turn the Page, available at www.GloriaLoring.com. vii Contents Foreword xiii Acknowledge .................................................................................. xv Introduction .....................................................................................1 one | Expect a Miracle ...............................................................9 “On the chair in my dressing room was a printed business card that read Expect a Miracle. I wondered out loud, ‘It wasn’t here this morning. Where’d this come from?’” two | The Source of Coincidences ...............................................25 “It is that within us and around us which leads and accompanies us through our individual and collective journeys.” three | Two Wings .....................................................................41 “Although coincidences may sometimes seem to come ‘out of the blue,’ I’ve come to believe we play an essential role in their appearance.” four | Letters from God .............................................................56 “I was about to be given a series of deeply personal coincidences that provided evidence of grace and divine intervention.” ix x Contents five | The Only Way It Could Happen ....................................... 00 “Beth asked a really good question, ‘Is there any way it could happen?’ I daydreamed an inventory of possibility, not knowing that the pieces of the puzzle were waiting to be picked up and put in place.” six | Swept Clean ................................................................... 00 “Coincidence gives and coincidence takes away. Often, it is only in hindsight we see clearly that losses we experienced were beneficial.” seven | An Opening of the Heart ................................................. 00 “The lessons spoke of love and respect, that this course was not a matter of believing something or even agreeing with anything, that its validity would be found in my experience.” eight | Trust Your Experience ..................................................... 00 “I had been handed enough coincidences before meeting my teacher to know that something benevolent and caring was ‘out there.’ She taught me that benevolence was also ‘in here.’” nine | Deep Secrets ....................................................................00 “My exploration into the deep parts of my being was about to yield some amazing and shocking results.” ten | The Uses of Coincidence ................................................... 00 “We come to this life with issues to resolve and release. Just as we are born with genetic factors, we bring psychic and emotional factors. . . .” Contents xi eleven | Listening ........................................................................00 “I asked my heart, What do you need, dear one? I heard the answer inside, I need you to listen more.” twelve | Two Choices .................................................................... 00 “ Years ago I read that there are only two choices, fear and love. At the time, I thought that sounded a little simplistic, but coincidence has shown me otherwise.” Chapter Notes ................................................................................00 Bibliography ..................................................................................00 About the Author ............................................................................00 Foreword W hen Gloria Loring called to invite me to write the foreword to Coincidence Is God’s Way of Remaining Anonymous, I felt it an honor and accepted immediately. In fact, I couldn’t help thinking to myself that the way I met Gloria was undeniably one of those luscious God-intended coincidences she’s written about so eloquently. The roots of this coincidence are far-reaching. It happened one evening while watching television. The host of this show introduced Gloria Loring and she boldly sashayed into the spotlight. At that moment, there was no doubt in my mind she was the incarnation of Venus. The dazzling radiance of her presence emanated through the television in waves of palpable energy. And then she began to sing. What an amazing voice! From that day forward, I was an ardent fan. Moreover, on that day, Gloria imprinted me with a living vision of how a strong, self-confident woman of talent presented herself to the world. I didn’t know how it would happen, but I knew one day I would meet her. Fast forward to Sedona, Arizona 2008. I was there as an author/ guest speaker at a weekend conference. At some point during the xiii xiv Foreword event, I was in the audience listening to another speaker when I caught a glimpse of Gloria sitting not too far away. I couldn’t believe it: Gloria Loring was also lending her talents to the conference where I was speaking! Finally, I was going to be able to meet her. I could hardly contain my enthusiasm. When the moment of our introduction arrived, I remember managing to mumble a few nonsensical words in her direction. Later, during a more lucid conversation, Gloria revealed one of the reasons she’d been looking forward to the conference was because she happened to be a fan of my speaking partner and coauthor, Dannion Brinkley. You can only imagine how thrilled I was with such synchronicity! Gloria closed that program in Sedona to a standing ovation after singing one of my favorite songs, “The Prayer.” In the years since our coincidental meeting, our friendship has blossomed into genuine soul-sisterhood. The deep wisdom, incredible strength, breathtaking talent, and versatility Gloria so naturally possesses are unparalleled. When I read the first draft of this book, I was simply astonished by her gorgeous writing style. It is a style so rich and welcoming it gently drew me into the very heart of her story, where I experienced the joys and challenges right along with her. Gloria has a knack for painting a larger vision of the subtleties and nuances of life in a way that helps us all to understand the brilliance at work behind our human design and destiny. Although there is no way for us to completely understand all the mysteries inherent in life, Gloria teaches that through paying attention to the signs and symbols of intuition and coincidence, and by choosing love over fear, we can more easily navigate the path of higher awareness. Expect a Miracle xv Ultimately this path leads us all through the basic training of our spiritual evolution. Compelled by passion, it is obvious Gloria has graciously poured her soul into this power-packed manual for conscious living. She writes of wanting to be a blessing to those around her; indeed, she is and always has been, by means of using her life as her example. For instance, through her dedication to the practice of meditation, Gloria has discovered the inner serenity that attracts its equivalent in her outer reality. As a result, her serene and steadfast spirit enhances the lives of everyone she loves. She genuinely lives in the knowing that we must give away what we hope to receive, and only by viewing life through the eyes of love can we see with divine accuracy. Once we accomplish this level of clarity, Gloria assures us it is easier to witness the many ways coincidences can be lined with miracles of varying degrees. After reading this enlightening and love-laced autobiographical tome, you too will thank Gloria Loring for this timeless gift, this open-hearted reminder to stay present and pay attention to what life is showering upon us in the guise of miraculous coincidences! For once we learn to expect miracles, we will find them happening all the Days of Our Lives. Kathryn Peters-Brinkley Bestselling author, international lecturer, and publisher of Kinetics magazine Acknowledgments hank you to screenwriting expert Syd Field, whose advice Tabout structure helped me begin, and to Valorie Armstrong for reading some of her beautiful memoir to me, which inspired me to write my own. To Cheri Ingram, my friend and creative partner, for crying through the first reading, and then asking me to write more and not shy away from adding more personal stories. And for her writing the extensive book proposal that garnered Bill Gladstone of Waterside Productions to take me on as a client. His enthusiasm combined with our shared love of coincidence and the realm of spirit brought me to HCI and Allison Janse, my editor. Allison has expanded my sense of what is good and possible with her consistent encouragement and collaborative nature. I am so grateful to have her on my side. Thank you to the authors whose wisdom deepened my understanding of coincidence, especially Craig S. Bell, Phil Cousineau, Rosemary Ellen Guiley, Yitta Halberstam and Judith Leventhal, David Richo, Mark Thurston, and Dan Wakefield. xvii xviii acknowledgments To my readers—Kim Kipers and Lynn Metrik—who found typos and asked good questions. To Cindy Constantin, who listened as I read every chapter aloud so I could feel sure I was saying what I meant. Thanks to Bader Howar for her beautiful photograph, and to graphic artist Lawna Oldfield for creating a strong and elegant cover design. To Tom Estey, who is still as excited about his public relations work and his clients as the day I met him thirty years ago. His friendship has been a gift to me. My heart’s gratitude to René for providing a stable and happy home within which I could take the time to write. To my dear sons and their families: Brennan and Dolly, Robin and Paula, and Nana’s two gorgeous boys—Tyler and Julian—who brighten my life enormously. Introduction e was the talent coordinator for a TV talk show and was Hinterviewing me for an upcoming appearance. I had just told him the story that appears in the first chapter of this book, about the business card printed with the message EXPECT A MIRACLE that mysteriously appeared in my Days of Our Lives dressing room and foreshadowed my raising $1 million for diabetes research. When I remarked that it was an amazing coincidence, he responded “Yes, and coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” Sometimes that’s all it takes to change a life—the right words spoken at the right time. Words that invite reflection, that offer such a deep perspective they become the gift that keeps on giving. The phrase carries the pedigree of Albert Einstein, but it would be a long time before I discovered that he was the source. I first thought of writing this book twenty years ago. I wanted to share the life-changing coincidences that had transformed my life, but I once read in Vanity Fair that you shouldn’t write an autobiography unless you’ve had at least a junior high gym named after you. (My name does appear as an answer to a Trivia question, but 1 I’m not sure what that qualifies me for.) Yet even without the junior high gym attainment, the feeling that I should share these stories wouldn’t go away. Then one day I was standing in the bookstore at the San Francisco airport, thinking about the book I would write . . . someday. As I looked at the rows of bestsellers, I felt a surge of energy run through my body. It was a feeling I had experienced before and had come to recognize as a sign that something was true and real for me, and that I should pay attention. I knew “someday” had come—it was time to sit down, shut up, and start writing. That nudge was twelve years ago, yet the long delay is a good thing. I needed a lot of time to immerse myself in the subject of coincidence and to deepen my understanding of my experiences. The German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said, “To ascribe an intention to chance is a thought which is either the height of absurdity or the depth of profundity.” In discussing coincidence and God, I know I risk sounding absurd at times. It’s a scary business, trying to make sense of what seems beyond reasoning. I’m not a theologian, but I can tell you what’s been given in my life’s lessons. Each of us can stand as a witness to the greater knowledge that is calling to us. There is intention in the power that fills this world of ours. Individual intention is part of it, but there’s more than that. You’ve probably heard the saying, “There are no coincidences.” There are opposing points of view on this subject. The traditional scientific worldview of a mechanical, random universe preaches that matter and events are not organized by any kind of outer or inner force. Yet coincidence contradicts chaos and urges us to look more deeply. I believe this universe and our existence within it are not mere chance occurrences. There is conscious intelligence at work, both within us and around us. Sometimes we tune into it, sometimes we don’t. But in truth, it is as close as the breath that animates the body. When I first wrote down my personal stories, I wondered how I was going to make the lessons in them useful. I had no idea how to explain coincidence or the way it had unfolded in my life. So, in addition to twenty years of spiritual study, I’ve spent the last ten years researching the practical aspects of coincidence. I have been moved and challenged by the depth of what I’ve found. As I began writing, I realized I had staked myself a rather ambitious piece of territory: to write a book that explains how God provides coincidences. The question arose, “Are you crazy?” I wrote it anyway. This book is a thank-you for my life’s gifts; I don’t ever want to forget what has been given. It’s for my sons; I want them to know what a good life it is, in spite of appearing to be otherwise at times. And it’s for you. I hope these stories and the understanding they prompt will be a blessing to you, as they have been to me. It’s been quite a journey getting to the moment when I had a book full of things to say and the courage to say them. I was born in what was called Hell’s Kitchen in New York City. My dad was a trumpet player, my mom a band singer until she got pregnant with me and became a full-time mother and housewife. On a few occasions, a young band singer named Eddie Fisher babysat for me. By the time I was two, we were living on Long Island in a duplex. I attended Elementary School P.S. 205, rode my bike to Flushing Meadows to attend the Saturday matinee and sample the tapioca pudding at the Horn and Hardart Automat, and had my first crush at ten on Rocco Russo, a stylin’ sixth-grader with the look that inspired The Fonz—greased ducktail and black leather jacket. I spent my early years singing in church and school productions, wanting to be special, needing to be heard. We moved to Minneapolis for my junior high years. Minnesota was familiar to me. Every year I could remember, we had flown or driven to Fergus Falls for a month at the family summer cottage. It was a log cabin built by my great- uncles on Lake Ottertail. We had turn-of-the-century amenities: an outhouse, a wood-burning stove, and an icebox for which a block of ice was delivered each week. I loved it. When my cousins and I weren’t playing Canasta, a rummytype card game (I was a terrible loser), my sister Pat and I were allowed to roam anywhere we wanted, whether to the farm across the road to search for kittens in the hayloft or walk barefoot down the dirt road to the one-room country store for a Coke or ice cream. When I was in eighth grade, sometime after my second sister, Peggy, was born, I overheard my parents talking about my dad’s drinking. I absorbed the tension and uncertainty of my surroundings. I learned to survive by pretending nothing was happening. My father’s company, National Cash Register, transferred him to Miami Beach. (My grandmother had convinced him he should have a “real job,” other than as a musician, but he still played in bands on the weekends.) I began attending Miami Beach High School where, at first, I was an outcast. Cliques were just as prevalent then as now and almost everyone in the school was either Jewish or Cuban. I was neither. I made my way by singing in the choir, becoming a soloist, and then added cheerleader to my résumé. During this time, when I was fifteen, my parents got divorced. I soldiered on, putting on my game face in spite of the chaos and anguish at home. By my senior year, I was voted Homecoming Princess and Most Talented, both of which were a surprise to me. I graduated and began singing in local clubs, including one weekend at the Miami Playboy Club. Within months after I turned eighteen, my dad and mom moved to Fresno and San Francisco, respectively. I stayed behind because I had some singing engagements coming up. I arranged to live at my girlfriend’s house, but after six weeks, her mother told me, “Gloria, I think it’s time for you to find a place to live.” I was eighteen years old with very little money and nowhere to live. I called my dad and asked if I could borrow $100, which sounded like a lot of money to me. He said yes. My next singing job was a month away, so I had to make $100 last for four weeks. I went out to try to find a place to live. I did—a much-less- than-elegant motel across from the Piggly Wiggly that cost $20 a week. I had to put quarters in the air conditioner and several times I ran out of quarters at 2 am in the summer in Miami. Before I melted, I had to get dressed, go across to the Piggly Wiggly, and get more quarters. I had about $5 a week to spend on food. I bought a pound of hamburger, a quart of milk, a can of peas, and a box of cereal, and prayed someone would take me out for lunch or dinner. After two weeks, I could see that I was going to run out of money before the month was finished. A girlfriend told me about a job for two nights that would earn me some money, and I said sure, thinking it was a singing job. It wasn’t. For two nights, I was a go-go girl. I wore a white, short, fringed dress and little white boots, and I danced . . . in a cage. (No, this information is not in my Facebook profile.) But that extra money helped me make it through the month. An agent who saw me at one of my local gigs started booking me beyond Miami. Back then, there was an active nightclub circuit, and, music in hand, I went on the road by myself, touring small towns all over America. (This prompted my Lutheran grandmother to ask, “Why do you have to sing in saloons?”) After two years of saloon singing, I was on television—an ambitious newcomer with long blond hair, good teeth, and a good jawline who’d landed a yearlong contract on The Merv Griffin Show. My first trip to Las Vegas was as part of Merv’s Vegas show with Merv, Arthur Treacher, comedian Marty Brill, and, gulp, Gloria Loring. What a thrill to see my name on the Riviera Hotel billboard. Singing on Merv’s TV show every two weeks led to hundreds of variety television appearances (Carol Burnett, Dean Martin, Ed Sullivan), three record albums, and a trip with Bob Hope’s USO show to Vietnam with Ursula Andress, Johnny Bench, Lola Falana, the Golddiggers, and Les Brown and his Band of Renown. These successes elevated me to Vegas co-star status with Danny Thomas, Red Skelton, and Rich Little. It was an incredibly exciting time I sort of whirled through. While appearing in Toronto at the Royal York Hotel I met a Canadian comedy writer named Alan. Seven months later, we were married and I became Gloria Loring Thicke. (Or as it appeared on my initialed bath towels, GLT—perfect for the girl who constantly worried she had done something wrong.) We set up housekeeping in Los Angeles and four years after that, twenty-two hours of labor resulted in a son, Brennan. Then two years after that, a second son, Robin. I stumbled along, not sure how best to be a mother or a wife. Underneath my anxious perfectionism was the fear that I would let someone down or make someone mad. I lived my life from the outside in: I watched to see what others wanted me