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The right of Jackie Arnold to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. © 2009 Jackie Arnold First published in electronic form 2009 British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN 978 1 84803 368 9 Produced for How To Books by Deer Park Productions, Tavistock, Devon. Typeset by PDQ Typesetting, Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffs. NOTE: The material contained in this book is set out in good faith for general guidance and no liability can be accepted for loss or expense incurred as a result of relying in particular circumstances on statements made in the book. Laws and regulations are complex and liable to change, and readers should check the current position with the relevant authorities before making personal arrangements. Contents List of figures and tables ix Acknowledgements xi Introduction xiii 1 What is coaching? 1 External coaching 1 Internal coaching 2 Mentoring 2 Counselling/therapy 3 Teaching and training 4 Consultants 4 Why is coaching so valuable? 5 The benefits of coaching: some examples 8 2 Becoming an effective leader and coach 11 What makes a good leader? 11 Giving permission 12 What is the intention? 13 Being a role model 13 Sharing leadership 14 Recognising individual needs 15 What makes an outstanding leader? 16 Managers/coaches 16 3 Internal and external coaching 18 Creating a partnership of equals 19 Finding solutions 20 Avoiding the pitfalls of internal coaching 23 4 The differences between coaching and mentoring 28 Distinguishing between coaching and mentoring 28 Knowing when to coach and when to mentor 29 Coaching ‘on the spot’ 31 v vi Contents Coaching is a two-way process 32 Establishing the differences between coaching and mentoring 32 5 Establishing the right climate 34 Well organised and confidential 35 Being non-judgemental 35 Ensuring objectivity 37 Remaining respectful 37 Being challenging 37 Ensuring manageability 39 Time-bound 39 Quiet and uninterrupted 40 Focusing on your coachee’s best interests 40 Operating within legal and ethical parameters 41 Being truthful and having integrity 42 Building trust 43 Promoting self-awareness 43 6 Coaching models 45 Developing people skills 45 The GROW model 46 Asking open questions 47 The ERR model 48 Situation + Thoughts + Space + Reactions = Result 51 The Johari window 52 Learning experientially 53 7 Coaching tools and exercises 55 The prep form 55 Identifying your values 55 The wheel 56 Getting to the heart of limiting beliefs 59 Confronting the energy-drainers 61 The SDOC tool 62 Increasing confidence and self-esteem 65 Visualising 66 Making decisions 67 The two possibilities 67 Neuro-linguistic programming 68 Employing psychometric tools 72 Using clean language 73 Contents vii Employing alternative methods to coaching 77 8 Effective communication skills 82 Creating a good coaching relationship 82 Using appropriate language 85 Listening at a deep level 86 Asking effective questions 88 Limiting beliefs/assumptions 91 Giving effective feedback 92 Communicating non-verbally 95 Presence and silence 99 9 Analysing communication to identify meaning 102 Avoiding misunderstandings 102 Uncovering the truth 103 Stating your truth 108 Using body language 108 Looking at things from a different perspective 109 10 Respecting others’ worldviews and motivating your coachees 111 Being respectful 111 Accepting differences 113 Motivating your coachees 114 Appreciative inquiry 115 11 Overcoming barriers to coaching and mentoring 118 Individual barriers 118 Organisational barriers 126 The coach’s own barriers 131 12 Understanding the role of power and authority 133 Avoiding being autocratic 133 Bringing energy to a session 133 Increasing your awareness of your own behaviour 134 Establishing the boundaries 135 Allowing space for ideas to come out 136 viii Contents 13 Setting up the first session 137 Preparing your coachees 137 Confronting poor behaviour 140 Tone of voice and inflection 142 14 Presenting a business case for coaching 144 Establishing the outcomes and objectives 145 Running a pilot programme 145 A model for presenting a business case 146 Evaluating the effectiveness of a coaching programme 149 Implementing a coaching programme: a case study 150 15 Coaching supervision and super-vision 153 Super-vising 153 The SUSTAIN model 156 The circle model 157 Self-super-vision 159 Developing your own internal super-visor 160 16 Co-coaching and team coaching 163 Co-coaching 163 Team or group coaching 164 Co-coaching and team coaching: exercises 165 17 Organisational approaches to coaching 170 Centralised and structured 170 Organic and emergent 173 Tailored middle ground 175 Appendix 1: Sample forms and competences 177 Appendix 2: Controlling costs 191 Appendix 3: Case studies and evidence to support the value of coaching 197 Useful resources 219 Index 221 List of figures and tables Figures 1. Coaching as support 5 2. The ERR model 49 3. The Johari window 52 4. An experiential learning circle 53 5. Values 57 6. A job performance wheel 58 7. A leader’s wheel 59 8. Energy running out of the cup 62 9. The SDOC tool 63 10. Preparing a business case 146 11. The circle model 158 Table 1. The differences between coaching and mentoring 29 ix