Luther Seminary Digital Commons @ Luther Seminary Doctor of Ministry Theses Student Theses 2017 Walk Me to the Gate: Christian Practices of Accompaniment with People Who Are Dying and Their Families Yolanda Kali Denson-Byers Luther Seminary Follow this and additional works at:http://digitalcommons.luthersem.edu/dmin_theses Part of theChristianity Commons, and thePractical Theology Commons Recommended Citation Denson-Byers, Yolanda Kali, "Walk Me to the Gate: Christian Practices of Accompaniment with People Who Are Dying and Their Families" (2017).Doctor of Ministry Theses. 21. http://digitalcommons.luthersem.edu/dmin_theses/21 This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Theses at Digital Commons @ Luther Seminary. It has been accepted for inclusion in Doctor of Ministry Theses by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ Luther Seminary. For more information, please contact [email protected]. WALK ME TO THE GATE: CHRISTIAN PRACTICES OF ACCOMPANIMENT WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE DYING AND THEIR FAMILIES by REV. YOLANDA KALI DENSON-BYERS A Thesis Submitted to the Faculty of Luther Seminary In Partial Fulfillment of The Requirements for the Degree of DOCTOR OF MINISTRY ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA 2017 © 2017 by Yolanda Kali Denson-Byers All rights reserved ABSTRACT Walk Me to the Gate: Christian Practices of Accompaniment with People who are Dying and their Families by Yolanda Kali Denson-Byers This mixed-methods concurrent triangulation research project asks, “What practices should we incorporate into the hospice ministry of Fellowship Lutheran Church in order to help dying people and their families experience a peaceful death with love?” Utilizing two focus groups, four interviews, and a congregational census, this project finds that research participants are terrorized by death and are hungry for hospice and bereavement ministries provided by their community of faith. This exploratory project illuminates the specific practices which missional congregations may utilize to empower the priesthood of all believers to create a beloved community which points to the hope of resurrection. ii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I give thanks to God the Creator, Savior, and Sustainer of all the cosmos without whom this project would not be possible. I give God thanks for my partner, Natasha, and children, Jetta, Janeel, Imani, and Erik, for their undying support, patience and encouragement. I honor the life and legacy of Susan, the first of my ancestors brought to the United States as a kidnapped person used as slave labor. I honor every ancestor that chose life in the United States when death would have been a blessed relief. I give thanks to God for my parents, the Rev. Dr. Rosalind P. Denson, Howard and Vickie Denson, and for my village: Christopher and Sampada Lehman, Adrienne and Kimberly Denson, Brandon, Adris, Meghan, Tim, Bill, Chip, Tip, Daddy Byers, and Mama Moon. I thank God for Luther Seminary and the many professors who sowed good seed into me there. I am also thankful to the staff people in the GTE Office, Library, and Writing Center who were so instrumental in bringing this research to fruition. I thank God for Tanya Robinson, who voluntarily transcribed my focus groups and interviews. She will never know how much her love and support has meant to me since college. I also give thanks for LJ Barry who edited the final version of my thesis before defense. iii I am also thankful for the good people at the Unity Prayer Line and Granite City Counseling and Massage who kept me from losing my mind. I am also grateful to the staff of the St. Cloud State University’s Statistical Consulting and Research Center who helped with the interpretation of my quantitative data. I give thanks to God for the many pastors who affirmed and supported my life and ministry along the way in the persons of Pastors Bobo, Harvill, and Lewis, and Bishops Walker, Williams, and Holmes. I honor my current bishop, the Rev. Jon Anderson, and the entire synod staff of the Southwestern Minnesota Synod of the ELCA. I am thankful for the support of St. Croix Hospice during the duration of my research and especially to my direct supervisor, Jared Anderson, and the team in the Sartell office. I give thanks for my cohort in the CML program. I cannot thank you enough for all of the ways in which you journeyed with me over the last five years, prayed for me, and offered words of encouragement and support when they were most needed. I give God thanks for the wonderful people of Fellowship Lutheran Church. I wish to specifically thank my Journey Group partners, participants in focus groups and interviews, as well as the pastors and professional staff who supported my curiosity, research, and work. Finally, I dedicate this work in memory of the Rev. Dr. John A. Kroschel whose life and legacy inspires me every day and in every way to do my best to share the love and grace of Jesus Christ with everyone I meet. I will never forget you, my friend. I will see you in the morning … iv TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT ........................................................................................................................ ii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ................................................................................................. iii LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS ............................................................................................. ix 1. SOON AND VERY SOON WE ARE GOIN’ TO SEE THE KING ............................1 Introduction ...........................................................................................................1 Research Question .................................................................................................3 Independent Variable .....................................................................................3 Dependent Variable ........................................................................................4 Intervening Variables .....................................................................................4 Importance of the Research Question ....................................................................5 Importance to Me ...........................................................................................5 Importance to My Congregation ....................................................................5 Importance to the Larger Church ...................................................................6 Additional Questions ......................................................................................8 Theoretical Lenses .................................................................................................9 Terror Management Theory .........................................................................10 Bereavement Theory ....................................................................................11 Thanatology Theory .....................................................................................13 Biblical and Theological Lenses .........................................................................14 Biblical Lenses .............................................................................................15 The Good Samaritan .............................................................................15 The Beautiful Gate ................................................................................15 You Did It unto Me ...............................................................................16 A New Heaven and Earth ......................................................................16 Theological Lenses .......................................................................................17 Death .....................................................................................................17 Priesthood of All Believers ...................................................................18 Beloved Community .............................................................................18 Resurrection ..........................................................................................19 Research Methodology ........................................................................................20 Research Design ...........................................................................................21 Other Matters .......................................................................................................23 Definition of Key Terms ..............................................................................23 Ethical Considerations ..................................................................................24 Significance of the Study .....................................................................................27 2. PRECIOUS LORD, TAKE MY HAND ......................................................................29 v Theoretical Lenses ...............................................................................................29 Terror Management Theory .........................................................................30 Bereavement Theory ....................................................................................38 Thanatology Theory .....................................................................................47 Summary ..............................................................................................................53 3. LORD, I WANT TO BE A CHRISTIAN ....................................................................55 Biblical and Theological Lenses .........................................................................55 Biblical Lenses .............................................................................................56 The Good Samaritan .............................................................................56 The Beautiful Gate ................................................................................61 You Did It unto Me ...............................................................................65 A New Heaven and Earth ......................................................................70 Theological Lenses .......................................................................................74 Death .....................................................................................................74 Priesthood of All Believers ...................................................................78 Beloved Community .............................................................................81 Resurrection ..........................................................................................85 Summary ..............................................................................................................90 4. I NEED YOU TO SURVIVE ......................................................................................92 Research Methodology ........................................................................................92 Biblical and Theological Rationale for Research Methodology ..................93 Research Design ..................................................................................................96 Focus Groups ................................................................................................98 Interviews ...................................................................................................102 Congregational Survey ...............................................................................103 Analysis ......................................................................................................106 Summary ............................................................................................................107 5. WERE YOU THERE? ...............................................................................................109 Introduction .......................................................................................................109 Qualitative Results .............................................................................................109 Interpretation of the Focus Groups and Interview Data .............................109 Focus Groups and Interview Findings .......................................................111 Opportunities for Growth ...........................................................................115 Focus Group and Interview Theoretical Codes in Conversation: Influence within the Existing System .........................................................................120 Interpretation of the Open Ended Questionnaire Responses ......................122 Open-Ended Survey Questions: Theoretical Codes in Conversation within the Existing System ....................................................................................127 Summary ....................................................................................................129 Quantitative Results ...........................................................................................130 General Findings ........................................................................................134 vi Gender ........................................................................................................144 Age .............................................................................................................151 Education ....................................................................................................161 Income ........................................................................................................168 Summary ............................................................................................................173 Triangulation of Data and Conclusion ..............................................................174 6. WE’LL UNDERSTAND IT BETTER BY AND BY ...............................................177 Research Findings .............................................................................................177 Summary ............................................................................................................182 Findings in Conversation with Theoretical Lenses ....................................185 Terror Management Theory ................................................................185 Bereavement Theory ...........................................................................186 Thanatology Theory ............................................................................187 Findings in Conversation with Biblical Lenses ..........................................188 The Good Samaritan ...........................................................................188 The Beautiful Gate ..............................................................................189 You Did It unto Me .............................................................................190 A New Heaven and Earth ....................................................................191 Findings in Conversation with Theological Lenses ...................................192 Death ...................................................................................................192 Priesthood of all Believers ..................................................................193 Beloved Community ...........................................................................194 Resurrection ........................................................................................194 Generalizability .................................................................................................195 Limitations of Design and Research ..........................................................196 Questions for Future Research ..........................................................................196 Unintentional Consequences ......................................................................198 APPENDIX A ..................................................................................................................204 APPENDIX B ..................................................................................................................205 APPENDIX C ..................................................................................................................206 Survey: Walk Me to the Gate: Christian Practices of Accompaniment to the Dying and Their Families (Survey January 2016) .....................................206 APPENDIX D ..................................................................................................................215 APPENDIX E ..................................................................................................................218 APPENDIX F...................................................................................................................219 APPENDIX G ..................................................................................................................220 vii 7. BIBLIOGRAPHY ......................................................................................................223 viii