The Project Gutenberg EBook of Chains, by Elizabeth Baker This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: Chains A Play, in Four Acts Author: Elizabeth Baker Release Date: July 10, 2014 [EBook #46240] Language: English Character set encoding: UTF-8 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHAINS *** Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made available by the Internet Archive and the University of Toronto Libraries. CHAINS ACT I. Sitting-room at 55 Acacia Avenue ACT II. Sitting-room at 55 Acacia Avenue ACT III. The sitting-room at “Sunnybank,” Hammersmith. ACT IV. Sitting-room at 55 Acacia Avenue Transcriber’s Note CHAINS A Play, IN FOUR ACTS BY ELIZABETH BAKER LONDON: SIDGWICK & JACKSON, LTD. 3 ADAM STREET, ADELPHI. MCMXI. CHAINS ACT I SCENE: Sitting-room at 55 Acacia Avenue. The principal articles of furniture are the centre table, set for dinner for three, and a sideboard on the right. There are folding doors at the back, leading to the front room, partly hidden by curtains; on the left a low French window leading into the garden. On the right is a fire burning; and above it a door into the kitchen. The furniture of the room is a little mixed in style. A wicker armchair is on one side of the fireplace, a folding carpet-chair on the other. The other chairs, three at the table and two against the walls, are of bent wood. The sideboard is mahogany. The carpet- square over oilcloth is of an indeterminate pattern in subdued colours, dull crimson predominating. Lace curtains at window. Family photographs, a wedding group and a cricket group, and a big lithograph copy of a Marcus Stone picture, are on the walls. There is a brass alarm clock on the mantelpiece and one or two ornaments. A sewing- machine stands on a small table near the window; and on the edge of this table and on the small table on the other side of the window are pots of cuttings. A couple of bookshelves hang over the machine. A small vase of flowers stands in the centre of the dinner table. LILY WILSON, much worried, is laying the centre table. She is a pretty, slight woman, obviously young, wearing a light cotton blouse, dark skirt and big pinafore. The front door is heard to close. CHARLEY WILSON enters. He is an ordinary specimen of the city clerk, dressed in correct frock-coat, dark trousers, carefully creased, much cuff and a high collar. LILY. Here you are, then. [She puts up her face and they kiss hurriedly.] Did I hear Mr. Tennant with you? CHAR. Met on the step. LILY. How funny! Well, that’s nice. We can have dinner almost directly. CHAR. [putting down his hat carefully on sideboard, and stretching himself slowly, with evident enjoyment.] Saturday, thank the Lord! LILY. [laughing prettily.] Poor thing! CHAR. [looking at his silk hat.] I should like to pitch the beastly thing into the river. [He shakes his fist at it. Then he stretches his neck as if to lift it out of the collar and shaking down his cuffs till he can get a fine view of them, regards them meditatively.] Pah! LILY. [anxiously.] What’s the matter with them? Are they scorched? [Pg 1] [Pg 2] CHAR. Scorched! No, they’re white enough. Beastly uniform! LILY. But you must wear cuffs, dear. CHAR. A chap came to the office to-day in a red tie. Old Raffles had him up, and pitched into him. Asked him if he was a Socialist. Chap said he wasn’t, but liked red. “So do I,” says the Boss, “but I don’t wear a golf coat in the city!” Thought he was awfully smart, and it did make Poppy swear. LILY. Who’s Poppy, dear? CHAR. Popperwell. He almost left there and then. Said he should wear whatever tie he liked. LILY. It would have been rather silly of him, wouldn’t it? He’s so sure there. CHAR. That’s what he said. He thought better of it and swallowed it. Well—dinner ready? LILY. Waiting. CHAR. [going out.] I’ll be down in a jiffy. LILY goes to the fire. TENNANT heard outside whistling a bar of the song “Off to Philadelphia.” He comes in. He is a broad-shouldered young fellow, a little shy in his manner with women. TENNANT. Nice day, Mrs. Wilson. LILY. Beautiful. TENNANT. I’ve brought you home the paper, if you’d like it. It’s the “Daily Mirror.” LILY. Oh, thank you. I do like the pictures. Charley is getting so dreadfully serious now in his reading, and won’t buy it. He takes the “Daily Telegraph.” He thinks the gardening notes are so good. TENNANT. He’s luxurious. It’s a penny. LILY. Oh, he shares it with somebody. [Pause.] TENNANT. How goes the garden? LILY. It’s rather trying—I should like to give up those peas and things, and have chickens. They would be so useful. LILY goes out. TENNANT takes a map out of his pocket and stands studying it. CHARLEY and LILY enter together. CHARLEY has made a wonderful change into a loose, rather creased suit of bright brown, flannel shirt with soft collar, flowing tie and old slippers. A pipe is sticking out of one pocket, and a newspaper out of the other. They sit down, and LILY tries not to look worried as CHARLEY laboriously cuts the small joint which she has brought in with her and put before him. He splashes the gravy a little and has to use the sharpener. LILY serves vegetables. CHAR. I think I shall get one of Robertson’s pups. LILY. It would be lovely. CHAR. He’s got one he’ll let me have cheap. TENNANT. I saw them last night. They’re a good breed. Make fine house-dogs. CHAR. That’s what you want round here. A quiet neighbourhood like this is A 1 for burglars. LILY. You don’t think we shall have any, do you? CHAR. No. 24 had ’em the other night. TENNANT. What were they after? LILY. 24? That’s the new people. What a shame! CHAR. Wanted the wedding presents. LILY. And Mrs. Thompson told me they had real silver at 24. CHAR. Trust the burglars for knowing that. They won’t risk their skins for electro. So we shan’t have ’em. LILY. Charley! You forget the biscuit barrel and the tray. TENNANT. Where’s the Bobby? LILY. There’s only one about here. [Pg 3] [Pg 4] CHAR. They don’t have Bobbies for burgles in these sort of places, only for rows. And we don’t have rows. We’re too respectable. LILY. I think it’s so mean of burglars to come to people like us. CHAR. [with a burst of laughter.] Let ’em go to Portman Square, you say? LILY. Well, of course, it’s wrong to steal at all; but it doesn’t seem quite so bad. [She stops, a little confused.] TENNANT. Of course it isn’t. CHAR. [lying back comfortably in his chair.] Going away Sunday? TENNANT. No—the fact is— LILY. Maggie is coming round this afternoon. Shall we ask the Leslies for whist to-night? CHAR. All right. Don’t make it too early, though. [Looking out of the French windows into the garden.] I’ve got to get in my peas. TENNANT. Green peas? CHAR. Green peas in that patch? My dear chap, don’t I wish I could! LILY. [to TENNANT.] Have some more? TENNANT. No, thanks. CHAR. For one thing, there’s the soil! It’s rotten. Then there’re the sparrows. . . . LILY. Some of them are so tame, dear, and they don’t seem to care a bit for the cat next door. CHAR. [bitterly.] They don’t care for anything. I wish they’d take a fancy to a few snails. LILY. They don’t eat snails. CHAR. You spoil ’em. She gives ’em soaked bread all through the winter, and then expects me to grow things. Lord! LILY collects plates. TENNANT goes out. CHARLEY lights pipe. CHARLEY goes to window, where he stands leaning against the post and smoking. LILY. The baby across the road is such a darling, Charley. CHAR. Is it? LILY. The girl was out with it this morning, and I called her over. CHAR. What is it? LILY. It’s a boy. CHARLEY’S replies are without interest and he continues to gaze out into garden. They’re going to call him Theodore Clement Freeman. It’s rather a lot, isn’t it? CHAR. What’s he got it all for? LILY. After her father and his father and Freeman is a family name. CHAR. What did they want to give ’em all to him for? They should keep some for the next. LILY. Charley! CHAR. It’s silly. Still, it’s their business. LILY. It might be a girl. CHAR. Well—there’s the others. LILY. Charley! CHAR. My dear girl, why not? LILY. I don’t like you to speak like that. CHAR. I— [Stops suddenly, looks at her, and comes over. He takes her face between his hands.] You silly! [Kisses her.] LILY goes out with a tray of things singing. CHARLEY rolls up his sleeves and goes into the garden. [Pg 5] [Pg 6] TENNANT comes in and looks round. CHARLEY comes to the window with a spade. TENNANT. You—er—busy? CHAR. [lighting his pipe.] Um! Want a job? There’s a nice little lot of squirming devils under that flower-pot that want killing. Take your time over it. TENNANT. Thanks. My fancy doesn’t lie in gardening. CHAR. Filthy soil, this. TENNANT. Mrs. Wilson would like to keep chickens. CHAR. Not if I know it! I’d rather go into a flat. [Leaning against the door and smoking thoughtfully.] I could chuck the lot sometimes. These two-penny-halfpenny back yards make me sick. Pause. I’d give something for a piece of good land. Something to pay you for your labour. [Rousing.] Well— going out? TENNANT. [uneasily.] Yes—presently. CHAR. [turning to look at him.] What’s up? TENNANT. I’ve—er—got some news for you. CHAR. Anything wrong? TENNANT. No—no! The fact is—I’m going to hook it. CHAR. [astonished.] Hook it? Where to? TENNANT. I’m sick of the whole show. I can’t stand it any longer. CHAR. [trying to realise the situation.] Do you mean you’ve left Molesey’s? TENNANT. Yes. I’m going to leave England—and so, you see, I’ve got to leave here—your place. CHAR. Leave England? Got a crib? TENNANT. No, nothing. CHAR. What are you going for then? TENNANT. Because I’m sick of it. CHAR. So am I, and so are others. Do you mean you are just going out because you want a change? TENNANT. That’s about it. I’ve had enough of grind. CHAR. Well, perhaps you’ll get grind somewhere else. TENNANT. It’ll be a change of grind then. That’s something. CHAR. Canada? TENNANT. No, Australia. CHAR. Phew! That’s a long shot. Got any friends there? TENNANT. No. CHAR. It’s a bit risky, isn’t it? TENNANT. Of course it’s risky. But who wouldn’t have a little risk instead of that beastly hole every day for years? Scratch, scratch, scratch, and nothing in the end, mind you? CHAR. [ironically.] You might become a junior partner. TENNANT. [ignoring the remark.] Suppose I stay there. They’ll raise the screw every year till I get what they think is enough for me. Then you just stick. I suppose I should marry and have a little house somewhere, and grind on. CHAR. [looking round.] Like me. LILY heard singing off R. TENNANT. No offence, old chap. It’s all right for some. It suits you. You’re used to it. I want to [Pg 7] [Pg 8] see things a bit before I settle. CHARLEY is silent. His pipe has gone out and he is staring at the floor. So I thought I’d go the whole plunge. I’ve got a little cash, of course, so I shan’t starve at first, anyhow. CHARLEY makes no remark. TENNANT becomes apologetic. I’m—I feel a bit of a beast—but the fact is—I—it was decided in a hurry—I—er— CHARLEY looks up. I’m going on Monday. CHAR. On Monday! Why, that’s the day after tomorrow. TENNANT. Yes, I know. It was like this. I heard of a man who’s going Monday—a man I know —and it came over me all at once, why shouldn’t I go too? I went to see him Friday—kept it dark here till I’d seen the guv’nor, and now it’s all fixed. I’m awfully sorry to have played you like this— CHAR. Oh, rot! That’s nothing. But I say, it’s the rummest go I ever heard of. What did Molesey say? TENNANT. Slapped me on the back! What d’ye think of that? I thought he’d call me a fool. He pointed out that I could stay there for ever, if I liked—which was jolly decent of him—but when I said I’d rather not, thanks muchly, he banged me on the back, and said he wished he could do the same and cut the office. He didn’t even stop the money for notice. CHAR. Did he give you a £5 note? TENNANT. [laughing.] You don’t want much. The old chap was quite excited, asked me to write —how’s that? Pause. [Rising.] The thing is—I can’t see why I didn’t go before. Why did I ever go into the beastly office? There was nobody to stop me going to Timbuctoo, if I liked. I say, will you tell Mrs. Wilson? CHAR. She’s only in the kitchen. Lil!—Lil! [Shouting.] LILY. [from outside.] Yes, dear. CHAR. Come here! Here’s news. LILY enters, wiping her hands on her pinafore and smiling. LILY. Yes? CHAR. [waving his pipe towards TENNANT.] What d’ye think he’s going to do? LILY. [studying TENNANT seriously.] Do? How— TENNANT. [nervously.] I—I’m going to leave you, Mrs. Wilson. LILY. To leave us? [With enlightenment.] You’re going to be married! TENNANT. Good Heavens, no! Not that! CHAR. Whatever made you think of that? LILY. What else could he do? TENNANT. I’m going abroad. Going over to garden door. CHAR. He’s going to seek his fortune. Lucky dog! LILY. Have you got a good appointment, Mr. Tennant? TENNANT. No, nothing. I’m going on the chance. LILY. Whatever for? Didn’t you like Molesey’s? TENNANT. Oh, they were good enough and all that, but I got sick of the desk. I’m going farming. LILY. And throwing up a good situation? TENNANT. I suppose you’d call it good. [Pg 9] [Pg 10] LILY. It was so sure. You’d have been head clerk in time. I’m sure you would. It does seem such a pity. TENNANT. Sounds a bit foolish, I expect. LILY. Of course you must get tired of it sometimes. But to throw it up altogether! I do hope you won’t be sorry for it. Charley gets tired of it sometimes—don’t you, dear? CHAR. [from the garden door.] Just a bit—now and then. LILY. Everybody does I expect. It would be very nice, of course, to see other places and all that —but you can always travel in your holidays. CHAR. How far on the Continong can you go in a fortnight, Lil? TENNANT. I don’t think you quite understand. It isn’t so much that I want to see things—though that’d be jolly—but I want a change of work. LILY. [sympathetically.] It is trying to do the same thing over and over again. But then the hours are not so very long, are they? CHAR. Nine to six, with an hour for lunch and tea thrown in. Count your many blessings, Freddy. LILY. [reproachfully, and crossing to him. ] You know, Charley, we’ve often talked it over, and you’ve said how regular the hours were. CHAR. So they are. CHARLEY disappears for a moment into garden, but is now and again to be seen outside the door with a flower-pot or some other thing for the garden. LILY. And you have the evenings, and they give you Saturday morning at Molesey’s as you get on, don’t they? TENNANT. Yes, it’s all true, Mrs. Wilson—but I can’t stand it. Anybody can have the job. CHAR. It’s the spring, Freddy. That’s the matter with you. LILY. I do hope you won’t be sorry for it. It would be so dreadful if you failed, after giving up such a good situation. Of course we are very sorry to lose you, Mr. Tennant—you have been so kind. TENNANT. [hastily and with much embarrassment.] Oh, please don’t. LILY. And we have always got on so very well together. I’m sure it will be very difficult to get anyone to suit us so well again. But you won’t forget us and if we have your address, we can write sometimes— CHAR. And if anything striking occurs, I’ll send a cable. The novelty will be worth it. [Coming just inside the door with the spade in his hand.] For the rest, I’ll describe one day and you can tick it off for the whole lot of the others. Rise at 7, breakfast; catch the 8.30, City— The door-bell is heard. Who on earth—! He goes into the garden. LILY. Maggie, I expect. She goes out. TENNANT, after making a step towards the garden, turns to the door, only to meet MAGGIE MASSEY and LILY. MAGGIE is of medium height, well- proportioned, good-looking without being pretty. MAGGIE. [shaking hands with TENNANT.] How do you do? LILY. What do you think, Maggie? Mr. Tennant is going to leave us. Guess what for! MAGGIE. He’s going to be married? CHAR. Good Lord! There’s another. MAGGIE. Hullo, Charles, you there! LILY. He’s going to leave England. MAGGIE. How nice for him! [Pg 11] [Pg 12] LILY. [emphatically.] Nice! But he’s got nothing to do there! MAGGIE. [to TENNANT.] Are you going to emigrate? TENNANT. Yes; I’m going to Australia to try my luck. CHAR. Isn’t he an idiot? MAGGIE. Do you think so? CHAR. Throwing up a nice snug little place at Molesey’s and rushing himself on to the already overstocked labour market of the Colonies. MAGGIE. You are really going on your luck? TENNANT. Yes. MAGGIE. How fine! LILY. Maggie! Think of the risk! MAGGIE. He’s a man. It doesn’t matter. LILY. If he’d been out of work, it would have been so very different. MAGGIE. That would have spoilt the whole thing. I admire his pluck. LILY. Well, he’s got no one depending on him, so he will suffer alone. MAGGIE. You’re not very encouraging, Lil. I have heard of a married man doing the same. CHAR. [quickly.] Who was that? LILY. How very foolish! MAGGIE. Oh, he was already out of work. LILY. That is different—although even then— MAGGIE. His wife went to live with her people again and he went out to the Colonies and made a home for her. LILY. [sceptically.] How did he do that? MAGGIE. I don’t know. You are quite free to do as you like, aren’t you, Mr. Tennant? How does that feel? TENNANT. I have only just started to think about it. Directly the idea came into my head, off I had to go. CHARLEY, who has stood listening, turns slowly and walks away. MAGGIE. You are lucky to have found it out in time. TENNANT. In time? MAGGIE. Before you got too old to do anything. Pause. CHAR. [near the garden window but outside.] Climb on to the dustbin, only mind the lid’s on tight. TENNANT. That’s Leslie coming over. I’ll go. [goes.] Enter from the garden MORTON LESLIE, a big fair man, clean-shaven, lazy and good-natured. CHARLEY follows. LESLIE. I nearly smashed your husband, Mrs. Wilson . . . Good day, Miss Maggie—and I’m sure I’ve absolutely killed Mr. Wilson’s beans. CHAR. If you don’t the birds will—and if they don’t the worms will—and—how can you expect anything to grow in that garden? LESLIE. I thought it was such an excellent Small Holding! What about the carrots? CHAR. Pah! Carrots! Why not peaches? Come on, Leslie! I’ve got the papers in the other room. CHARLEY lifts the curtain and they go into front room. LILY. I’m afraid Charley must be tired. He seems quite irritable. [Pg 13] MAGGIE. So am I when I get home from business. [Throwing out her arms and smiling at LILY.] No more shop for me in a month or two, Lil. LILY. [excitedly.] You’re going to marry Mr. Foster? MAGGIE nods. Oh, how lovely! How nice for you, dear! I am so glad. What did mother say? MAGGIE. [with a little laugh.] Mother is charmed. LILY. Everybody is, of course. He is such a nice man. He will spoil you, Maggie. You lucky girl! MAGGIE. Yes, I suppose I am. LILY. You don’t like to show it, of course, dear. MAGGIE. Don’t I? You should have seen me last night! I took off my shop collar and apron and put them on the floor and danced on them—till mother came to see what was the matter. LILY. You must be fond of him, dear. MAGGIE. No, I’m not, particularly. LILY. Maggie! MAGGIE. [walking up and down.] That’s funny now. I didn’t mean to say that. It just came. [A pause.] How queer! [A pause.] Well, it’s the truth, anyway. At least, it’s not quite true. When I came here to-day I was awfully happy about it—I am fond of him at least—I—well—he’s very nice—you know. [Irritably.] What did you want to start this for, Lil? LILY. [aggrieved.] I start it? I did nothing. MAGGIE. I was so satisfied when I came. LILY. [soothingly and taking her sister’s hat and coat from her. ] You’re a little tired, dear. We’ll have an early cup of tea. Have you got your ring, dear? MAGGIE holds out her left hand. How sweet! Sapphires! He must be rich, Maggie. Pause. MAGGIE. I wish I was a good housekeeper, Lil. LILY. [reassuring.] Oh, you’ll soon learn, dear; and his other housekeeper wasn’t very good. MAGGIE. I wasn’t thinking of that. LILY. But you talked of housekeeping, dear. MAGGIE. Yes, but that’s quite different from being married. If I could cook decently, I would have left the shop before. LILY. But you are going to leave the shop! MAGGIE. [unheeding.] Or if I understood anything about the house properly, but I couldn’t be even a mother’s help unless I could wash. LILY. I don’t know what you mean, Maggie. You haven’t got to wash. You know Mr. Foster can afford to send it all out. [Sighing enviously.] That must be nice. MAGGIE. I heard of a girl the other day, Fanny White—you know her—she’s gone to Canada. LILY. Canada! Who’s talking about Canada? What’s that to do—? MAGGIE. I was envious. She used to be with us at the shop. LILY. [impatiently.] Yes, I know. Well, you’ve done better than she, anyway, Maggie, if she is going to Canada. She’ll only be a servant, after all. What else can she do? And then in the end she’ll marry some farmer man and have to work fearfully hard—I’ve heard about the women over there— and wish she had never left England. While here are you, going to marry a rich man who’s devoted to you, with plenty of money and long holidays, and your own servant to begin with! Really, Maggie—! MAGGIE. [stretching a little and smiling.] Isn’t it gorgeous? [shaking herself.] Well—it must be Mr. Tennant’s fault. He shouldn’t get mad ideas into his head— LILY. And he really is mad. Throwing up a most excellent situation. My dear, I call him just stupid! [Pg 14] [Pg 15] CHARLEY. [lifting the curtain and coming forward with LESLIE.] There’s no hurry. LESLIE. Oh, I’ll start on it to-night. My wife’s gone away and left me for the day, and I’m a forsaken grass widower. LILY. [laughing.] Poor Mr. Leslie! Won’t you come in here to-night? Don’t you think it would be very nice, Charley, as Mr. Tennant is going so soon— LESLIE. Tennant? Where’s he going? MAGGIE. You’ll never guess. LESLIE. He’s leaving you? He’s going to get married? CHAR. [impatiently.] You’re as bad as a woman! MAGGIE. I thought you more brilliant, Mr. Leslie. LESLIE. I thought of the happiest thing that could happen to a man, Miss Maggie. LILY. No, it’s not marrying. He’s going abroad. LESLIE. Got a fortune? MAGGIE. He’s just going to try his luck. He’s emigrating. LESLIE. What a fool! He’s got the sack, I suppose? MAGGIE. No. He’s thrown it up. LESLIE. Thrown up a safe job? Oh, he’s an ass, a stupid ass! You surely don’t ask me to come and wish good luck to an ass? MAGGIE. You can help with a dirge then. LESLIE. Much more like it. But, I say, is it really true? He must have got something to go to? CHAR. He hasn’t. He’s got a little cash, of course. He’s always been a careful beast. LESLIE. And he’s going to throw it away! And then I suppose he’ll be out of work over there, and we shall be hearing of the unemployment in the Colonies! It’s just this sort of thing that makes a man a Conservative. It’s what I call getting off the ladder and deliberately kicking it down. CHAR. Well, I don’t then. I think he’s a lucky chap to be able to do something he likes. He’s got some pluck. LILY. Why, dear, you know you think it’s very silly of him! LESLIE. [laughing.] You must look after your husband, Mrs. Wilson, I can see. He’ll be running away. Well, so long, old chap! I’ll come back later. Just give me a hitch over the wall. You’ll be sorry about those beans next week. [Pause.] They go out. A crash is heard. CHAR. Hullo! What’s up? LESLIE. [in the distance.] Smashed a box of tomato plants. Phew! LILY, laughing, goes out with MAGGIE. A long whistle—CHARLEY comes back into the room and stands looking into the fire. Pause. Enter TENNANT R. TENNANT. I’m just going round to Carter’s. Anything you want? [Pause.] I suppose Leslie had something to say about me? CHAR. He doesn’t want to come with you. TENNANT laughs. You don’t seem to know much about it, but I suppose you’ve fixed on a town. Sydney? TENNANT. No, Brisbane. [Pulling out a map.] The chap I know is cattle raising. Look! He opens the map on the table: they both lean over it, CHARLEY’S burnt-out pipe still in his hand. We’re going to Brisbane, then this way [moving his finger] across Queensland. He knows something [Pg 16] [Pg 17] at Merivale—here—see—in the Darling district. Then we shall push on to Maronoa—that’s the county—we’re going to a tiny place—Terramoa—but of course I mayn’t get anything— CHAR. [who is practically lying over the map.] Not fruit-farming then? That’s more my line. TENNANT. No. If ever you thought of that—see—this is a good district—I heard of a man there once—see—this way—Ship to Sydney—Vineyards and all sorts—suit you. CHARLEY. U-m! Or one could go this way. [Pointing with his pipe.] LILY’S voice heard calling “Charley”—TENNANT stands upright. LILY. [enters—laughing.] Charley! What are you doing? CHARLEY jumps up and TENNANT folds up the map. Looking at the plans? TENNANT. I’m off. Goes out. LILY. Finished gardening already, dear? CHARLEY. [putting on his coat.] Don’t feel like it. LILY. [holding out a newspaper.] Look here, dear, this will do for us, I think. CHARLEY. [glancing round.] What is it? LILY. An advertisement. [Reading.] “Wanted, by Young Man, board—residence in quiet family within easy reach of city. Western suburb preferred.” I must answer it. CHARLEY. I say—give Tennant a chance to get out first. LILY. But he is going, dear, so there’s no risk. And it’s such a good chance. Besides, we can ask Mr. Tennant for a reference. CHARLEY. [sharply.] No, don’t. Surely we can exist a week without anybody. LILY. Oh, yes! Only I thought—it’s a pity to miss—You don’t want Mr. Tennant to go, do you, dear? He is nice company for you. CHARLEY. He’s a nice chap. But you needn’t get lodgers to keep me company. LILY. [laughs.] What an idea! Of course not. CHARLEY. [going to her and turning her face towards him.] I say, Lil, aren’t you ever dull here? LILY. No—well—hardly ever. There’s always something to do. What a question! CHARLEY. Don’t you ever get sick of it? It’s jolly hard work sometimes. [He takes her hands and looks at them, stroking them as if unconsciously.] Why they’re getting quite rough. [She pulls them away.] LILY. It’s the washing, dear. It does roughen your hands. CHARLEY. [taking them again and kissing them.] They weren’t rough when we married. LILY. [she turns away.] You silly boy, of course they weren’t. I never did washing at home. What do you think, dear? Maggie is going to be married. CHARLEY. [with little interest.] To Foster? LILY. Yes. Isn’t she lucky? He’s quite well off. CHARLEY. So she won’t do the washing. I shall never be rich. LILY. You’ll be head clerk one of these days. CHARLEY. One of these days! LILY. And then we’ll have a servant. CHARLEY. Perhaps I shall never be head clerk. LILY. Oh, yes, you will! CHARLEY. I don’t know that I’m excited at the idea—a sort of policeman over the other chaps. I’d rather be as I am. LILY. But think of the position—and the money! [Pg 18] [Pg 19] CHARLEY nods gloomily—he walks to garden door. Where’s your ambition, dear? CHARLEY. Perfectly safe. No fear of that getting lost. The man who built that road [pointing out of the window] ought to be hanged. LILY. They’re not very pretty, those houses. Mrs. Freeman told me this morning that they’re going to raise our rents a little. CHARLEY. [turning round sharply.] What? That’s because they’ve brought the fares down. Just like ’em. LILY. I was thinking this morning, dear, that perhaps we could take two boarders. It would help a little. That little room at the back, over the scullery, would do nicely with a single bed. CHARLEY. That’s where I keep my cuttings and things. LILY. Yes, dear, but you could have half the coal shed. We never fill it. CHARLEY. I don’t want the coal shed. I say—must we have two? LILY. It would make things better, dear. CHARLEY. But it’s beastly, choking up your house with a lot of fellers. You don’t like it, do you? LILY. No, dear, of course not. CHARLEY. You don’t seem much put out. LILY. It’s no good being cross about it, dear, is it? If it’s got to be done, we may as well make the best of it. CHARLEY. Oh, make the best of it. [Fretfully.] You might at least seem vexed. LILY. [patiently.] Of course I don’t like it, dear, and of course I’d much rather be alone with you and have all my house to myself—though really the boarders don’t worry much, you know. They are always home late and only have meals with us. CHARLEY. Who wants ’em at meals? I don’t, if you do! LILY. [pathetically.] You are very unkind. I never said I wanted them. I’m only doing my best to make things smooth. You might help me, Charley. [She turns away.] CHARLEY. [crossing to LILY and patting her on her hand.] I’ll be all right later. But I say it is a bit thick. An Englishman’s home is his castle. I like that! Why, the only place where you can be alone is the bedroom. We’ll be letting that next. [He laughs sarcastically.] LILY. [shocked.] Charley! What are you saying? CHARLEY. Ha, ha, what a joke! The—well, never mind. The day we let the bathroom, Lil—I’m off to the Colonies. [He stops, suddenly struck with a thought.] LILY. You silly boy. CHARLEY. Supposing I did, eh? LILY. We’re not going to let the bathroom, so you needn’t suppose anything. CHARLEY. [abstractedly—sitting on a corner of the table.] Why not? LILY. Did you speak, dear? CHARLEY. [starting.] Eh?—No, no!—nothing. LILY goes, closing door. CURTAIN ACT II SCENE: Sitting-room at 55 Acacia Avenue. The folding doors between front and back parlour [Pg 20] [Pg 21] [Pg 22] are opened, with red curtains looped up. The front parlour, a glimpse of which is visible between curtains, is in full light and a corner of the piano can be seen. The furniture in this room is of the imitation Sheraton variety. There is an ornamental overmantel with photographs and vases, and a marble clock in the middle of the mantelpiece. Someone is playing the piano, and LILY, standing beside it, is singing in a sweet but rather weak voice, “Sing me to sleep.” No one is in the back parlour, but through the curtains can be seen MORTON LESLIE, lolling on mantelpiece; SYBIL FROST, a pretty fair-haired girl, much given to laughing at everything; PERCY MASSEY, a good- looking, somewhat weak youth of perhaps twenty-one or twenty-two, sitting very close to SYBIL, and TENNANT, standing in the bay window. CHARLEY comes in quietly through the side door into the back parlour during the singing. When LILY comes to the refrain of the song, everyone except CHARLEY joins in. He stays in the back parlour and sitting down in the shadow, lights a cigarette. LILY sits down amid a good deal of clapping and words of admiration. SYBIL. I do love that song. PERCY. Now you sing something. SYBIL. [with a giggle.] I couldn’t really—you know I couldn’t. PERCY. Oh, yes, you can—that nice little coon thing you sang at the Richards. SYBIL. I’ve got a cold. MAGGIE. [crossing from piano.] Of course you have. SYBIL. [laughing.] But it’s quite true. Really. And I couldn’t really sing after Mrs. Wilson. LILY. Sybil! Do sing, please. LESLIE. We’re all waiting, Miss Frost. SYBIL. Oh, please—I can’t. Let someone else sing first. MAGGIE comes to the doorway and catches sight of CHARLEY. She comes in. In the front parlour SYBIL can be seen still resisting, while LILY, LESLIE, and PERCY MASSEY beseech her. MAGGIE. You here—all alone? CHARLEY. ’Um. MAGGIE. What’s the matter? CHARLEY. Nothing. MAGGIE. Why didn’t you come into the front room? CHARLEY. I can hear quite as well here. MAGGIE. Got the hump? CHARLEY. What for? Head’s a bit nasty, so I’m smoking it off. MAGGIE. It isn’t that—it’s all this about Tennant. CHARLEY. [irritably.] I’m not grieving over him, if that’s what you mean. MAGGIE. As if I did! and as if you’d confess if you were. Are you sick of everything? CHARLEY. Sick! I’d cut the whole beastly show tomorrow if— [He stops suddenly.] LILY’S voice can be heard distinctly from the front room. LILY. Well, we’ll ask Mr. Tennant to sing first. SYBIL. Oh, I can’t sing, really— CHARLEY. Why doesn’t the girl sing when she’s asked? MAGGIE. She says she has a cold. [She laughs a little.] CHARLEY. Rot! Affectation, I call it. MAGGIE. Percy’s awfully smitten, isn’t he? CHARLEY. [surprised.] With her? [Pg 23] [Pg 24] MAGGIE. Of course. But you haven’t noticed that. Lily’s been arranging it. CHARLEY. But he’s such a kid. MAGGIE. He’s twenty-two. CHARLEY. What’s that? MAGGIE. Lots of men marry at twenty-two. CHARLEY. More fools they! Getting tied up before they’ve seen anything. MAGGIE. [thoughtfully.] I can never understand why a man gets married. He’s got so many chances to see the world and do things—and then he goes and marries and settles down and is a family man before he’s twenty-four. CHARLEY. It’s a habit. MAGGIE. If I were a man I wouldn’t stay in England another week. I wouldn’t be a quill-driver all my life. CHARLEY gets up and walks restlessly up and down the room. If I were a man— CHARLEY. Men can’t do everything. MAGGIE. I say, don’t you think it’s fine of Mr. Tennant to throw up everything and take the risk? CHARLEY. I’d do the same if . . . LILY. [coming forward a little.] Where’s Charley? Oh, never mind, I daresay he’s got a lantern and is looking for worms or something. Are you ready, Mr. Tennant? MAGGIE. I wonder what Lil would say if you did! CHARLEY stops dead and looks at MAGGIE. CHARLEY. If I did? What are you talking about? MAGGIE. Why shouldn’t you? CHARLEY. Why shouldn’t I? Aren’t there a thousand reasons? MAGGIE. There’s Lily, certainly—but . . . CHARLEY. She wouldn’t understand. She’d think I was deserting her. A pause. But that’s not all. I might manage her—I don’t know—but—you see, I’ve got a berth I can stay in all my life . . . TENNANT starts singing the first verse of “Off to Philadelphia.” It’s like throwing up a dead cert. And then. . . . MAGGIE. It would be a splash. CHARLEY. Yes—and think of all your people? What’d they say? They’d say I was running away from Lil—of course, it would seem like it. . . . Another pause. It’s impossible. I might never get anything to do—and then— His voice is suddenly drowned as the front room party sing the chorus “With my Knapsack,” etc. Knock at front door. I— MAGGIE. I believe I heard a knock. She goes out in corridor as TENNANT commences the second verse. CHARLEY sits on the edge of the table watching and listening. The door opens and MAGGIE enters, followed by FENWICK. FENWICK is a man of middle age, short and slight, with a quiet, rather crushed manner. [Pg 25] MAGGIE. Mr. Fenwick didn’t want to come in when he heard all the singing. He thought we had a party. She goes through curtains. CHARLEY. Oh, it’s nothing—a sort of family sing-song. FENWICK. Miss Massey would have me come in—but really I’d rather come some other— CHARLEY. Stuff! Sit down. I’ll pull the curtains if it’s anything special you’ve come about. I thought it was perhaps over those geranium cuttings. Afterwards, if you feel like it, we’ll go and join them. [Draws curtains and turns up light.] Freddy Tennant—you know him, don’t you—he’s going to seek his fortune in the Colonies. FEN. Is he? CHARLEY. Yes, and we’ll drink his health. What’s up? FEN. I didn’t see you at the train to-day. CHARLEY. No, you were late. I came on with Malcolm. FEN. The chief sent for me. CHARLEY. Wasn’t a rise, I suppose? FEN. Do I look like it? It’s the other thing. CHARLEY. Docking? FEN. [nodding first and then speaking slowly.] He said he’d sent for me as senior of my department. The company has had a bad year and they can’t give the usual rises. CHARLEY. None? FEN. None. Haven’t you had a letter? CHARLEY. No. I say, have I got the sack? FEN. No, you haven’t. But they’re offering you the same alternative they offered me—stay on at less—or go. CHARLEY. [walking up and down.] What are you going to do? FEN. What can I do? Stay, of course—what else is there? CHARLEY. Sit down under it? FEN. What else? Postman’s knock. CHARLEY. There’s the postman. Wait a bit. He goes out R. and the voices in the other room can be distinctly heard laughing, while someone is playing a waltz tune very brilliantly. CHARLEY comes back with a letter in his hand, closes door and music dies down. CHARLEY. Here it is. [He opens and reads it, then throws it on the table.] FENWICK. A bit of a blow, isn’t it? CHARLEY. I didn’t expect it. Did you? FENWICK. Not until last week when Morgan started making enquiries as to salaries, et cetera. Then I guessed. CHARLEY. We can’t do anything. FENWICK. Of course not. CHARLEY. But I say, you know, it’s all rot about a bad year. Don’t expect we’ve been exactly piling it up, but it’s nothing to grumble about. FENWICK. That doesn’t affect us, anyway. We’ve got to do as we’re told. I fancy old Morgan is hit, too. He was sugary, but of course he had to obey the instructions of the directors and so on. CHARLEY. It’s no good swearing at him. FENWICK. It’s no good swearing at anybody. What’s a Board? Where is it? [Pg 26] [Pg 27]