Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html His Pregnant Mistress CarolMarinelli Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Ethan is not capable of loving because he never received love. He doesn't know how to trust either. Will he learn to love and trust? CHAPTER ONE Don't look up. Don't look up. Over and over, Mia said those three little words toherself , knew, without a shadow of a doubt, it was the only way she could get through this dark hour in her life. She attempted to focus on the order of service she held. Her hands trembled so violently it made reading impossible, which was maybe just as well, for even the photograph of her dear friend Richard smiling back at her was enough to cause a fresh batch of tears to well in her eyes for the stifled scream to build in her throat at the agonizing end to such a beautiful life; it didn't make sense. Nothing today made any sense. Nothing in the formal surrounds of the church, or the austere people that packed the tiny pews, captured the essence of what Richard was about. She could count on one hand Richard's true friends—the so-called dreamers and drifters that were relegated like herself to the back pews of the church. While theCarvelles and their entourage sat at the front, swel tered in the unfamiliar tropical heat in heavy black suits, the sultry, balmy heat of the late after noon in Cairns clearly a distant memory, as one by one they had drifted down south, as one by one they had aban doned their roots and headed for the concrete security of the financial capital, their money too big, their egos too wide for the lush,unspoilt beauty of far North Queensland where they had first made their fortune, building and developing the type of luxury hotels that ensured the tourists returned. Too much was never enough where theCarvelles were concerned, the grass was always greener, the wallets always deeper somewhere else. Only Richard had stayed. As she stared at the order of service her mouth hardened and it took a moment to register that the emotion she was feeling was anger. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html Anger towards the insensitive man that was theCarvelles . Even the photo of him they had chosen looked wrong, wooden and formal in a suit andtie a world away from the casual, scruffy shorts and T-shirt guy Richard was. Had been. The mental correction caused a searing pain to rip through her, her hands moving to her stomach, massaging the life within, willing herself to stay calm for the sake of the baby she carried inside. Richard's baby. The surge of panic that overwhelmed her was exacerbated by the rustle in the pews as the congregation stood and Mia attempted to stand, her legs trem bling violently as the procession moved, willing herself to hold it together, to just get through the necessary formalities without drawing attention to herself. But despite her vow not to look up, to keep to the plan Mia had put in place merely to get her through, as the music stilled, and the congregation hushed, Mia's strategies fell by the wayside as her eyes slowly lifted.Drawn, not to the coffin, but to the dark-suited figure that followed behind, to the face that had haunted her dreams for the last seven years, to the face that had loved her, the eyes that had adored her and to the man who had so cruelly discarded her. Ethan. Only his haughty profile was visible as he walked with the somber procession, taking his place inI he front pew, staring fixedly ahead as the minister's voice welcomed the congregation on this sad day. And though the minister's words were well deliv ered, though it was Richard that had brought her here today, it was Ethan that held her attention. Ethan whom she stared at as the congregation shuffled to a stand, realizing, not for the first time, just how different Ethan was from his younger brother whom they were here to mourn. Richard, pale-skinned with light auburn hair, so vulnerable and fragile; the absolute antithesis of this confident, swarthy-skinned, imposing man standing tall at the front with immaculate suit, and as an age-old hymn she'd heard a mil lion times before filled the sacred space only now did she really hear it for the first time, each and every word seeming to dredge through the remnants of her soul. Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html And only now did she really feel it begin to understand it the timeless wonder of love, the ever lasting promise of peace, and as the words soared skywards, as her tears fell downwards, all Mia could think, all Mia could wish at the loneliest moment of her life was that the man who stood so distant and aloof at the front of the church didn't still touch her so. She wished with her whole heart that the seven years that had passed since she had seen EthanCarvelle could have rendered him less impressive, less authoritative...less beautiful. She had known today would be hard, but it wasn't just saying goodbye to Richard that was on her mind. She had said her farewells to him weeks ago. Expended most of her grief in painful stages as d ay by day the cancer that had ravaged his body had taken him piece by piece, like a beautiful statue being slowly dismantled, his short-term memory fading first, followed closely by pride as his functions had decreased. Yet all that Mia could deal with, even the agony of watching his sparkling humour slowly slip away, watching as he'd struggled to make a point, to finish a joke, hadn't come close to the tragedy o f his vacant eyes, which one black morning, had failed to recognize her. A mouth that hadn't smiled as she'd entered his sun drenched room in the hospice. Mia had known then that for Richard, her dear, kind Richard, it was over. She had said goodbye to him then, her mourning commencing that very day for the wonderful ma n who the doctor had gently told her would never now return. Today was a formality—the end of the tragic end. She had hoped it would be the same when she saw Ethan. That seeing him after all this time would bring some closure. That the seven years of pain she had suffered after Ethan's cruel rejection would somehow now abate. That finally after all this time she could really move on with her life. But watching Ethan as he left his pew and walked towards the front of the church, Mia felt her breath trap in her throat, her legs finally still— cold shock setting in as all over again, as if for the very first time, she witnessed his beautiful face on. He seemed taller if that were possible, his shoulders wider, and the years had treated him kindly. His hair, still jet-black, was cut shorter than it had been seven years ago. The last gasps of the youthful Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html twenty-three-year-old she had witnessed in those unforgettable weeks they had shared were gone for ever now, re placed instead with a savage maturity that quite literally took her breath away. And not just Mia's— the cause he was Richard's brother, not just because his surname happened to be Carvelle but because the mere sight of him, the very presence of him de manded respect. He could walk into a bar on the other side of the world, order a drink in that measured, clipped voice and every head in the place would turn, every woman would sit up straighter, and every man stand up taller. He paused before he started his reading, staring down for a fraction of a second. Mia watched his Adam's apple bob up and down, waiting in tense si lence as a man used to public speaking prepared him self for the most difficult speech of his life. Seeing the hands that had once tenderly held hers gripping the lectern, proud, tall and commanding as his deep voice delivered the reading, it was as if each word shot an arrow to her already bleeding heart. And it was more than she could bear to watch, sheer torture to see what she could never now have, so she dragged her eyes away from the object of his outer beauty, trying to remember the cruelty within, focusing on her own tightly clasped hands, her fingers interlaced over the soft swell of her stomach, chewing her lip as tears flooded her cheeks, watching as her knees again started to jerk up and down as if dancing to their own private tune as his deep, measured tones ripped through her every last word the antithesis of the treat ment he had dished out to her. The faith he had shattered, the hope he had de stroyed; a fresh batch of tears welled in her eyes as finally the reading turned to what Ethan clearly couldn't give, his voice searing through her as he delivered his final words... "'Meanwhile these three remain: faith, ho...'" His deep voice wavered and then halted, a tiny cough as he cleared his throat and the beat of a pause dragged on mercilessly, the congregation shuffling uncomfortably as Ethan forced himself to continue. 'Faith.'He dragged the single word out, paused a second too long again and Mia found herself mouthing the next word silently to herself, bitterly recalling the hope there had once been, the hope that had rounded the conception of her child, a future for Richard they had hoped to ensure. But as the pause went on her mind turned again, drifting back along the painful, familiar path she had followed for so 1ong: the road to Ethan. Dragging her eyes up, she recalled the hope that had surrounded them all those years ago, those stolen, balmy weeks when the world seemed to have paused for a while, when they had stood on the threshold of tomorrow, glimpsed a future that might just have been kind, and despite the pain he had caused, despite the agony he had put her and her father through, at that moment she felt for him, felt her heart go out to this strong, proud man as he stood alone at the front of the congregation, for once faltering and hesitant. She felt no joy in watching him suffer, took no pleasure in his pain. His eyes flicked to hers, and for the first time in seven years their eyes met, and it was as if it were just the two of them in the church, as if the years that stretched behind them had somehow melted away and she was in his arms again, the closeness Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html they had once shared so me how captured in that gaze. In an instinctive show of sup port Mia gave him a tiny nod, told him with her eyes he was doing okay. Like a parent at a school play she willed him to carry on speaking, and it worked, Ethan's eyes holding hers as he finished the reading. "'Faith, hope and love... And the greatest of these is love.'" Determinedly avoiding her gaze now, he made his way back to his seat, and for Mia the rest of the ser vice passed in a blur. Her tears dried up as finally the crowd moved outside. She took in huge gulps of the humid mid-morning air, blinking at the sunlight as her high heels crunched in the gravel, the congregation slowly working the line, shaking hands with theCarvelles before they headed for the crematorium— a private cremation the order of the day for theCarvelle family. Shutting out friendship, discounting outsiders in their usual closed-rank way; it probably never even entered their heads that in the last few months Mia had spent more time with Richard than the whole lot of them combined. She could argue the point, if she were that way inclined. Point out that, like it or not, she was very much family now; that the swell of her stomach beneath her black dress meant she had every reason to join them. But she didn't. Instead she murmured her condolences, shook hand with the endless faces and braces her cheeks with the cheeks of Richard's mother as one would for touching a snake. Mia stared into the cold blue eyes of a woman who, though she had borne two sons, didn't have a maternal bone in her body. 'Miss Stewart.' Her lips twisted around the two words, as if it were more than she could bear to say the name. 'I'm sorry for your loss,' Mia responded, willing the line to move, wanting this just to be over with , but HughCarvelle was talking intently to another dark-suited gentleman and, Mia realized with a sink ing feeling, she'd have to face Richard's mother for a little while longer yet. 'It's a blessing,' Rosalind said in a practiced voice, 'Richard was in a lot of pain.' And maybe the polite thing would have been to murmur her understanding, but quite simply Mia couldn't do it. What would this woman know about Richard's pain? How did she even have the gall to comment when, despite Mia's phone calls urging her to come, she'd barely spent an hour with her so n over the last few weeks, waltzing into the hospice for a brief visit before disappearing again? And where was the Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html blessing? Where was the blessing when a twenty-eight-year-old man lay dead? Taking a deep breath, Mia willed herself calm, choked back the fury that welled inside her told her self that RosalindCarvelle was a grievingmother, that it wasn't for Mia to judge, then let out a long sigh of relief when finally the line moved on. Mia listened as Hugh, clearly not even recognizing her, not even re membering that it had been her father he had so cru elly dismissed from his employment seven years ago, invited her back to a five star hotel for a dignified drink after the private cremation. Mia willed the line to move faster, despite the open space positively claustrophobic now as the moment she simulta neously dreaded and yearned for drew nearer, her breath so shallow she could barely catch it as finally Ethan's hand closed around hers. She didn't need to look up to know it was his, felt the force of his pres ence as they stood just a few inches apart, the touch of his skin on her hand enough to trigger a response only Ethan could ever yield. 'Mia.' His voice was low; she could feel his eyes burning into the top of her head as she stared fixedly at the ground.'Thank you for coming today. I know it would have meant a lot to Richard.' 'How?'Glittering eyes snapped up to his. 'How do you know that it would have meant a lot to Richard when you barely even spoke to him?' And she hadn't wanted to do this, hadn't wanted any sort of confrontation, had merely hoped just t o make it through, so why was she courting disaster now? Why was she staring defiantly into the face of the man who had, not only cruelly broken her heart, but dragged her unsuspecting father into thing s just to turn the knife a touch further? Why wasn't she walking away with the last shred of dignity she had instead of exposing her pain?Instead of staring at that unscrupulous face and questioning his love for his brother? He couldn't look. Couldn't look into those two sparkling jewels that always dragged him in, those aquamarine pools that had once captured his heart, remembering in that in stant the first time they had met, how she had, quite simply, ensnared him with a smile. Even before the waitress had led him to the table outside on the balcony, as he'd walked through the massive glassed doors his eyes had darted to where she'd sat. Her bronzed skin glistening in the low Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html evening sun; eyes mirrored by glasses as she'd stared out onto the ocean; a soft mint-coloured linen shift dress that showed a tantalizing glimpse of toned slen der thighs; simple silver sandals on her feet. Every detail Ethan had processed in a second, except her hair—blonde, tumbling ringlets piled loosely on top of her head-had taken a few seconds longer.So had the long, slender neck, long silver earrings dancing in the seductive shadow of her throat even though her head had been perfectly still. Even if the waitress had led him to another table, Ethan would, quite simply, have had to go over, to introduce himself to this incredible parcel of femininity. But in a delicious twist of fate the waitress had been leading him to her table. 'Mia Stewart.' She smiled as he sat down, held out a slender hand as he forcefully reminded himself that tonight was strictly business. Business, Ethan reminded himself, forcing himself to get a grip. Richard was missing and this lady surely knew why. Every road in his investigations had led him to her. Mia Stewart—Richard's hippy, arty girlfriend. Mia Stewart-daughter of the manager of the Cairns Hotel.The manager who was secretly being investigated.Some of his transactions had caught Ethan's sharp eye in the Sydney office and he had alerted his father. Any day now, Conner Stewart would be marched out of the office, not only without a golden handshake, but, if Ethan's suspicions were confirmed, his wrist would be encased, not with a heavy watch to mark his years of service, but with handcuffs. ‘I'm Ethan.' Offering his hand, somehow he kept his voice even, managed his usual detached smile as her hand met his, the other pulling down her sunglasses. 'Thank you for agreeing to see me.' 'How could I not?' She gave a small shrug. 'It all sounds very mysterious. Richard's disappeared and you assume I know his whereabouts. You've got me intrigued.' 'I'm the one who's intrigued,' Ethan replied evenly. 'You're supposed to be his girlfriend, yet you've no idea as to his whereabouts.' 'You've got it all wrong.' Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html 'I don't think so...' Ethan started, but his voice trailed off as Mia carried on talking. 'You see, Richard and I are just friends.' Normally he would have pushed further, questioned her harder but her glasses were off now, revealing aquamarine eyes, thickly framed with dark lashes eyes as deep and as divine as ocean that glittered behind as entrancing and as captivating as the woman starring back now, and Ethan beat back a blush that had graces his cheeks in a decade. Mia Stewart, who that very moment had captured his heart... ‘I know that you and Richard were close.' His hand was still holding hers, black eyes still boring into the top of her head, his voice steady, not a trace of the hesitancy that had stilled him in the church. "I know that the last few weeks must have been a terrible strain and that today must be hard for you too.' His eyes dragged down and she could feel the blood rush ing to her pale cheeks,colour suffusing her, her heart rate quickening more if that were possible as the weight of his gaze dusted her body. Her breath held hot in her bursting lungs as he took in the ripe s well of her stomach beneath her black linen dress, and she could feel the scorching heat from those black coal chips as they flicked down to her hands, undoubtedly taking in the absence of a ring. "Will you and your partner be joining the family for a drink after the cremation?' ‘I am here alone’ He nodded, those dark eyes giving nothing away. He might just as well have been wearing shades for all the expression as he directly stares at her. 'Perhaps we could talk...' 'I really don't think there's much to talk about, do you?' 'I meant about Richard.' For the first time he looked uncomfortable but he quickly recovered. 'Wakes are supposed to be important for grieving, for remembering...'