Table of Contents I. Blondes with Vehicles II. Questions and Answers III. Blondes and Electronics IV. Blondes Answering Questions V. Blondes Getting Medical Help VI. Multiple Blondes VII. Blondes, Brunettes, and Redheads VIII. Blondes Offended by Blonde Jokes IX. Blondes and Money X. Random Blonde Jokes I. Blondes with Vehicles 1. A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, “Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, and then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her and then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener." 2. A blonde has her hair dyed brown. A few days later she’s out driving through the countryside when she stops her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she says to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The shepherd agrees, so the blonde thinks for a moment and says, “352.” The shepherd is amazed, “You’re right! Which sheep do you want?” The blonde picks the cutest animal. The shepherd says to her, “Okay. How’s this for a bet? If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?” 3. A blonde called 911 to report that someone had stolen her car’s steering wheel, accelerator, dash board, and radio. When the police officer came out to the scene, he called dispatch and said, “Disregard. She sat in her backseat by mistake.” 4. A blonde got pulled over for speeding. When the officer asked her for her driver’s license, she angrily said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took my license away, and now today you expect me to give it to you?” 5. A police officer pulled a blonde over for driving down a one-way street. The officer asked the blonde if she knew where she was going. She replied, “No, but wherever I’m going must not be that great because everyone else is leaving.” 6. A blonde officer pulls over a blonde driver for speeding. The blonde officer asks the blonde driver for her driver's license. The blonde driver tells the blonde officer that she left her license at home. The blonde officer says, "That's fine. I just need to see any form of ID." The blonde driver goes through her purse and pulls out a pocket mirror and hands it over to the blonde officer. The blonde officer looks into the pocket mirror and says, "If I had known you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over." 7. Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament. The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs, so she decides to go up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road and clutching the seats in front of them. They all have white knuckles. The brunette asks, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!" One of the blondes looks up and says to her, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!" 8. As a trucker in Wisconsin stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it is winter and I'm driving the salt truck!" 9. "I got a compliment on my driving today," said a blonde to her friend. "There was a note left on my windshield it said 'parking fine.'" II. Questions and Answers 1. Q: Why did 18 blondes go to the movies together? A: They heard that 17 and under were not permitted. 2. Q: How did the blonde break