ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 ATOL: A T O L rt herapy n ine The Others Bronwen Gray If health is about adaptation, understanding and acceptance, then the arts may be more potent than anything medicine has to offer (Smith, 2002). Abstract What you are about to read is an autoethnographic study of what it was like to work as an art therapist with urban Maori and Pacific Islanders who live on a housing estate in South Auckland. Given that autoethnography is a postmodern research methodology, you will not find neatly defined sections entitled literature review or hypothesis, or a nice neat answer to a question, because this is not how autoethnography works. Autoethnography blends ethnographic interests with life writing and as such is able to bring together an understanding of personal identity and cultural context (Franzosa, 1992). Rather than relying on more conventional approaches to research, the ultimate story has been deconstructed, the literature is woven through the research, assisting with the triangulation of the picture I paint.   1 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 It seeks to expand the gambit of what art therapy can include, and in particular when it is practiced at the margins, acting disruptively, which is the ultimate role of any fringe activity. By starting with my lived experience it reflects on the role that dignity has to play in producing optimum health and wellbeing. With a belief that the personal is always political, it seeks to be what Eyreman & Jamison, (1998 p. 22) refer to as both “truth bearing and knowledge producing.” Located within a human rights framework it recognizes that art therapy is not value free or apolitical, it is in fact the exact opposite, and as such, it should demand that we take action about the injustices we uncover. Set on a housing estate in South Auckland, with a community that most had forgotten about or were afraid of, it is about the places some of us have to call home. Would you like to come inside? Key words: Autoethnography, human rights, Maori, Pacific Islanders, housing estates, rituals.     2 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 Story number one: trusting that our embodied experiences produce knowledge Figure 1: matchbox one When I was a child and annoying my mother, she used to give me and my sister a matchbox each and tell us to go and fill it with as many things as possible that we could find lying around the house. The object of the game was to see who could fit the most objects into this tiny space. This simple game, this idea of looking for and working with the discarded or the forgotten - with those objects that were not even noticed enough to consider getting rid of - is one of the principles that underpins my work as an art   3 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 therapist today. I have a long history of working in the fringes, with the forgotten and in working with ‘the others’ (Kapitan, 2012). I do not remember when I first heard of the term art therapy, but I remember when I first saw it in action. I was six years old. I had only been able to see my dad a couple of times in the last year, we hadn’t been allowed to visit him in his hospital room because of the severity of his injuries. I do not remember much about my dad’s accident. Just that the wife of the local police officer came to our school to pick my sister and I up, because mum had gone to visit dad in Switzerland. She said dad wasn’t well, so we would have to come and live with her family for a while. The police officer had told mum to pack her bags and go to Switzerland to say goodbye to her husband before he died. Everyone tried to keep it very normal and we did not talk about mum or dad, about how long they would be gone or for how long we would live this way. We just talked about school and telly, sharing silly stories while we ate our dinner. Sausages, boiled potatoes, peas and soggy carrots, everything salted. I was not hungry. No one used the word death, although I remember it hung heavily in the air. There were two beds in a little room separated by a small bedside table, and after the lights had been turned out and we were alone, I crawled into bed with my sister and we clung to each other like scared little kittens. The walls were covered with wallpaper that had huge orange flowers all over it. In their centre they were pure white, and with each   4 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 layer of the flower bloom, they graduated through shades of light pastel oranges augmented by beige shadows. In my mind I traced the flowers imagining my finger touching each layer from light to dark, and then back again from big to small until finally I fell asleep. When dad was well enough to be moved back to England we would go to the hospital and the nurse would open the window and we were allowed to look in at him and tell him that we loved him. Grandma helped me up on to a little ledge and if I stood on my tiptoes and held on tightly to the window frame I could just see in the window. I knew it was him because of his height. My dad is tall. But I could not see any other part of him, just casts and bandages all over his body. Arms and legs suspended in the air and tubes going in and coming out attached to machines that dripped in fluids and beeped at regular intervals. Everything in the room was white, except for the shiny gray lino tiles that looked like they had been cleaned and polished a million times. The smell of disinfectant drifted out the window, strong antiseptic like the kind you had to walk through before you could enter our local public swimming pool. It was sharp on my nose and I could taste it in my mouth and feel it in my lungs. I did not like it. Mum was allowed in for a short visit, so Grandma sat on the grass with us outside the window helping us make daisy chains to wear around our necks and to decorate dad’s window sill. At the end of the year my dad spent in hospital he came home with a small mosaiced table under his arm. Tiny neatly laid tiles, 12 tiles down, 24 across: only pink and white. It is the only attempt at making art that I ever saw my dad engage in. I told him how much I liked it. Dad told me how much he hated it. He said, “The doctor said it would help me. I was forced to do it and I hated every painstaking moment of it.” The table sat in the garden weathering the elements gradually deteriorating over time. When we moved to Australia it got put in the ‘to burn’ pile and was never mentioned again. It did not assist dad with his re-entry into the real world as a husband, father and   5 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 provider, instead it represented his feelings of guilt and inadequacy that his accident had left him with. My experiences of my dad’s engagement with art making as a healing tool tells me that making art in clinical settings does not always help people cope out in the real world or promote wellness. It instilled in me a belief that as therapists, we need to experience and understand how the environment impacts on how a client lives to understand how it contributes to their stresses. It needs to lead to action in order for the client to move to a space where they can again become contributing members of a community (Block, Harris, & Laing, 2005). As a result of this embodied knowledge, as an art therapist I do not choose to work in clinical settings, rather I like to work with communities on projects that matter to them collectively. As a therapist and artist, I embrace the mission statement of Counsellors For Social Justice, which believes that the focus of our work implies that we use ‘social advocacy and activism as a means to address inequitable social, political and economic conditions that impede the academic, career, and personal/social development of individuals and communities’ (Ratts, 2009). I suspect that my personal commitment to human rights is also tied to my fathers’ accident. Although the accident happened whilst he was at work, he was not offered any compensation. Instead he was sacked, and classified ‘a liability’ to the firm, a large multinational corporation with an annual profit for shareholders in the billions.   6 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 Story number two: everyone has a story to tell Figure 2: matchbox two I would often ask dad about the accident and sometimes he would tell me what it had been like to die. He said it felt warm and there was a bright white light that he felt he should move towards, but then at the last minute the hole where the light was coming from would close up and he felt like he was being pulled back down to the ground. I thought dad was very lucky to know this and that I was lucky also. I had a great story to tell my friends - as close to an urban myth as you could get. A story about how my dad, the hero, died three times, broke every bone in his body, punctured his lungs but still managed to survive falling out of that window. No one was ever going to top that in the schoolyard, believe you me! But when I probed a little deeper, as a teenager to talk about how it had changed our lives, he would get angry and defensive. He would say,   7 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 “It’s none of your business to know these things. It’s not your story. It did not happen to you and you should leave it alone.” But it did happen to me. It happened to all of us. As a family we shared a critical moment in time together, each creating our own internal narrative that has influenced how we live our lives and I do have a story to tell. I do not purport to tell the same story that any other member of my family might have to tell. Just as I do not purport to tell the story of my work on housing estates as the essential version of the facts. I choose only to represent myself and acknowledge that the individual is always best situated to describe his or her own experiences more accurately than anyone else. Truth will always be pluralistic and relative (Duncan, 2004) and that is why I choose autoethnography as the methodology for this research. I choose this methodology out of deep respect for the people whom I have shared critical moments in time with and as a political statement that commits to human rights principles of freedom of choice, the right to control one’s identity. Autoethnography is a self-focused form of research, which uses first person dialogue to add insight into either the ethnography of one’s own group or into autobiographical writing that has ethnographic interest (Reed – Danahay, 1997). Sitting within the postmodern paradigm, it blends ethnographic interests with life writing and as such is able to bring together an understanding of personal identity and cultural context (Franzosa, 1992). Its purpose is firstly to acknowledge the validity of the subjectivity of the researcher’s experiences (Foster, 2006), and secondly, as a self-reflective practice, to draw upon those experiences for the purpose of extending the understanding of the issues being considered (Sparkes, 2000). As a methodology it has, in the past, been criticized for being self indulgent or narcissistic (Atkinson, 1997; Bleakly, 2000; Sparkes, 2000), demonstrating an extraordinary absence of social context, social action, and social interaction (Atkinson, 1997). However, Roth (2005) asserts that when we write about ourselves, we will   8 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 always be talking about society collectively, because society only exists in and through our membership. Pereira (2005) identifies autoethnography as a transformative tool which allows us to examine critically and creatively the ways in which our own moral values impact on our everyday choices and decisions. Whilst still viewed with some distrust within the research community, autoethnography is increasingly being recognised as a valid method for conducting research (Duncan, 2004) and has been welcomed by many within the therapeutic community (Clarke, 2002). No longer is it seen as a method engaged in a purely one sided subjectivity and introspection, but instead becomes a window which throws new light on matters beyond itself (McNiff, 1998). As a methodology located in postmodern thinking, autoethnography sits on a continuum encompassing analytical, critical, collective and evocative approaches to the research. At one end you have what is referred to as analytic autoethnography and at the other end you have what is referred to as evocative autoethnography (Muncey, 2010), which is where this research sits. All are equally valued branches of the methodology in different circumstances. At the analytical end of the continuum, the research encourages the inclusion of theory and analysis within an auto ethnographic context and encompasses 3 main qualities which are that 1) the researcher is the subject of the research, 2) that this is made explicit in any and all presentations of the research and 3) that the research has an analytical intent. In contrast at the other end of the continuum, evocative autoethnography relies more heavily on the lived experience to tell stories about wider shared issues, but where the reader is entitled to discover these stories for themselves. Evocative autoethnography advocates for a very personal form of storytelling, which ‘brings us into lived experiences in a feeling and embodied way’ (Ellis & Bochner, 2006, p. 439). Like other forms of artistic endeavour, whilst the artist may have intention behind the work created, the viewer is also entitled to make their own meaning. The intention in evocative   9 ATOL: Art Therapy OnLine, 6 (1) © 2015 autoethographies is, by placing the emphasis on the story rather than on the analysis of the story, to ensure that the research (the personal narrative) is not diluted or negated as valid data (Muncey, 2010). Adams and Holman-Jones (2008 p. 375) state that Autoethnography is an effort to set a scene, tell a story, and create a text that demands attention and participation. It makes witnessing and testifying possible and puts pleasure, difference, and movement into productive conversation. Because autoethnography combines ethnographic interests with life writing, the criteria for determining whether the research is good or bad is determined in quite different ways to the traditional criteria used for scientific research (Ellis & Bochner, 2000; 2006). Ellis (2000 p. 273) states: (I want) to feel and think with the story, be immersed in its flow (as in a good novel) and afterwards be unable to stop thinking or feeling what I’ve experienced and ultimately, be evoked narratively. From there, her interests gravitate to the bigger picture – what she has learned from the writing – its goals, claims, achievements and ethical considerations. It is the ethical issues that interest me the most: the ethics of being an art therapist as well as the ethics attached to the business of marginalization. Collectively they speak to human rights. The therapeutic efficacy of using art as a tool for social change within community settings is a well-established component of the art therapy theory and practice (Gersie, 1995; Golub, 2005; Hocoy, 2005; Kapitan, 2008; Kaplan, 2007; Malchiodi, 2007, Gray 2012). Rossetto (2012) identified that art therapists who work within this paradigm have a world view that values their connectedness to society, which as a result of their interconnectivity implies a responsibility for challenging hegemonic assumptions about   10