Copyright © 2015 by Linda Louisa Dell All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief excerpts in critical reviews or articles. All inquiries should be addressed to Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018. Skyhorse Publishing books may be purchased in bulk at special discounts for sales promotion, corporate gifts, fund- raising, or educational purposes. Special editions can also be created to specifications. For details, contact the Special Sales Department, Skyhorse Publishing, 307 West 36th Street, 11th Floor, New York, NY 10018 or [email protected]. Skyhorse® and Skyhorse Publishing® are registered trademarks of Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.®, a Delaware corporation. Visit our website at www.skyhorsepublishing.com. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file. Cover design by Jane Sheppard Cover photo credit: Thinkstock Print ISBN: 978-1-63220-481-3 Ebook ISBN: 978-1-63220-800-2 Printed in China To lovers everywhere: Be safe, be strong, and be true to yourself. W D ARNING AND ISCLAIMER In this book I have tried to give information relating to sexuality, sexual problems, and sexual dysfunction that will help people who have suffered from sexual problems or low libido. Making love can be a beautiful and natural experience to be enjoyed and appreciated, but sometimes problems arise that can spoil our enjoyment. In this book I have listed many aphrodisiacs from the bizarre to the mundane, some of which can help with sexual problems. But I have to stress that much of the information given is intended for curiosity only and that the effects of some herbs, plants, and essential oils can be dangerous, as what is a safe dose for one person can be very toxic for another. The author and publisher can take no responsibility for the misuse of any of the preparations listed herein. The information given is not intended to take the place of medical advice and attention. Contents C 1: A I S D L HAPTER N NTRODUCTION TO EX RIVE AND IBIDO L OSING INTEREST IN SEX F AMILIARITY OR BOREDOM B EING UNFIT OR OVERWEIGHT OR HAVING LOW SELF-ESTEEM S TRESS AND LACK OF SLEEP P OOR DIET OR EXCESS ALCOHOL AND DRUGS P REGNANCY AND BREASTFEEDING A NXIETY OR DEPRESSION P AIN OR ILLNESS M ENOPAUSE I MPOTENCE M ALE MENOPAUSE, PROSTATE PROBLEMS, OR HYPOGONADISM P REVIOUS SEXUAL ABUSE OR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS S ( ) AD SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER C ’ ULTURAL INFLUENCES OR PARENTS ATTITUDE TO SEX C 2: A I A S P HAPTER N NTRODUCTION TO PHRODISIACS AND EXUAL RACTICES A PHRODISIACS IN HISTORY P HEROMONES J APANESE PILLOW BOOKS T AOIST SEX T ANTRIC SEX S MELL P UBIC HAIR I ’ T S ALL IN THE MIND O RAL SEX T HE OLDEST APHRODISIACS T HE MOST BIZARRE APHRODISIACS C 3: A–Z A HAPTER OF PHRODISIACS A 1: A G U P H , C PPENDIX UIDE TO THE SE AND REPARATION OF ERBS HARMS, AND O U A ILS AS SED IN PHRODISIACS B IBLIOGRAPHY G LOSSARY CHAPTER ONE An Introduction to Sex Drive and Libido Low sex drive is very common and can affect up to one-fifth of the population at any one time. In researching this book, I was astonished at the enormous range of aphrodisiac substances, vitamins, minerals, herbs, essential oils, and drugs that have, reputedly, a profound and beneficial effect on the libido. Jungians often use the name of the Greek god Eros as well as the Latin term libido to talk about love energy. By this term they mean not just sexual appetites, but a general appetite for life. Sex drive, or libido, is more often than not the strongest urge in humans after food and sleep. But all too often, one partner ends up having a lower sex drive than another partner, who can end up feeling frustrated, neglected, or unloved. Loss of sex drive is extremely common and is now the biggest single reason for consulting a sex therapist. A normal sex drive is needed, as your sexual health and general well-being are very closely linked. Just as the healthier you are, the more you are likely to want to have sex, increased sexual energy is also beneficial to the mind, body, and spirit. The benefits of regular sex have been recommended throughout the ages. In ancient China, the flow of sexual energy around the body was believed to form the basis of physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being; channeling sexual energy was considered the key to immortality. Herbal aphrodisiacs and erotic arts were therefore used not to increase simply pleasure in sex, but also as a means to advance general health and longevity. The Greek physician Galen wrote in the second century AD that sexual abstinence was the direct cause of hysteria. In the 1940s, psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich advocated “an orgasm a day for optimum health.” Many researchers have found numerous beneficial effects of indulging in regular sex. The French call sexual climax the “little death,” as it may help to postpone that eventual “big death.” In men, male hair growth seems to increase when sex is anticipated, probably as a result of increased testosterone activity. In both men and women, levels of the hormone oxytocin peak during orgasm, have a tranquilizing effect on both sexes, and help to provide a good night’s sleep, although the effect appears to be greater in men than in women. The sex drive, or libido, is a powerful directing force that has a profound effect on human behavior. The term “libido” was first used by the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud to signify the instinctive psychosexual energy that is present in everyone from birth. Men are said to reach their sexual peak in their teens, while their psychological sex drive peaks after the age of fifty when testosterone levels fall. Women are said to reach their physical sexual peak in their thirties or forties, while their psychological sex drive reaches its maximum in their fifties, at the same time as that of males. But this is not to say that men and women cannot continue having and enjoying sex up to almost any age. L OSING INTEREST IN SEX Even in a settled, loving, long-term relationship, the sensual thrills that accompanied the first flush of love will recede once the passionate honeymoon phase is over. Lovemaking often becomes less exciting and even boring. Try to keep interest in sex alive by experimenting with different positions and techniques and varying the time and place of lovemaking so your love life does not become stale. There can be many reasons for sex drive to fall or fail; these can include medical or lifestyle situations such as: • Familiarity or boredom • Being unfit or overweight or having low self-esteem • Stress and lack of sleep • Poor diet or excess alcohol and drugs • Pregnancy and breastfeeding • Anxiety or depression • Pain or illness • Menopause • Impotence • Male menopause, prostate problems, or hypogonadism • Previous sexual abuse or relationship problems • SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) • Cultural influences or parents’ attitude to sex F AMILIARITY OR BOREDOM It may be that you are in a loving relationship, but things have gotten a bit predictable. If this is the case, try to bring some excitement back into your relationship. Surprise your partner, try different positions, use sex aids, learn how to massage each other, take a romantic break together, and, if you have children, get someone to look after them at least once a week so you can just concentrate on each other and indulge yourselves without fear of interruptions. B EING UNFIT OR OVERWEIGHT OR HAVING LOW SELF-ESTEEM General unfitness, lack of exercise, being overweight, and not liking the way you look can certainly lower sex drive. The first thing to remember is that sex is excellent exercise; you can lose between two hundred and five hundred calories in an average- to-spirited sex session. In today’s society, more people are becoming overweight, which leads to sluggishness and low energy levels, which in turn lead to lack of self-esteem and low sex drive. One of the most inhibiting factors when it comes to making love is lack of confidence in your body shape. It is important for you to love your body, love yourself, and always make your partner feel comfortable with his or her body image and sexuality. S TRESS AND LACK OF SLEEP Stress is one of the most common causes of loss of libido along with overwork, exhaustion, and lack of sleep. Reducing stress levels will help to boost sex drives in both men and women. You should also aim to avoid coffee, strong tea, caffeinated drinks, cigarettes, and alcohol when you are under stress, as these only make matters worse. P OOR DIET OR EXCESS ALCOHOL AND DRUGS It is generally estimated that one in ten people do not get all the nutrients they need from their food alone and should take vitamin supplements to complement their diet. I would guess the actual number would be even higher than that. Alcohol in small quantities is an aphrodisiac, but only for women. Prolonged use of alcohol may hinder men from getting erections. Milk thistle can help to protect liver cells from the effects of alcohol and may boost testosterone levels that have been lowered by excess alcohol intake. Alcohol heightens our feelings and lowers our inhibitions, but too much alcohol dampens the sexual urge and impedes performance. Many commonly prescribed drugs, and some illicit drugs, have a negative effect on sex drive. If you think your low sex drive is linked to a medication you are taking, consult your doctor, but do not stop taking medication except under medical