Project Gutenberg's A Turkish Woman's European Impressions, by Zeyneb Hanoum This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license Title: A Turkish Woman's European Impressions Author: Zeyneb Hanoum Editor: Grace Ellison Illustrator: Auguste Rodin Release Date: November 23, 2015 [EBook #50540] Language: English Character set encoding: UTF-8 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TURKISH WOMAN'S EUROPEAN *** Produced by Turgut Dincer and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by the Library of Congress) A TURKISH WOMAN’S EUROPEAN IMPRESSIONS Zeyneb in her Paris Drawing-room. Zeyneb in her Paris Drawing-room She is wearing the Yashmak and Feradjé, or cloak. A TURKISH WOMAN’S EUROPEAN IMPRESSIONS BY ZEYNEB HANOUM (HEROINE OF PIERRE LOTI’S NOVEL “LES DÉSENCHANTÉES”) EDITED & WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY GRACE ELLISON WITH 23 ILLUSTRATIONS FROM PHOTOGRAPHS & A DRAWING BY AUGUSTE RODIN PHILADELPHIA J. B. LIPPINCOTT COMPANY LONDON: SEELEY, SERVICE & CO. LTD. 1913 CONTENTS ix CHAP. PAGE I. A DASH FOR FREEDOM 21 II. ZEYNEB’S GIRLHOOD 31 III. BEWILDERING EUROPE 47 IV. SCULPTURE’S FORBIDDEN JOY 57 V. THE ALPS AND ARTIFICIALITY 63 VI. FREEDOM’S DOUBTFUL ENCHANTMENT 73 VII. GOOD-BYE TO YOUTH—TAKING THE VEIL 83 VIII. A MISFIT EDUCATION 93 IX. “SMART WOMEN” THROUGH THE VEIL 105 X. THE TRUE DEMOCRACY 111 XI. A COUNTRY PICTURE 125 XII. THE STAR FROM THE WEST—THE EMPRESS EUGÉNIE 131 XIII. TURKISH HOSPITALITY—A REVOLUTION FOR CHILDREN 137 XIV. A STUDY IN CONTRASTS 145 XV. DREAMS AND REALITIES 153 XVI. THE MOON OF RAMAZAN 169 XVII. AND IS THIS REALLY FREEDOM? 179 XVIII. THE CLASH OF CREEDS 201 XIX. IN THE ENEMY’S LAND 217 XX. THE END OF THE DREAM 233 ILLUSTRATIONS Zeyneb in her Paris Drawing-room Frontispiece A Turkish Child with a Slave To face page 34 A Turkish House ” 34 “Les Désenchantées” (by M. Rodin) ” 60 A Turkish Dancer ” 70 A Turkish Lady dressed as a Greek Dancer ” 70 Turkish Lady in Tcharchoff (outdoor costume) ” 88 Silent Gossip of a Group of Turkish Women ” 102 Turkish Ladies in their Garden with their Children’s Governesses ” 102 Yashmak and Mantle ” 134 Melek in Yashmak ” 140 Zeyneb in her Western Drawing-room ” 160 Turkish Ladies paying a Visit ” 172 Zeyneb with a black Face-veil thrown back ” 184 A Corner of a Turkish Harem of to-day ” 192 Turkish Women and Children in the Country ” 192 The Balcony at the Back of Zeyneb’s House ” 206 Zeyneb and Melek ” 206 The Drawing-room of a Harem showing the Bridal Throne ” 214 A Corner of the Harem ” 214 A Caïque on the Bosphorus ” 222 Turkish Women in the Country ” 222 Melek on the Verandah at Fontainebleau ” 228 INTRODUCTION IN the preface of his famous novel, Les Désenchantées, M. Pierre Loti writes: “This novel is pure fiction; those who take the trouble to find real names for Zeyneb, Melek, or André will be wasting their energy, for they never existed.” These words were written to protect the two women, Zeyneb and Melek, who were mainly responsible for the information contained in that book, from the possibility of having to endure the terror of the Hamidian régime as a consequence of their indiscretion. This precaution was unnecessary, however, seeing that the two heroines, x xi xii xiii understanding the impossibility of escaping the Hamidian vigilance, had fled to Europe, at great peril to their lives, before even the novel appeared. Although it is not unusual to find Turkish women who can speak fluently two or three European languages (and this was very striking to me when I stayed in a Turkish harem), and although M. Loti has in his novel taken the precaution to let Melek die, yet it would still have been an easy task to discover the identity of the two heroines of his book. Granddaughters of a Frenchman who for les beaux yeux of a Circassian became a Turk and embraced Mahometanism, they had been signalled out from amongst the enlightened women who are a danger to the State, and were carefully watched. For a long time many cultured Turkish women had met to discuss what could be done for the betterment of their social status; and when it was finally decided to make an appeal to the sympathy of the world in the form of a novel, who better than Pierre Loti, with his magic pen and keen appreciation of Turkish life, could be found to plead the cause of the women of what he calls his “second fatherland”? In one of my letters written to Zeyneb from Constantinople, I hinted that the Young Turks met in a disused cistern to discuss the Revolution which led Europe to expect great things of them. The women, too, met in strange places to plot and plan—they were full of energetic intentions, but, with the Turkish woman’s difficulty of bringing thought into action, they did little more than plot and plan, and but for Zeyneb and Melek, Les Désenchantées would never have been written. At the conclusion of his preface, M. Loti says: “What is true in my story is the culture allowed to Turkish women and the suffering which must necessarily follow. This suffering, which to my foreign eyes appeared perhaps more intense, is also giving anxiety to my dear friends the Turks themselves, and they would like to alleviate it. The remedy for this evil I do not claim to have discovered, since the greatest thinkers of the East are still diligently working to find it.” Like M. Loti I, too, own my inability to come any nearer a solution of this problem. I, who through the veil have studied the aimless, unhealthy existences of these pampered women, am nevertheless convinced that the civilisation of Western Europe for Turkish women is a case of exchanging the frying-pan for the fire. Zeyneb in her letters to me, written between 1906-1912, shows that, if her disenchantment with her harem existence was bitter, she could never appreciate our Western civilisation. Turkish women are clamouring for a more solid education and freedom. They would cast aside the hated veil; progress demands they should—but do they know for what they are asking? “Be warned by us, you Turkish women,” I said to them, painting the consequences of our freedom in its blackest colours, “and do not pull up your anchor till you can safely steer your ship. My own countrymen have become too callous to the bitter struggles of women; civilisation was never meant to be run on these lines, therefore hold fast to the protection of your harems till you can stand alone.” Since my return to London, I have sometimes spoken on Turkish life, and have been asked those very naïve questions which wounded the pride of Zeyneb Hanoum. When I said I had actually stayed in an harem, I could see the male portion of my audience, as it were, passing round the wink. “You must not put the word ‘harem’ on the title of your lecture,” said the secretary of a certain society. “Many who might come to hear you would stay away for fear of hearing improper revelations, and others would come hoping to hear those revelations and go away disappointed.” In one of her letters to me, Zeyneb complains that the right kind of governess is not sent to Constantinople. The wonder to me is, when one hears what a harem is supposed to be, that European women have the courage to go there at all. The word harem comes from the Arabic “Maharem,” which means “sacred or forbidden,” and no Oriental word has been more misunderstood. It does not mean a collection of wives; it is simply applied to those rooms in a Turkish house exclusively reserved for the use of the women. Only a blood relation may come there to visit the lady of the house, and in many cases even cousins are not admitted. There is as much sense in asking an Englishman if he has a boudoir as in asking a Turk if he has a harem; and to think that when I stayed in Turkey, our afternoon’s impropriety consisted of looking through the latticed windows! The first Bey who passed was to be for me, the second for Fathma, and the third for Selma; this was one of our favourite games in the harem. One day I remember in the country we waited an hour for my Bey to pass, and after all he was not a Bey, but a fat old man carrying water. The time has not yet come for the Turkish woman to vindicate her right to freedom; it cannot come by a mere change of law, and it is a cruelty on the part of Europeans to encourage them to adopt Western habits which are a part of a general system derived from a totally different process of evolution. In the development of modern Turkey, the Turkish woman has already played a great part, and she has a great part still to play in the creation of a new civilisation; but present experience has shown that no servile imitation of the West will redeem Turkey from the evils of centuries of patriarchal servitude. * * * * * By a strange irony of fate, it was at Fontainebleau that I first made the acquaintance of Pierre Loti’s heroines. To me every inch of Fontainebleau was instinct with memories of happiness and liberty. It was here that Francis I. practised a magnificence which dazzled Europe; here, too, is the wonderful wide forest of trees which are still there to listen to the same old story.... From a Turkish harem to Fontainebleau. What a change indeed! xiv xv xvi xvii xviii The two sisters were sitting on the verandah of their villa when I arrived. Zeyneb had been at death’s door; she looked as if she were there still. “Why did you not come to lunch?” asked Melek. “I was not invited,” I answered. “Well, you might have come all the same.” “Is that the custom in Turkey?” “Why, of course, when you are invited to lunch you can come to breakfast instead, or the meal after, or not at all. Whenever our guests arrive, it is we who are under obligations to them for coming.” “What a comforting civilisation; I am sure I should love to be in Turkey.” I wanted to ask indiscreet questions. “Have you large trees in Turkey with hollows big enough to seat two persons?” I began. Melek saw through the trick at once. “Ah!” she answered, “now you are treading on dangerous ground; next time you come to see us we shall speak about these things. In the meanwhile learn that the charming side of life to which you have referred, and about which we have read so much in English novels, does not exist for us Turkish women. Nothing in our life can be compared to yours, and in a short time you will see this. We have no right to vary ever so little the programme arranged for us by the customs of our country; an adventure of any kind generally ends in disaster. As you may know, we women never see our husbands till we are married, and an unhappy marriage is none the less awful to bear when it is the work of some one else.” “Do tell me more,” I persisted. “The marriage of a Turkish woman is an intensely interesting subject to anyone but a Turkish woman....” * * * * * I left my new friends with reluctance, but after that visit began the correspondence which forms the subject matter of this book. GRACE ELLISON. A TURKISH WOMAN’S EUROPEAN IMPRESSIONS CHAPTER I A DASH FOR FREEDOM A FEW days after my visit to the Désenchantées at Fontainebleau, which is described in the Introduction, I received the following letter from Zeyneb: Fontainebleau, Sept. 1906. You will never know, my dear and latest friend, the pleasure your visit has given us. It was such a new experience, and all the more to be appreciated, because we were firmly convinced we had come to the end of new experiences. For almost a quarter of a century, in our dear Turkey, we longed above all for something new; we would have welcomed death even as a change, but everything, everything was always the same. And now, in the space of eight short months, what have we not seen and done! Every day has brought some new impressions, new faces, new joys, new difficulties, new disappointments, new surprises and new friends; it seemed to both of us that we must have drunk the cup of novelty to its very dregs. On Sunday, after you had left us, we talked for a long time of you and the many subjects we had discussed together. Sympathy and interest so rarely go hand in hand—interest engenders curiosity, sympathy produces many chords in the key of affection, but the sympathetic interest you felt for us has given birth on our side to a sincere friendship, which I know will stand the test of time. We felt a few minutes after you had been with us, how great was your comprehension, not only of our actions, but of all the private reasons, alas! so tragic, which made them necessary. You understood so much without our having to speak, and you guessed a great deal of what could not be put into words. That is what a Turkish woman appreciates more than anything else. We, who are not even credited with the possession of a soul, yet guard our souls as our most priceless treasures. Those who try to force our confidence in any way, we never forgive. Between friend and friend the highest form of sympathy is xix xx 21/23 24 25 silence. For hours we Turkish women sit and commune with one another without speaking. You would, I know, understand this beautiful side of our life. Since our departure from our own country, and during these few months we have been in France, from all sides we have received kindness. We were ready to face yet once more unjust criticism, blame, scandal even; but instead, ever since we left Belgrade till we arrived here, everything has been quite the opposite. All the European papers have judged us impartially, some have even defended and praised us, but not one censured us for doing with our lives what it pleased us. But in Turkey what a difference! No Constantinople paper spoke of our flight. They were clever enough to know that by giving vent to any ill-feeling, saying what they really thought of our “disgraceful” conduct, they would draw still more attention to the women’s cause; so we were left by the Press of our country severely alone. The Sultan Hamid, who interested himself a little too much in our welfare, became very anxious about us. Having left no stone unturned to force us to return (he had us arrested in the middle of the night on our arrival at Belgrade on the plea that my sister was a minor, and that both of us had been tricked away by an elderly lady for illicit purposes) he next ordered that all those European papers in which we were mentioned should be sent to him. As our flight drew forth bitter criticism of his autocratic government, he must, had he really taken the trouble to read about us, have found some very uncomfortable truths about himself. But that was no new régime. For years he has fed himself on these indigestible viands, and his mechanism is used to them by now. I need not tell you that in Constantinople, for weeks, these forbidden papers were sold at a high price. Regardless of the risk they were running, everyone wanted to have news of the two women who had had the audacity to escape from their homes and the tyranny of the Sultan Hamid. In the harems, we were the one topic of conversation. At first no one seemed to grasp the fact that we had actually gone, but when at last the truth slowly dawned upon them, the men naturally had not a kind word to say of us, and we did not expect it would be otherwise. But the women, alas! Many were obliged officially to disapprove of our action. There were a few, however, who had the courage to defend us openly; they have our deepest and sincerest gratitude. But do not think for a moment that we blame or feel unkindly towards the others. Have not we, like them, had all our lives to suffer and fear and pretend as captives always must do? Could they be expected to find in one day the strength of character to defend a cause however just, and not only just, but their own—their freedom. Yes, my friend, we ourselves have lived that life of constant fear and dissimulation, of hopes continually shattered, and revolt we dared not put into words. Yet never did the thought occur to us that we might adapt ourselves to this existence we were forced to lead. We spent our life in striving for one thing only—the means of changing it. Could we, like the women of the West, we thought, devote our leisure to working for the poor, that would at least be some amusement to break the monotony. We also arranged to meet and discuss with intelligent women the question of organising charity, but the Sultan came down upon us with a heavy hand. He saw the danger of allowing thinking women to meet and talk together, and the only result of this experiment was that the number of spies set to watch the houses of “dangerous women” was doubled. Then it was that we made up our minds, after continual failure, that as long as we remained in our country under the degrading supervision of the Hamidian régime, we could do nothing, however insignificant, to help forward the cause of freedom for women. I need not tell you again all the story of our escape; it is like a nightmare to me still, and every detail of that horrible journey will remain clearly fixed in my mind until death. Shall I tell you all that has happened to us since? But so much has been said about us by all sorts and conditions of men and women, that you will no doubt have already had an overdose. Yet I thought I understood, from the sympathetic interest you showed us the other afternoon, that there was much you would still like to hear. Have I guessed rightly? Then there is nothing you shall not know.—Your affectionate Zeyneb. What a long and interesting letter! and from a Turkish woman too! Several times I read and re-read it, then I felt that I could not give my new friend a better proof of the pleasure that it had given me, than by writing her at once to beg for more. But I waited till the next day, and finally sent a telegram—“Please send another letter.” CHAPTER II ZEYNEB’S GIRLHOOD Fontainebleau, Sept. 1906. WHEN I was quite young I loved to read the history of my country told in the Arabian Nights style. The stories are so vivid and picturesque, that even to-day, I remember the impression my readings made on me. [Alas! the profession of conteur or raconteur is one which has been left behind in the march of time.] Formerly every Pasha had a conteur, 26 27 28 29 30/33 who dwelt in the house, and friends were invited from all around to come and listen to his Arabian Nights stories. The tales that were most appreciated were those which touched on tragic events. But the stories contained also a certain amount of moral reflection, and were told in a style which, if ever I write, I will try to adopt. The sentences are long, but the rhythm of the well-chosen language is so perfect that it is almost like a song. What a powerful imagination had these men! And how their stories delighted me! There were stories of Sultans who poisoned, Ministers who were strangled, Palace intrigues which ended in bloodshed, and descriptions of battles where conqueror and conquered were both crowned with the laurels of a hero. But I never for a moment thought of these tales but as fiction! Could the history of any country be so awful! Yet was not the story of the reign in which I was living even worse, only I was too young to know it? Were not the awful Armenian massacres more dreadful than anything the conteurs had ever described? Was not the bare awful truth around us more ghastly than any fiction? Indeed, it was. How can I impress upon your mind the anguish of our everyday life; our continual and haunting dread of what was coming; no one could imagine what it means except those Turkish women who, like ourselves, have experienced that life. Had we possessed the blind fatalism of our grandmothers, we should probably have suffered less, but with culture, as so often happens, we began to doubt the wisdom of the Faith which should have been our consolation. A Turkish Child with a Slave A Turkish Child with a Slave Until a Turkish girl is veiled, she leads the life of an ordinary European child. She even goes to Embassy balls. This is a great mistake, as it gives her a taste for a life which after she is veiled must cease. A Turkish House A Turkish House The Harem windows are on the top floor to the right. You will say, that I am sad—morbid even; but how can I be otherwise when the best years of my life have been poisoned by the horrors of the Hamidian régime. There are some sentiments which, when transplanted, make me suffer even as they did in the land of my birth. I am thinking particularly of the agony of waiting. Do you think there is in any language a sentence stronger and more beautiful than that which terminates in Loti’s Pêcheurs d’Islande—the tragedy of waiting—with these words, “Il ne revint jamais”? I mention this to you because my whole youth had been so closely allied with this very anguish of waiting. Imagine for a moment a little Turkish Yali1 on the shores of the Bosphorus. It is dark, it is still, and for hours the capital of Turkey has been deep in slumber. Scarcely a star is in the sky, scarcely a light can be seen in the narrow and badly- paved streets of the town. I had been reading until very late—reading and thinking, thinking and reading to deaden the uneasiness I always felt when something was going to happen. What was coming this time? By a curious irony of fate, I had been reading in the Bible2 of Christ’s apostles whose eyes were heavy with sleep. But I could not sleep, and after a time I could not even read. This weary, weary waiting! So I rose from my bed and looked through my latticed windows at the beautiful Bosphorus, so calm and still, whilst my very soul was being torn with anguish. But what is that noise? What is that dim light slowly sailing up the Bosphorus? My heart begins to beat quickly, I try to call out, my voice chokes me. The caïque has stopped at our Yali. Now I know what it is. Four discreet taps at my father’s window, and his answer “I am coming.” Like a physician called to a dying patient, he dresses and hastily leaves the house. It is three o’clock in the morning à la Franque,3 but his master is not sleeping. Away yonder, in his fortress of Yildiz, the dreaded Sultan trembles even more than I. What does he want with my father? Will he be pacified this time as he has often been before? What if my father should have incurred the wrath of this terrible Sultan? The caïque moves away as silently as it came. Will my beloved father ever return? There is nothing to do but to go on waiting, waiting. * * * * * Let us change the scene. A Turkish official has arrived at our house, he has dared to come as far as the very door of the harem. He is speaking to my mother. “I am only doing my duty in seeing if your husband is here? I have every right to go up those harem stairs which you are guarding so carefully, look in all your rooms and cupboards. My duty is to find out where your husband is, and to report to his Majesty at once.” This little incident may sound insignificant to you, yet what a tragedy to us! What was to happen to the bread-winner of our family? What had my beloved father done? The explanation of it was simple enough. A certain Pasha had maligned him to the Sultan in a most disgraceful manner. And the Sultan might have believed it, had he not, by the merest chance, discovered that my father was at the Palace 34 35 36 37 38 when the Pasha so emphatically said he was elsewhere. On such slender evidence, the fate of our family was to be weighed! Would it mean exile for our father? Would we ever see him any more? Again I say, there was nothing to do but wait. * * * * * As we told you on Sunday, we Turkish women read a great deal of foreign literature, and this does not tend to make us any more satisfied with our lot. Amongst my favourite English books were Beatrice Harraden’s Ships that Pass in the Night,4 passages of which I know by heart, and Lady Mary Montagu’s Letters. Over and over again, and always with fresh interest, I read those charming and clever letters. Although they are the letters of another century, there is nothing in them to shock or surprise a Turkish woman of to-day in their criticism of our life. It is curious to notice, when reading Lady Mary’s Letters, how little the Turkey of to-day differs from the Turkey of her time; only, Turkey, the child that Lady Mary knew, has grown into a big person. There are two great ways, however, in which we have become too modern for Lady Mary’s book. In costume we are on a level with Paris, seeing we buy our clothes there; and as regards culture, we are perhaps more advanced than is the West, since we have so much leisure for study, and are not hampered with your Western methods. And yet how little we are known by the European critics! The people of the West still think of us women as requiring the services of the public letter-writer! They think of us also —we, who have so great an admiration for them, and interest ourselves in all they are doing—as one amongst many wives. Yet Polygamy (and here I say a Bismillah5 or prayer of thankfulness) has almost ceased to exist in Turkey. I know even you are longing to make the acquaintance of a harem, where there is more than one wife, but to-day the number of these establishments can be counted on five fingers. We knew intimately the wife of a Pasha who had more than one wife. He was forty years old, a well-known and important personage, and in his Palace beside his first wife were many slave-wives; the number increased from year to year. But again I repeat this is an exception. We used often to visit the poor wife, who since her marriage had never left her home, her husband being jealous of her, as he was of all the others; they were his possessions, and in order to err on the safe side, he never let them out. Our friend, the first wife, was very beautiful, though always ailing. Every time we went to see her, she was so grateful to us for coming, thanked us over and over again for our visit, and offered us flowers and presents of no mean value. And she looked so happy, continually smiling, and was so gentle and kind to all her entourage. She told our mother, however, of the sorrow that was gnawing at her heart-strings, and when she spoke of the Pasha she owned how much she had suffered from not being the favourite. She treated her rivals with the greatest courtesy. “It would be easy to forgive,” she said, “the physical empire that each in turn has over my husband, but what I feel most is that he does not consult me in preference to the others.” She had a son fifteen years old, whom she loved very dearly, but she seemed to care for the fourteen other children of the Pasha quite as much, and spoke of them all as “our children.” Although her husband had bought her as a slave, she had a certain amount of knowledge too, and she read a great deal in the evenings when she was alone, alas! only too often. The view of the Bosphorus, with the ships coming and going, was a great consolation to her, as it has been to many a captive. And she thanked Allah over and over again that she at least had this pleasure in life. I have often thought of this dear, sweet woman in my many moments of revolt, as one admires and reverences a saint, but I have never been able to imitate her calm resignation. Unlike our grandmothers, who accepted without criticism their “written fate,” we analysed our life, and discovered nothing but injustice and cruel, unnecessary sorrow. Resignation and culture cannot go together. Resignation has been the ruin of our country. There never would have been all this suffering, this perpetual injustice, but for resignation; and resignation was no longer possible for us, for our Faith was tottering. But I am not really pitying women more than men under the Hamidian régime. A man’s life is always in danger. Do you know, the Sultan was informed when your friend Kathleen came to see us? Every time our mother invited guests to the house, she was obliged to send the list to his Majesty, who, by every means, tried to prevent friends from meeting. Two or three Turks meeting together in a café were eyed with suspicion, and reported at head-quarters, so that rather than run risks they spent the evenings in the harems with their wives. One result, however, of this awful tyranny, was that it made the bonds which unite a Turkish family together stronger than anywhere else in the world. Can you imagine what it is to have detectives watching your house day and night? Can you imagine the exasperation one feels to think that one’s life is at the mercy of a wretched individual who has only to invent any story he likes and you are lost? Every calumny, however stupid and impossible, is listened to at head-quarters. The Sultan’s life-work (what a glorious record for posterity!) has been to have his poor subjects watched and punished. What his spies tell him he believes. No trial is necessary, he passes sentence according to his temper at the moment—either he has the culprit poisoned, or exiles him to the most unhealthy part of Arabia, or far away into the desert of Tripoli, and often the unfortunate being who is thus punished has no idea why he has been condemned. I shall always remember the awful impression I felt, when told with great caution that a certain family had disappeared. 39 40 41 42 43 The family consisted of the father, the mother, son and daughter, and a valet. They were my neighbours—quiet, unobtrusive people—and I thought all the more of them for that reason. One morning, when I looked out of my window, I saw my neighbour’s house was closed as if no one lived there. Without knowing what had happened to them, I became anxious, and discreetly questioned my eunuch, who advised me not to speak about them. It appeared, however, that in the night the police had made an inspection of the house, and no one has since then heard of its occupants, or dared to ask, for fear of themselves becoming “suspect.” I found out long after, from a cutting sent me from a foreign friend in Constantinople, that H. Bey’s house had been searched, and the police—and this in spite of the fact that he had been forbidden to write—had found there several volumes of verses, and he was condemned to ten years’ seclusion in a fortified castle at Bassarah. This will perhaps give you some idea of the conditions under which we were living. Constant fear, anguish without hope of compensation, or little chance of ever having anything better. That we preferred to escape from this life, in spite of the terrible risks we were running, and the most tragic consequences of our action, is surely comprehensible. If we had been captured it would only have meant death, and was the life we were leading worth while? We had taken loaded revolvers with us, to end our lives if necessary, remembering the example of one of our childhood friends, who tried to escape, but was captured and taken back to her husband, who shut her up till the end of her days in a house on the shores of the Marmora. You have paid a very pretty compliment to our courage. Yet, after all, does it require very much to risk one’s life when life is of so little value? In Turkey our existence is so long, so intolerably long, that the temptation to drop a little deadly poison in our coffee is often too great to withstand. Death cannot be worse than life, let us try death.—Your affectionate Zeyneb. CHAPTER III BEWILDERING EUROPE What a curious thing it was I found so much difficulty in answering Zeyneb’s letters. To send anything banal to my new friend I felt certain was to run the risk of ending the correspondence. She knew I was in sympathy with her; she knew I could understand, as well as any one, how awful her life must have been, but to have told her so would have offended her. Most of the reasons for her escape, every argument that could justify her action, she had given me, except one; and it was probably that “one” reason that had most influenced her. In due time probably she would tell me all, but if she did not, nothing I could do or say would make her, for Turkish women will not be cross-examined. One of them, when asked one day in a Western drawing-room “how many wives has your father?” answered, without hesitation, “as many as your husband, Madame.” Zeyneb had once told me that I succeeded in guessing so much the truth of what could not be put into words. She had on one occasion said “we never see our husbands until we are married,” and a little later “sometimes the being whose existence we have to share inspires us with a horror that can never be overcome.” Putting these two statements together, I was able to draw my own conclusions as to the “one” reason.... Poor little Zeyneb! It seemed to me from the end of her letter, that Zeyneb would have been grateful had I said that I approved of her action in leaving her own country. To have told her the contrary would not have helped matters in the least, and sooner or later she was sure to find out her mistake for herself. And who that noticed her enthusiasm for all she saw would have dreamt of the tragedy that was in her life? The innocent delight she had when riding on the top of a bus, and her jubilation at discovering an Egyptian Princess indulging in the same form of amusement! Zeyneb told me that economy was a word for which there was no equivalent in the Turkish language, so how could she be expected to practise an art which did not exist in her country? It was from her I had learnt the habit of answering her letters by telegram, and the result had been satisfactory. “Eagerly waiting for another letter,” I wired her. The following letter arrived: Fontainebleau, Oct. 1906. A few days after our arrival began in earnest a new experience for us. The “demands” for interviews from journalists— every post brought a letter. Many reporters, it is true, called without even asking permission; wanted to know our impressions of West Europe after eight days; the reasons why we had left Turkey; and other questions still more ignorant and extraordinary about harem life. When, however, we had conquered the absurd Oriental habit of being polite, we changed our address, and called 44 45 46/49 50 51 ourselves by Servian names. What an extraordinary lack of intelligence, it seemed, to suppose that in a few phrases could be related the history of the Turkish woman’s evolution; and the psychology of a state of mind which forces such and such a decision explained. How would it have been possible to give the one thousand and one private reasons connected with our action! And what would be the use of explaining all this to persons one hoped never to see again—persons by whom you are treated as a spectacle, a living spectacle, whose adventures will be retailed in a certain lady’s boudoir to make her “five o’clock” less dull? “What made you think of running away from Turkey?” asked one of these press detectives. He might as well have been saying to me, “You had on a blue dress the last time I saw you, why are you not wearing it to-day?” “Weren’t you sorry to leave your parents?” asked another. Did he suppose because we were Turks that we had hearts of stone. How could anyone, a complete stranger too, dare to ask such a question? And yet, angry as I was, this indiscretion brought tears to my eyes, as it always does when I think of that good-bye. “Good night, little girl,” said my father, on the eve of our departure. “Don’t be so long in coming to dine with us again. Promise that you will come one day next week.” I almost staggered. “I’ll try,” I answered. Every minute I felt that I must fling myself in his arms and tell him what I intended to do, but when I thought of our years and years of suffering, my mind was made up, and I kept back my tears. Do you see now, dear Englishwoman, why we appreciated your discreet interest in us, and how we looked forward to a friendship with you who have understood so well, that there can be tears behind eyes that smile, that a daughter’s heart is not necessarily hard because she breaks away from the family circle, nor is one’s love for the Fatherland any the less great because one has left it forever? All this we feel you have understood, and again and again we thank you.— Your affectionate Zeyneb. Fontainebleau, Oct. 1906. You ask me to give you my first impression of France (wrote Zeyneb), but it is not so much an impression of France, as the impression of being free, that I am going to write. What I would like to describe to you is the sensation of intense joy I felt as I stood for the first time before a window wide open that had neither lattice-work nor iron bars. It was at Nice. We had just arrived from our terrible journey. We had gone from hotel to hotel, but no one would give us shelter even for a few hours. Was that Christian charity, to refuse a room because I was thought to be dying? I cannot understand this sentiment. A friend explained that a death in an hotel would keep other people away. Why should the Christians be so frightened of death? I was too ill at the moment to take in our awful situation, and quite indifferent to the prospect of dying on the street. Useless it was, however, our going to any more hotels; it was waste of time and waste of breath, and I had none of either to spare. No one advised us, and no one seemed to care to help us, until, by the merest chance, my sister remembered our friends in Belgrade had given us a doctor’s address. We determined to find him if we possibly could. In half an hour’s time we found our doctor, who sent us at once to a sanatorium. There they could not say, “You are too ill to come in,” seeing illness was a qualification for admittance. But I shall not linger on those first moments in Europe: they were sad beyond words. It must have been early when I awoke the next morning, to find the sun forcing its way through the white curtains, and flooding the whole room with gold. Ill as I was, the scene was so beautiful that I got out of bed and opened wide the window, and what was my surprise to find that there was no lattice-work between me and the blue sky, and the orange trees, and the hills of Nice covered with cypress and olives? The sanatorium garden was just one mass of flowers, and their sweet perfume filled the room. With my eyes I drank in the scene before me, the hills, and the sea, and the sky that never seemed to end. A short while after, my sister came in. She also from her window had been watching at the same time as I. But no explanation was necessary. For the first time in our lives we could look freely into space—no veil, no iron bars. It was worth the price we had paid, just to have the joy of being before that open window. I sign myself in Turkish terms of affection.—Your carnation and your mouse, Zeyneb. CHAPTER IV SCULPTURE’S FORBIDDEN JOY—M. RODIN AT HOME ZEYNEB and Melek left Fontainebleau and travelled to Switzerland by short stages; their first halting-place was Paris. 52 53 54 55 56/59 They stayed for a week in the gay capital, and during that time Melek and I visited some of the principal churches and monuments. “Sight-seeing” was what the Hanoums6 then called “freedom.” To them it meant being out of the cage; tasting those pleasures which for so many years had been forbidden. Their lesson was yet to be learnt. We went one afternoon to see M. Rodin. Rising, summer and winter, at a very early hour, the sculptor had finished the greater part of his work for the day when we arrived; the model was resting, and he was talking with the students, who had come to discuss their difficulties with him. To me this opportunity given to young talent of actually seeing a master at work was such a happy idea, I made the remark to M. Rodin. “If only those who succeed,” he said, “be it in the difficult accomplishment of their daily task, or in the pursuit of some glorious end, had the courage to speak of their continual efforts, their struggles, and their suffering, what a glorious lesson in energy it would be for those who were striving for a place amongst the workers. “Those who have arrived should say to those who are starting: At each corner, there is suffering; at each turning some fresh struggle begins, and there is sorrow all the time. We who have conquered have passed by that road, you can go no other way. “But when once they have got to their destination, the successful men are silent. And they who are still on the way get tired of the daily toil, knowing not that they who have arrived, have had the very same experience.” From a sketch by Auguste Rodin. Les Désenchantées From a sketch by Auguste Rodin. Many beautiful works attracted our attention that afternoon, the most striking being Mary Magdalene, in repentant anguish at the feet of her Master, Jesus; the Prodigal Son with his hands clasped in useless regret towards a wasted and ill-spent life. Then there was a nude (I forget the name by which she will be immortalised), her wonderful arms in a movement of supplication, so grand, that the Eastern woman and I together stretched out our hands towards it in appreciation. The sculptor saw our movement, understood and thanked us; a few moments later, conscious of our action, we blushed. What had we done? I, the Scotch puritan, had actually admired one of those beautiful nudes before which we, as children, shut our eyes. But the Oriental? “In my country these marble figures are not seen,” she explained, “‘the face and form created by God must not be copied by man,’ said our Prophet, and for centuries all good Moslems have obeyed this command.” “Do you know the legend of the Prophet’s son-in-law Osman?” she said. “No,” I answered, “please tell me.” “One day, long, long ago,” related Melek, “when the followers of Christ had left their church, Osman entered and broke all the sacred images except one. Then when he had finished his work of destruction, he placed his axe at the foot of the figure he had left intact. “The next day, the Christians discovering what had happened, tried to find the guilty person. Osman’s air of calm triumph betrayed him. “‘What have you done?’ they cried, rushing towards him. “‘Nothing,’ he answered, ‘I am innocent; it is your Divinity who has destroyed everything.’ “‘Our Divinity cannot move.’ “‘If your Divinity is lifeless,’ answered Osman, ‘why do you pray to a God of stone?’7 * * * * * “In the Meandre valley in Asia,” went on Melek, “the sculptured heads on the tombs are cursed. At Ephesus and Herapolis the Turcomans turn away in horror from the faces that are engraven in marble; and never are to be seen these Western pictures in stone, and statues erected to the immortal memory of heroes.” * * * * * The two Hanoums left for Switzerland. CHAPTER V 60 61 62 63 64/65 THE ALPS AND ARTIFICIALITY Territet, Dec. 1906. I WONDER if you know what life is like in a big caravanserai on the shores of Lake Leman in December. This hotel is filled from the ground to the sixth floor, and from east to west with people of all ages, who have a horror of being where they ought to be—that is to say, in their own homes—and who have come to the Swiss mountains with but one idea—that of enjoying themselves. What can be the matter with their homes, that they are all so anxious to get away? I have been more than a month in this place, and cannot get used to it. After the calm of the Forest of Fontainebleau and the quiet little house where, for the first time, we tasted the joys of real rest, this existence seems to me strange and even unpleasant. Indeed, it makes me tired even to think of the life these people lead and their expense of muscular force to no purpose. But the doctor wished me to come here, and I, who long above everything else to be strong, am hoping the pure air will cure me. On the terrace which overlooks the lake I usually take my walks, but when I have taken about a hundred steps I have to sit down and rest. Certainly I would be no Alpinist. One thing to which I never seem to accustom myself is my hat. It is always falling off. Sometimes, too, I forget that I am wearing a hat and lean back in my chair; and what an absurd fashion—to lunch in a hat! Still, hats seem to play a very important rôle in Western life. Guess how many I possess at present—twenty. I cannot tell whom I have to thank, since the parcels come anonymously, but several kind friends, hearing of our escape, have had the thoughtfulness and the same original idea of providing us with hats. Hardly a day passes but someone sends us a hat; it is curious, but charming all the same. Do they think we are too shy to order hats for ourselves, and are still wandering about Switzerland in our tcharchafs?8 * * * * * Every morning the people here row on the lake, or play tennis—tennis being one of their favourite forms of amusement. I watch them with interest, yet even were I able I should not indulge in this unfeminine sport. Women rush about the court, from left to right, up and down, forwards and backwards. Their hair is all out of curl, often it comes down; and they wear unbecoming flat shoes and men’s shirts and collars and ties. The ball comes scarcely over the net, a woman rushes forward, her leg is bared to the sight of all; by almost throwing herself on the ground, she hits it back over the net, and then her favourite man (not her husband, I may mention), with whom she waltzes and rows and climbs, chooses this moment to take a snapshot of her most hideous attitude. What an unpleasant idea to think a man should possess such a souvenir! And yet after tennis these people do not rest—on they go, walking and climbing; and what is the use of it all?—they only come back and eat four persons’ share of lunch. At meal-time, the conversation is tennis and climbing, and climbing and tennis; and again I say, I cannot understand why they employ all this muscular force to no higher end than to give themselves an unnatural appetite. A friend of my father’s, who is staying here, tells me the wonderful climbing he has accomplished. He explains to me that he has faced death over and over again, and only by the extraordinary pluck of his guide has his life been spared. “And did you at last reach your friend?” I asked. “What friend?” “Was it not to rescue some friend that you faced death?” “No,” he said, “for pleasure.” “For pleasure,” I repeated, and he burst out laughing. He spoke of this as if it were something of which to be proud, “and his oft-repeated encounters with death,” he said, “only whetted his appetite for more.” Was life then of so little value to this man that he could risk it so easily? Naturally in trying to explain this curious existence I compare it with our life in the harem, and the more I think the more am I astonished. What I should like to ask these people, if I dared, is, are they really satisfied with their lot, or are they only pretending to be happy, as we in Turkey pretended to be happy? Are they not tired of flirting and enjoying themselves so uselessly? We in Turkey used to envy the women of the West. We, who were denied the rights of taking part in charitable works, imagined that the European women not only dared to think, but carry their schemes into action for the betterment of their fellow-creatures. But are these women here an exception? Do they think, or do they not? I wonder myself whether they have not found life so empty that they are endeavouring to crush out their better selves by using up their physical energy. How is it possible, I ask myself, that, after all this exercise, they have strength enough to dance till midnight. Life to me at present is all out of focus; in time perhaps I shall see it in its proper proportions. 66 67 68 69 We go down sometimes to see the dancing. Since I have been here, I perfectly understand why you never find time to go to balls, if dancing in your country is anything like it is here. When we were children of twelve, before we were veiled, we were invited to dances given in Constantinople. I have danced with young attachés at the British Embassy, yet, child though I was, I saw nothing clever in their performance. All the people at this dance are grown up, not one is under twenty—some are old gentlemen of fifty—yet they romp like children all through the evening till deep into the night, using up their energy and killing time, as if their life depended on the rapidity with which they hopped round the room without sitting down or feeling ill. The waltz is to my mind senseless enough, but the lancers? “The ring of roses” the little English girls play is more dignified. It seems to me that women must forfeit a little of the respect that men owe to them when they have romped with them at lancers. To-night, I have found out, dancing here is after all an excuse for flirting. In a very short while couples who were quite unacquainted with one another become very intimate. “Oh! I could not wish for a better death than to die waltzing,” I heard one young woman say to her partner. His wishes were the same. Surely the air of Switzerland does not engender ambition! A Turkish Dancer A Turkish Dancer A Turkish Lady dressed as a Greek Dancer. A Turkish Lady dressed as a Greek Dancer Turkish women spend much of their time dressing up. One gentleman came and asked me if I could dance. I said, “Yes, I can dance,” laying particular emphasis on the word dance. But I do not think he understood. “Will you dance with me?” he asked. “No,” I replied, “I dance by myself.” He stared at me as if I were mad—probably he took me for a professional dancer. * * * * * When you come to stay with us at Nice, after we have had enough of this pure air to...