“THIS IS WHO I AM:” A Phenomenological Study of the Lived Experiences of Black Gay Men With an Undergraduate Degree from a Historically Black College or University A dissertation presented to the faculty of the College of Education of Ohio University In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree Doctor of Philosophy Obie Ford III November 2007 2 © 2007 Obie Ford III All Rights Reserved 3 This dissertation titled “THIS IS WHO I AM:” A Phenomenological Study of the Lived Experiences of Black Gay Men With an Undergraduate Degree from a Historically Black College or University by OBIE FORD III has been approved for the Department of Counseling and Higher Education and the College of Education by __________________________________ Robert B. Young Professor of Counseling and Higher Education __________________________________ Renée A. Middleton Dean, College of Education 4 ABSTRACT FORD III, OBIE, Ph.D., November 2007, Higher Education “THIS IS WHO I AM:” A Phenomenological Study of the Lived Experiences of Black Gay Men With an Undergraduate Degree from a Historically Black College or University (365 pp.) Director of Dissertation: Robert B. Young This is a phenomenological study of the lived experiences of four gay Black men with an undergraduate degree from a historically Black college or university (HBCU). The goal of the study was to learn about the individual experiences of these men through self-reflections. Data for the study was collected primarily through an autobiographical sketch that each participant completed and individual interviews that were conducted with each participant. The autobiographical sketches and interviews were transcribed and studied for emerging themes. Eight major themes emerged from this research, which included: deciding to attend an HBCU; coming out at an HBCU; witnessing harassment and homophobia during the college years; being a Black gay male in the Black community; being Black and gay in mainstream society; coping strategies; the significance of attending an HBCU; and summing up the HBCU experience. Each major theme had a series of sub-themes. Disclosing their sexual orientation subjected the research participants to witnessing harassment and homophobia during their college years. All of the participants either witnessed harassment of fraternity members, friends, college authorities, and family members. 5 In the general Black community, the participants identified a number of issues they faced as Black gay men. “Black masculinity” was a phrase that most of the participants used when describing the expectation of Black men in the general Black community. The participants felt that mainstream White society was generally more accepting of homosexuality than the Black community. However, the participants also felt that they were victims of racism in mainstream White communities, both heterosexual and homosexual. The significance of attending an HBCU centered around finding support. All of the research participants identified their friendship circles as their main support system. Each participant also identified his religious and/or spiritual connection as being a support system. Life after an HBCU included each participant feeling that his HBCU indoctrinated him with: desire to give back to the community, passion to seek further education and gainful employment, and pride in being part of the HBCU tradition. Approval: _______________________________________________________________ Robert B. Young Professor of Counseling and Higher Education 6 I dedicate this page to both my father, Obie Ford, Jr., and my grandfather, Obie Ford, Sr. For all that I have accomplished, I feel your collective smiles upon me. I am honored to embody your name. 7 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS First and foremost, I thank my higher power for providing me the will and strength to complete my doctorate. It is because of your wonderful blessings, your unconditional love, and your almighty purposes that I am all that I am today. I am so grateful for my beautiful mother who taught me to pursue my passions no matter the circumstances. Mom, you have seen and been through a lot. Thank you for all that you have given me. It is through your life that I have learned incredible lessons about how to live my life. I love you so much. To my sister, you mean more to me than you know. I am so proud of all that you have accomplished. You are a wonderful role model. I love you. To my only nephew, you are a blessing, and I love you. I am the first in our family to earn a doctoral degree, perhaps you will be the second. I give a special thank you to my doctoral committee members: Chair, Dr. Robert Young, Dr. Marc Cutright, Dr. Pete Mather, and Dr. Molly Schaller. You all believed in both my research topic and me. That means more than I can express in words. Dr. Young, thank you for mentoring, challenging, and supporting me. Dr. Schaller, thank you for all of your advice, constructive criticism, and support. Thank you to the original Cycle VIII faculty, Dr. Robert Young, Dr. Marc Cutright, Dr. Valerie Conley, and Dr. Dafina L. Stewart. You all are awesome! Dr. Adah Ward Randolph, thank you for exposing me to the qualitative paradigm! Dr. Gordon Brooks, thank you for the “A” in the advanced quantitative statistics course! 8 I am so grateful for my friends throughout this journey. You all have been so patient and understanding (for the most part…haha). I am quite fortunate to have “family,” friends, and angels like you all! Tarra, “you had me at hello.” Thank you for all of your love, support, laughter, and rides to and from the airport! I love you. Jen and Shelly, thank you for so many years of friendship. We truly have that zodiac connection! We have been there for each other through so much. I love you guys. Caprice, my “twin,” you are truly a gem. Thank goodness you are in my corner. Erin, I admire you immensely, and I know the world is going to be a better place once you are running things. Taira (a.k.a., “Dahnita”), you are wonderfully dynamic. Your energy is contagious. Liz, Katie, Tracy, and Merrari, thank you for all the good times, and great photos! I always smile when I am around you all. Jason, we go way back. Our friendship began over 20 years ago in the Baptist church of all places! I love you like a brother. Aurelio, we lost each other, but found each other again, cousin! Love ya! Nkosi, I told you that I would love you forever! It is now officially in print! Thank you so much for all of your help, and your friendship. Monroe, you are my darling friend, vacation bud, and fashionista, thank you for always being there. I love you. Corey, you really came through for me! Thank you so much for all of your help and friendship. Jim, thanks for being the best movie buddy. Now that I have gotten through my dissertation, I can go to the movies again! Dan Lee, thank you for keeping me grounded in laughter. You are my “boo!” Raphael, I am so grateful that you entered my life. You are a beautiful man, and I have learned a lot from you. Tengo gusto 9 de usted. Yo te amo. Tony C., you have taught me so much! Thank you for the years of friendship and smiles. Much love to you! To Mr. Doug Castle (my middle school principal and mentor), Mrs. Lee Hatch (my high school guidance counselor and mentor), Ms. Baker (my third grade teacher), Dr. David Frego (my grad school professor and mentor), and the Moyer family (my financial advisors and mentors): you each came into my life at very critical moments. Each of you inspired me to see something so much grander within myself. Thank you! Thank you to my employer, Columbus State Community College and my department, Advising Services for continued support. Dr. Benjamin Williams, Director of Advising Services, thank you for being flexible and accommodating to my needs as both a full-time employee and a full-time doctoral student. Dr. Janet Rogers, Dean of Student Life, thank you for your support. Chandra Bell, my friend and colleague, thank you for all of your support and laughter (during down time at work, of course)! I cannot wait to see my name on your acknowledgments page! Last, but certainly not least, I salute the research participants of this study: N’diol, Quentin, Thompson, and Zion. You all are remarkably brave, and incredibly inspirational. I am in awe of your collective courage, determination, and strength; and I am extremely honored and appreciative to have had the opportunity to share in your reflections. 10 TABLE OF CONTENTS Page ABSTRACT……………………………………………………………………………….4 DEDICATION…………………………………………………………………………….6 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS………………………………………………………………...7 LIST OF TABLES……………………………………………………………………….14 CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION………………………………………………………..15 The Study………………………………………………………………….……..15 Background of the Study………………………………………………………...15 Statement of the Problem………………………………………………………...19 Significance of the Study………………………………………………………...20 Rationale for Qualitative Studies………………………………………………...22 Definition of Terms………………...…………………………………………….22 CHAPTER 2: REVIEW OF LITERATURE…………………………………………….25 Introduction………………………………………………………………………25 Issues of Membership in the Black Community…………………………………26 Theoretical Perspectives and Models of Identity Development…………………38 Gay Students in College………………………………………………………….53 Summary…………………………………………………………………………6 CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY……………………………………………………….68 Introduction………………………………………………………………………68 Rationale for Design……………………………………………………………..68