Thank you for downloading this Atria Books eBook. Join our mailing list and get updates on new releases, deals, bonus content and other great books from Atria Books and Simon & Schuster. CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP or visit us online to sign up at eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com Contents 1. Aren’t You El Cinco’s Lady? 2. The Rivera Way 3. Taking the Stage 4. My Early Business Sense 5. My First Love 6. Why Are You Crying, Baby? 7. Breaking Away 8. Grant Me the Serenity 9. God Never Gives Us More Than We Can Handle 10. Where Are My Malandrinas At? 11. Lupillo Rivera’s Sister 12. Busting Out 13. La Gran Señora 14. Pinche Pelón 15. Two More Years 16. Speaking Out 17. Look at Me 18. I Will Bring You Home 19. “Celibacy” and Sex Tapes 20. Beso! Beso! 21. Letting Go 22. The Fairy Tale and the Reality Show 23. Butterfly of the Hood Acknowledgments Photographs About Jenni Rivera We want to dedicate this book to YOU. Thank you for not only taking the time to read our mother’s life story, but for allowing yourself to feel inspired by the woman we not only love but admire. A special thank you to all of our mother’s fans, because we know her life wouldn’t have been half as blessed if it wasn’t for the love and support you all gave her. We love you. Jenni’s little soldiers: Chiquis, Jacqie, Mikey, Jenicka and Johnny 1 Aren’t You El Cinco’s Lady? Ahora estoy, entre luces hermosas mas cuando estaba sola, sé que Dios me cuidó. (Now I am among the beautiful lights, but when I was alone, it was God who took care of me.) —from “Mariposa de Barrio” Sunday, January 26, 1997 The night began at El Farallon, a popular nightclub in Lynwood, California. El Farallon was where you went to hang out with your friends and get lost in the music, forgetting everything else for just a few hours. It was where I met Juan López, my second husband, after locking eyes with him across the dance floor. Most important, it was where many regional Mexican singers launched their careers. And it was where I decided to shoot my first music video, for my song “La Chacalosa” (The Jackal Woman). My father had done business with the owner of El Farallon, Emilio Franco. Franco said we could shoot the video before the doors opened at 9:00 p.m. At the time, my dad, known to many as Don Pedro Rivera, was one of the biggest producers of regional Mexican music. He had always been my biggest supporter, especially in those early days when I was struggling to break out. He had plans to buy commercial airtime for this video to promote “La Chacalosa.” I wasn’t making much money with my music. It was difficult to get my songs on the radio because I refused to fit into the mold of the typical Latina singer. I should have been younger, thinner, softer, quieter, dumber. In the Latino community, female singers were supposed to be beautiful and superskinny, and their music was supposed to be silly. Latina singers were meant to be looked at and not really heard. But I wasn’t eye candy. I was considered overweight. I was considered not to have vocal talent. And I was singing strong, ballsy corridos (folk tales, often involving drug dealers). I probably intimidated the men. No other women were singing corridos. It was like a woman rapping. Women weren’t thought to be tough enough, or real enough, to be singing about the gritty world of drug dealers. The people in the industry tried to make me change. If you want to make it in this genre, they said, you have to do this or that. A lot of women had to do sexual favors to get played on the radio. Fuck that. I wouldn’t do it. I wanted to make it based on my talent or not at all. At the time we shot the video for “La Chacalosa,” I was working as a Realtor to support my three children and myself. Music was secondary. Juan López, the man I later married, was serving a seven-month prison sentence after being charged with smuggling immigrants. He was set to be released in three weeks. Because I didn’t want to be alone, my sister, Rosie, and her friend Gladyz came with me when I would go out at night for a music gig. On this night they sat in the nearly empty club watching me do several takes of the song. I thought we would be done by nine, but by the time we finished taping at around nine thirty, a few customers had started to trickle into the bar area. Before we left I went to the ladies’ room. As I exited the restroom, a man grabbed my right arm to make sure he had my attention. “Aren’t you El Cinco’s lady?” he said. El Cinco (The Five) was Juan López’s nickname. I distinctly remember looking into this man’s green eyes as he tugged roughly at my arm. He was making me upset and he knew it. “Leave me the fuck alone,” I told him as I broke away, wondering how he knew Juan and why he cared if I was Juan’s lady. I picked up my things and walked out of the club with Rosie and Gladyz. I was in a bit of a rush because they were both still in high school, and this was a school night. I wanted to get them home as quickly as possible so we wouldn’t get in trouble and they would be allowed to hang out with me whenever they wanted. I was never one to have many friends, especially since Juan scared many of them away with his temper and his rude behavior. Now that he was incarcerated, I was a loner. Hanging out with the girls was fun and helped keep me busy until his release. First I dropped Gladyz off at her house on Walnut Avenue in North Long Beach, then I dropped Rosie off at our parents’ house on Ellis Street, just a few blocks away. It was only 10:30, so we were in the clear. Once I made sure Rosie was in the house, I turned up the music and began the drive back home. I was living in beautiful, gangsteriffic Compton. Being a Realtor, I had bought a house there as an investment and decided to live in it for a while. It wasn’t the best neighborhood, but I was happy to have a place to call my own. I couldn’t wait to