THE TEN Commandments The Significance of God's Laws in Everyday Life Dr. Laura Schlessinger and Rabbi Stewart Vogel References The two versions of the Bible referred to in this text are: Old Testament: The Stone edition of the Tanach, part of the Artscroll series, published by Mesorah Publications Ltd., 1998. New Testament: New Jerusalem Bible, published by Doubleday, 1990. For Lew and Deryk, who have shared the journey. (L.S.) For my wife Rodi, who is my true partner in life: “and they shall be as one flesh” (Genesis 2:24); and my children Talya, Eliezer, Ari, and Avi: “Children are a heritage from God.” (Psalm 127:3). (S.V.) Contents E-Book Extra: Dr. Laura on Family and Relationships 320 References ii Acknowledgments v Preface ix Introduction xi The First Commandment 1 The Second Commandment 22 The Third Commandment 62 The Fourth Commandment 94 The Fifth Commandment 127 The Sixth Commandment 173 The Seventh Commandment 207 The Eighth Commandment 235 The Ninth Commandment 268 The Tenth Commandment 297 Epilogue 317 About the Author 324 Also by Dr. Laura Schlessinger 325 Cover Credits 326 Copyright 327 About the Publisher 328 Acknowledgments This month marks the fourth anniversary of my radio program's international syndication. It has been a fascinating broadcast journey from a local program on KFI, Los Angeles, with a format some termed “shrink-talk” to what I have termed a “moral health” program. I “preach, teach, and nag” about morals, values, ethics, and principles. The evolution of this format followed my personal religious journey. I began on air some twenty-three years ago, first as a civilian, then later as a trained and licensed marriage and family therapist. Religiously, a product of an “inter­ faithless marriage,” it took most of my adulthood to work my way into a profound belief in God. Rabbi Stewart Vogel provided my first guidance and support for this effort. At our first meeting, he gently chided me that “feeling Jewish” was no substitute for education and practice. My son, Deryk, and I formally converted to Judaism through the Conservative University of Judaism program in Los Angeles headed by Rabbi Neil Weinberg, a wonderfully enthusiastic and knowledgeable teacher. After hearing my program in Ottawa, I received a delightful vi / THE TEN COMMANDMENTS fax from Rabbi Reuven Bulka, an Orthodox rabbi, prodigious author, and fellow radio broadcaster. After developing a phone and fax friendship for a number of years, he mentored my fam- ily's Judaic studies, culminating in a family (Lew, Deryk, and me) conversion to Orthodox Judaism in 1998. We accomplished this Herculean feat with the tutelage and support of Rabbi Eli Schochet and his wife, Penina. I have been encouraged by the strong and touching support I have received from the Christian community for my program as well as for my personal religious growth. The number of nuns, priests, pastors, ministers, lay teachers, and Christian folks who have corresponded with me over these four years has been in­ spiring; I am moved and grateful. It proves that people sincere about their love and awe of God are ultimately of one mind. Since it is largely through my radio program that I have the opportunity to communicate and “nag,” I am, of course, grateful to those who make it possible: Premiere Radio (Steve Lehman, Kraig Kitchin, and Greg Noack); Multiverse Networks (David Landau and Ken Williams); my personal, magnificent staff (Keven Bellows, Lisa Medel, Amir Henrickson, and DeWayne McDaniel); and my on-air support (Carolyn Holt and Dan Mandis). I forgive Diane Reverand (aka “The Reverand Diane”), my editor and publisher, for putting in so many commas and taking out so many parentheses. This is our fourth book together—ima- gine! I appreciate her patience, insight, criticism (most of the time), and enthusiasm. My gratitude to my husband, Lew, and son, Deryk, for being the loves of my life is something I tell them personally…so, enough said. Blessings to my dear friend, Patti Edwards, a spir­ itual soul-sister. And infinite gratitude to my audience. Thank you for strug­ gling with me…for, besides God, we are all we have left. —DR. LAURA C. SCHLESSINGER Acknowledgments / vii There are many paths in life I could have chosen. It was the love of Judaism demonstrated by my grandparents Abe and Betty Jabkowski (of blessed memory) and my early experiences with them that planted the seed for my later commitment to a religious life. Dr. David Elcott recognized my potential and taught me how to be a passionate and committed religious school teacher. Later, rabbis Robert Wexler and Elliot Dorff awakened a sense of purpose through their encouragement to become a rabbi. I am indebted to their wisdom and friendship. I have been privileged to serve synagogues with loving and committed congregants who have made being a rabbi a fulfilling experience. My work at Temple Israel Center (White Plains, NY) and Valley Beth Shalom (Encino, CA) allowed me to be part of model synagogues and learn from the best. As spiritual leader of Temple Aliyah (Woodland Hills, CA), my relationship with the congregation can only be described as ideal. With excellent professionals and dedicated congregants, we are creating a synagogue that emphasizes community and Jewish commitment. Every day brings the blessings of people who share their lives with me and enrich mine in the process. Much of my contribution to this book evolved from the sermons and teachings that I shared during the past several years. This book has been a labor of love. Collaborating with Dr. Schlessinger brought us together for many hours of learning, sharing, and writing. Her insight and friendship have been an important part of my life during the process. I am grateful to Dr. Elliot Dorff and Leslie Gilbert-Lurie for their comments and to Rabbi Naomi Levy for her encouragement. Their friendships have been instrumental in my life. Many clergy responded to questions on the Ten Commandments and helped us understand their diverse interpretations and applications. I am particularly grateful to Monsignor Paul Dotson for his wisdom and friend­ ship. One of the most important people who brought sanity to my life during the writing of this book viii / THE TEN COMMANDMENTS was my secretary, Barbara Schwartz. Without her my life would be a primordial chaos. I have always been taught the importance of family. My par­ ents, Pearl and Bill Vogel, make it easy to fulfill the Fifth Com­ mandment. With love and encouragement they have always been there with support and shared in my successes. It takes an entire family to raise a child, and I am indebted to my entire family who has given me a lifetime of love and friendship. With my four sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, and all their offspring, life is a series of large family celebrations. I was fortunate in my marriage to not only gain a remarkable wife but also another wonderful set of parents. Shirley and Eric Mauer are always there for family and are the most non-intrusive in-laws one could ever hope for. I am most grateful for the blessing of my wife, Rodi. Life with her is a wonderful journey that gets better every day. Her intel­ ligence, zest for life, and remarkable parenting skills are an in­ spiration to me. She brings balance and meaning to a hectic professional life. My children, Talya, Eliezer, Ari, and Avi, teach me so much about life every day. It is remarkable how such di­ verse children can be created from the same genetic material. I can only hope that the values espoused in this book will guide their lives. And finally I am grateful to God for giving me a life that has exceeded all my expectations. —RABBI STEWART VOGEL