MANIPULATION LEGAL NOTICE Copyright (c) 2019 Arthur Horn. All rights are reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced or duplicated using any form whether mechanical, electronic, or otherwise. No portion of this book may be transmitted, stored in a retrieval database, or otherwise made available in any manner whether public or private unless specific permission is granted by the publisher. Vector illustration credit: vecteezy.com This book does not offer advice, but merely provides information. The author offers no advice whether medical, financial, legal, or otherwise, nor does the author encourage any person to pursue any specific course of action discussed in this book. This book is not a substitute for professional advice. The reader accepts complete and sole responsibility for the manner in which this book and its contents are used. The publisher and the author will not be held liable for any damages caused. Manipulation Dark Psychology to Manipulate and Control People By: Arthur Horn Contents Introduction What Is Manipulation? Basic Ideas Manipulation Vs Influence Manipulation Vs Persuasion Defining Manipulation Examples of Manipulation Advertising Military Strategy The Professional World Personal Relationships Advantages of Manipulation Achieve Your Goals Help Others Guard Yourself Against the Manipulation of Others Manipulation Fundamentals Goals Your Goals The Goals of Others Actions Tools Power Persuasion Deception Irrational Behavior Manifestations of Manipulation The Carrot and the Stick Emotional Manipulation Charisma Ethical Considerations Deception Abuse Honor The Ends Vs The Means Intent and Unscrupulousness The Law Methodology Step 1 – Define Your Goal(s) Step 2 – Map Out Your Paths to Success Step 3 – Gather Information Step 4 – Identify Opportunities and Threats Opportunities Threats Step 5 – Take Action Step 6 – Learn and Improve Analysis Self-Analysis Analyzing Others Cold Reading Body Language Facial Expressions Reading Body Language Introduction This book explores the theory of manipulation by breaking down manipulation into its component parts, forming useful, objective definitions and offering practical advice for manipulating others. The first part of the book is primarily concerned with introducing ideas and explaining them, in order to form a grounding for the practical sections of the book later on. It is important to remember that much of the information is general, because effective manipulation requires actions which are situation specific. Rather than telling you what to do, this book will give you the ability to form effective manipulation strategies, whatever your goals and situation. Examples are included to provide context to some of the general advice in the book, illustrating how to apply the knowledge in a practical sense. In addition, the book covers areas relevant to forming and executing effective manipulation strategies, including analysis, cold reading and body language. The book does not define manipulation as something inherently bad, despite its negative connotations. Ethical issues surrounding manipulation are addressed in a dedicated chapter. After reading the book, you can expect to have greater insight into your own actions and the actions of others. You will have a strong grounding in the mechanics of manipulation, allowing you to make your own decisions about manipulating others, and recognize when others are manipulating you. Unlike many charlatans, who claim to have shortcuts to recognize when people are lying, and make others bend to your every command, this book is honest about its limitations and recommends caution where it is sensible. What Is Manipulation? It of primary importance to establish a clear definition of manipulation for the purposes of this book. Without understanding exactly what constitutes manipulation, there will be a great deal of difficulty in separating instances of manipulation and other forms of influence. While you probably have your own idea of what counts as manipulation, it is important that you adopt the book’s definition, in order to make sense of the practical advice in later chapters. Basic Ideas In a broad sense, manipulation is the effort to affect the behavior or perception of others. Most definitions extend that to include “via the use of abusive, deceptive or otherwise exploitative means” or something similar, as a means of differentiating between manipulation and other influencing behaviors, such as persuasion. That raises even more questions, such as what constitutes “exploitative”. Deception is relatively easy to define as a willful concealment or alteration of the truth. But does deception really preclude persuasion? At a job interview, you probably won’t mention the times you came in late to work at your previous job due to hangovers; is that manipulation? You could argue that anyone hiring for a job is already operating on the understanding that people are likely to highlight their positive traits, and draw attention away from the negatives. In that sense, it isn’t necessarily dishonest to omit certain information in that situation. So expectation can also play a part in determining the ethics of manipulation and where the line is drawn between manipulation and other forms of influence. Putting ethics aside for now, there is another word, in that broad definition, worthy of attention. Defining manipulation as an “effort” suggests that manipulation is still manipulation regardless of success or failure – the act of manipulation is defined as the attempt. Ironically, those least successful at manipulating others, who are most frequently discovered, are more likely to gain a reputation as manipulative than those who succeed. You can probably point to someone in your orbit, a relative or co-worker perhaps, who you consider to be manipulative. Yet, consider how others view them. Are they well known as a manipulator? Does this impact their success? The answer to this, too, may be complicated. If someone is considered by their peers at work to be manipulative and yet holds sway over the boss, they might still be judged successful. When thinking about manipulating others, it’s important to define clear goals. This will allow you to make rational, objective decisions, which is key to success. At this point, there are too many questions and too few answers. The remainder of this chapter will tie up some loose ends, and establish a definition that will give bearing for the rest of the book. Manipulation Vs Influence The modern world has adopted the term influencer for people with a large social media following, capable of influencing others with their content. It doesn’t take a particularly critical mind to recognize the source of this term as advertising. As consumer behavior evolves, advertisers have taken note and increasingly look to harness the power of influencers to gain attention for products. This is done variously through paid or unpaid sponsorships, promotional deals and agreements. In some cases, influencers disclose these agreements while, in others, they don’t. Ethical questions are again raised, particularly if an influencer is ostensibly just a happy consumer but secretly on the payroll of the company which sells the product. Surely this whole moral quandary could have been avoided, if advertisers instead coined the term manipulator! Yet it’s hardly surprising that they didn’t. What this highlights is that, although people expect advertisers to be manipulative, it is still unthinkable that they would admit to it. Instagram stars happily list themselves as influencer on their profile page with seemingly no negative connotations. But the goals of many influencers, especially those who work with advertisers, are fundamentally manipulative. It’s not even a grey-area issue. Influencers aim to shift products to their followers in order to make money. It is not possible to know if everyone they influence would benefit from the product, nor is it possible to know their financial situation or any specific circumstances. In this case, the influencer is putting their own interests first. Manipulation does not necessarily include an attempt to harm others. However, it must, to some degree, place one’s own goals and interests first. This is part of the puzzle. Additionally, it is safest and most logical to refer to influence as a parent term of manipulation; one which includes manipulation and other methods of influence, such as inspiration and emulation. Manipulation Vs Persuasion These terms might seem diametrically opposed, with persuasion acting as the “honest” form of manipulation, where the actor is up front about their goals and opinions. However, for the purposes of this book, it will be more useful to consider persuasion as a tier below manipulation. Persuasion, then, becomes a method of manipulation, which is a form of influence. Persuasion also happens to be one of the less effective methods of manipulation. How often have you been in a debate with someone else, only for them to hold up their hands and say “I concede, you are absolutely right”? It is probably possible for you to count these instances on one hand. It may be easy to persuade someone that smoking is unhealthy but is it easy to persuade them to quit? If it were so, governments wouldn’t see the need or benefit in placing heavy taxes on tobacco products in order to discourage use. According to this book’s definition, the government is trying to manipulate the consumption of tobacco and using a range of methods, including persuasion, to achieve that end. So what about other forms of influence? And other methods of manipulation? Well, manipulation needs to have intent and it ought to have some form of goal – even if that goal is just to create anarchy. A great filmmaker may influence the work of many others but it is clearly distinct from manipulation. The filmmaker doesn’t set out to influence others (although they may), rather they achieve influence through the reaction of others to their work, resulting in inspiration and even emulation. Persuasion, likewise, is not the only method of manipulation one could employ. An easy alternative is lying, a form of deception. To lie and to be believed will inevitably change the perception of those who believe the lie. As has already been established, it is still manipulation whether it is successful or not. Persuasion, like influence, doesn’t suffer from quite the same image problem as manipulation. In fact it’s seen as a positive thing to be able to make a “persuasive argument.” Although it does have a sinister tinge; the phrase “I can be very persuasive” implies some exertion of power over another party – possibly even an abuse. Also, when employers refer to the soft skill of “persuasion,” it is correct to understand this as a euphemism for manipulation. At least in part. Defining Manipulation Concluding this chapter, it is now possible to create a suitable and helpful definition of manipulation for the purposes of this book. Manipulation is a form of intentional influence, characterized as an attempt, by a person or party (the manipulator), to change the behavior of another person or party (the target), typically with a view to achieving a goal in the manipulator’s interests. There is no nefarious implication, nor is it specified whether or not the manipulator is acting in, against, or with no regard for the interests of the target. All are possible. This achieves a definition of manipulation which is not constrained by subjective ethical ideas. Although that doesn’t mean you should abandon your morals as well! This definition is useful because it is objective and clear. Also, it is helpful because, in this book, you will learn techniques for manipulation that will help you to achieve your goals. In that respect, it would be a mistake to exclude persuasion, which absolutely can play an important role in manipulation and is inextricable from the advice in this book. Two problems remain, however. The first relates to “intended influence.” Intent is difficult because it implies responsibility. In actual fact, everyone manipulates everyone around them all the time, even from a young age. It would be wrong to exclude a child’s temper tantrum from the umbrella of manipulation, just because they aren’t old enough to rationalize their behavior. The same applies to adult temper tantrums, for that matter. Intent, therefore, does not imply conscious behavior – it can also be instinctive. This also allows for the, very real, presence of “naturally manipulative” persons. The second problem is the disappointingly vague ending: “typically to achieve a goal in the manipulator’s interests.” Not only is it problematic to define “the manipulator’s interests,” there is a catch-all ambiguity in the inclusion of “typically.” This part serves only to create a normalized idea of manipulation for the purposes of this book and absolutely wouldn’t suit a more general definition. After all, how can someone perfectly know their own interests? It is of course possible to successfully manipulate someone, and for the result to still be one’s own demise. The latter problem is addressed during the course of the book, at points where it happens to be relevant. Despite its flaws, this definition of manipulation is sufficient for the practical parts of the book.