DOCUMENT RESUME ED 438 497 CG 029 788 AUTHOR Trail, Dena G., Ed. TITLE How To Get through the First 21 Years: A Parent Resource Guide. Third Edition. INSTITUTION Montgomery County Community Partnership, Rockville, MD. PUB DATE 2000-01-00 NOTE 42p. PUB TYPE Guides Non-Classroom (055) -- Reference Materials Directories /Catalogs (132) EDRS PRICE MF01/PCO2 Plus Postage. DESCRIPTORS Alcohol Education; *Child Rearing; Drug Education; Elementary Secondary Education; *Health Education; Parent Child Relationship; Parent Education; *Parent Materials; Parent Participation; *Resource Materials; *Substance Abuse IDENTIFIERS *Maryland (Montgomery County) ABSTRACT A comprehensive guide to parenting resources in Montgomery County (Maryland), this publication is divided into four chapters. "Getting More Involved with Your Child" focuses on communication, inexpensive ways to have fun, parent involvement techniques, and suggested party tips with information about the legal consequences of serving alcohol to minors. "Raising a Drug-Free Child" discusses how to teach your child skills for resisting drugs and alcohol, including how to use your "parent power" and "teachable moments." "How to Get Your Child the Help He or She Needs" tells how to recognize signs of drug use and what to do if your child is high, stoned, or drunk. Treatment programs and other assistance are identified. The final chapter, "Where To Find the Help You Need," contains specific referrals for crisis situations, health matters, and other services for families. Each chapter offers advice on child rearing followed immediately by a listing of related community resources from YMCA'classes to local events and local parent newsletters. (GCP) Reproductions supplied by EDRS are the best that can be made from the original document. How to Get Through the First 21 Years 3rd Edition "PERMISSION TO REPRODUCE THIS U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION .Office of Educational Research and Improvement MATERIAL HAS BEEN GRANTED BY . EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES INFORMATION CENTER IERIC) O This document has been reproduced as received from the person or organization originating it. O Minor changes have been made to improve reproduction quality. o Points of view or opinions stated in this docu- TO THE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES ment do not necessarily represent official INFORMATION CENTER (ERIC)." OERI position or policy. In JEST COPY AVAILABLE 2 A Project of the Montgomery Count Community Partners PLEASE NOTE: The Montgomery County Community Partnership does not endorse the services in this. Parent Resource Guide, nor assume legal responsibility resulting' from use of these .services. This Parent Resource Guide is not intended to refleCt all available resources to parents in. Montgomery County, but is designed` to serve as a handy resource for parents, youth, and families: Agencies listed provide services on a sliding scale and/or for free: Please check with individual:agencies before obtaining services. Your comments about the usefulness of the Parent Resource Guide are welcome. 4 The Parent Resource Guide from MQn.tgpmety..0 unty e Community Partnetship ee. We are a coalition of public and private organizations and individuals who seek to reduce the problerris related to alcohol-, tobacco, and other drug abuse. The Partnership's Prevention Center provides preventim information and referral. The Prevention Center has over 700 videotapes, over 600 books, and many brochures, pamphlets, and posters. Most services are. free. Join us! Call or write: Montgomery County Community Partnership 4915 Aspen Hill Road, Rm. #7 Rockville, Maryland 20853 Phone: 301-929-8550 Douglas B. Tipperman, LCSW Executive Director 3rd Edition January, 2000 Edited by Dena G. Trail, M.A.Ed., c.p.s. BEST COPY AVAILABLE Contents Page I I . S Families, Kids, and Communication 3 Resources: hin 5 Parent Involvement Techniques 7 Resources: Parenting Classes for Strengthening Families 10 Suggested Party Tips / .Legal Conseqtiences. 12 Resources: Student Assistance Program 14 i I . II 0 II Teaching Skills for Resisting Drugs and Alcohol 15 Resources: Prevention of Use/Abuse of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs 16 Parent Power: Using Teachable Moments 17 Resources: Children's Clubs and Organizations 18 Ten Ways to 'Help Your Child Say No 18. , Signs of Drug Use 19 When a Kid is High, Stoned, or Drunk 20 Resources: Helplines for Parents (not 24-hour) 21 'Treatment Programs 'Available 22 Getting Assistance 22 Resources: Counseling, Therapy, and Treatment Services 23 Chapter IV: Where To Find the Help You Need 27 As a parent: Child Care 27 Tutoring and Mentoring Programs 27 Resource Centers, Service Centers, and Libraries 28 Single, and Divorcing Parents. 28 Women's and Mothers' Services 29 Men's and Fathers Services 29 Self-Help and Support Groups 30 . Services for Families: Living With a Person Who Has a Disability 32 Services, in Languages Other Than English 33 In Crisis Situations: Hotlines and Helplines / Crisis Counseling 34 , Abused Persons, Children, and Spouses' 34 BereaVerrient, Death, and Dying 35 With Health MattOrs: Health Services 36 Housing and Shelter 37 Published by the Montgomery County Community Partnership January, 2000 ' 3rd Edition. Permission to copy granted C apter Rg Cie:tun More Involved With Your Child II There is no "normal" family. All parents make "mistakes" or do or say the "wrong thing." This is especially true when periods of stress, crisis, or transitions from one stage (such as childhood to adolescence) to another occur'. Families then need tastrive to find new ways of coping, new rules, and new relationships with each other. Characteristics which are important in coping are: Ready capability to adapt to new different or Flexibility: changing requirements Values: Values about life, rights of others, personal responsibility, loving, and caring are communicated consistently by parents and other concerned adults. uthority: Children can predict what will happen in their lives parents establish reasonable expectations and guidelines for their children and reasonable ways of exerting authority: Communic Lion: Effective comrriunication is marked by careful and open listening, an ability to accept reasonable feelings of one another, respect for confidentiality, fairness, an ability to disagree and seek alternative solutions, and an ability to disclose personal feelings. Caring: Caring is often affectionate, warm and empathic (i.e. hugs and expressions of love). Caring can also be tough, strong and demanding (i.e., rules, expectations, punishment, and consequences), When families are unable to find successful ways to work out problems, communication in" the family breaks down; issues of trust become para- mount and family rules for conduct and behavior become stretched and 7 tested. For many adolescents, the family and parents become a threat to their struggle for independence and autonomy. Reasonable efforts to establish rules become overturned by a game of one-upmanship" between parents and children. Sides are drawn, frustration escalates. Experimentation with alcohol and other drugs may be used by the adolescent as an act of defiance. This experimentation may include exhibiting other unhealthy behaviors out of frustration. Over-eating, sexual activity, and unsafe driving practices are all examples of behaviors that are detrimental to your child's well-being. They may also be used by parents as a way of coping. Where do kids get drugs or alcohol? From your own liquor cabinet; from . old prescriptions left in your medicine cabinet; from older peers, brothers, sisters, dealers or parents. They may also purchase over the counter drugs such as diet pills,'cough medicine and other drugs. What happens to the farnil char cteristics? Flexibility: is replaced by rigidity. Values: Values of parents and values of children become a battlefield. In an effort to assert autonomy and independence,, children may take extreme measures. Authority: Authority no longer holds. Parents lose reasonable controls. The.assUmption of control by kids becomes marked by manipulation. Patterns of predictability fall apart. Each event becomes a source of tension. Communication: Communication becomes increasingly negative. Frustration and anger escalate. Trust becomes replaced by accusation.. In an effort to survive, parents and children isolate themselves from each other. The ability to disclose personal feelings becomes too difficult to risk. Fear of being "hurt" becomes the guiding rule. Caring: When frustration and anger lead to the point of "not caring", effective solutibns to problems between parents and children are elusivefreqUently, solutions cannot be found. Being. a parent is one Of the most important jobs anyone can have. However, it is also one of the only jobs you are expected to do without any training or preparation. Schools don't provide "parenting Classes" or B.A.'s in Parenting. Help is available if you find-yourself in a situation that is unfamiliar.' Preparing yourself for some of these natural changes can help you avoid probleins later. Realize that, transitions Will occur and keep in mind ydur Own feelings as an adolescent. Remember that, as a parent, you are the role .model for healthy behavior patterns. Your advice and interactions are reinforced by the behavior you exhibit for your child. With open communication, understanding and a lot of patience, you too can survive being a parent. 8 4 urces es Adventuie Theater, Glen Echo Park 301- 320 -5331. Year-round theatrical children's productions, at Glen Echo Park and in schools. ecreation Department Aquatics Program, Montgomery Co nty 240-777-6860 Three indoor pools and four outdoor pools in the county. rookside Gardens 301-962-.1401 Large greenhouse and extensive gardens. Open all year. Brookside Nature Center 301-946-9071 Nature programs for all ages, including live animal displays and nature trails. Department of Recreation Teen Line 240-777-5399 Information about Under 21 activities and events for middle school and high school students throughout Montgomery CountY. Glen Echo Park 301 -492 -6282 Offers art classes; a carousel, dances and dance lessons, play and other events for children. McCrillis Gardens and Gallery 301-365-1657 Five-acre garden with 750 varieties of azaleas, 300 varieties of rhododendrons, and an 'art gallery. Montgomery County Department of Recreation Community Centers These centers offer activities for children, teens, and adults. Bauer Drive Community Center, Rockville 301-468-4015 Clara Barton Community Center, Cabin John 301-229-0011 Good Hope Community. Center, Silver Spring 301-989-1210 Leland Community Center, Chevy Chase 301-652-2249 Longwood Community Center, Brookeville 301-570-1200 Plum Gar Community Center, Germantown 301-601-0966 Potomac Community Center, Potomac 301-983-4471 Rosemary Hills Community Center, Silver Spring 301-565-7308 Ross J. Boddy Community Center,' Sandy Spring 3017570-1204 Scotland Community Center, Potomac 301 -983-4455 Upcounty Community Center, Gaithersburg 301-840-2469' Montgomery-County Youth Orchestras Association 301-654-2018 Three youth orchestras schedule. a concert season. For students in fourth through twelfth grades. National Capital Trolley Museum 301-384-6088 Collection of antique trolleys, trams, and streetcars. Oil ey Theater 301-924-3400 Many plays are offered that are appropriate for families; staff will give information about age range suggested for each play. Acorn Family Project and up. offers performances geared to ages epartffnent of Recreation and Parks Rockville City 301-309-3340 Provides a swim center (309-3040), a golf course, a sports and athletic Program, a teen club, day care program, performing arts, summer day carrips and playground programs, and a variety of classes for adults, teens, and children. Open to-residents of the City of Rockville and county residents. Round House Theatre 301-933-9530 Plays fOr adults and children. Trains children, teens, and adults in performing arts. Traveling educational productions for children deal with issues such as prejudice and alcohol and drug use prevention and are performed in schools. E d Visual Arts, Jewish Community Center School for the Performing a o 301-881-0100 Dance, theater, music, and art classes for children and adolescents. Strathmore Hall Arts Center 301-530-0540,, Art shows, special events, concert series, and a resource guide to the arts in Montgomery County.' Things 2 Do Website address: http://www.things2do.org YMCAs of Montgomeiy. COunty Classes for all ages including: sports and summer camp. Bethesda-Chevy Chase YMCA: 301-530-3725 301-585-2120 Silver Spring YMCA: Upper Montgomery County.YMCA: 301-948-9622 BEST COPY AVAILABLE 0