D E F E ”To dine on these sides is such a heavenly way to dine ” N . S —Wes Allison, co-author of The Taco Cleanse IV E Poor Morrissey He’s just so so hungry And meat is E . ... ... . A murder so that narrows his options by a lot Until now at , . , T I least! With the arrival of the Defensive Eating with Morrissey N cookbook our dear Moz no longer needs to suffer such G , W terrible hunger, such ruthless indecision, or the emotional IT H impact of a major blood sugar crash at the worst possible M moment. These 50+ vegan recipes—each paired with an O R evocative illustration—make enough unbelievably delicious, R poetic food for him to eat his fill and have plenty left over I S for later Sweetness he’s even saved enough for you S . , . E Y $14.95 U.S. / $20.50 CANADA &A JOUTO SHM UN AE P Z LOIN EGGG AUTOMNE ZINGG RECIPES BY JOSHUA PLOEG DEFENSIVE EATING WITH MORRISSEY Vegan Recipes from the One You Left Behind DEFENSIVE EATING WITH MORRISSEY VEGAN RECIPES FROM THE ONE YOU LEFT BEHIND Illustrations are © Automne Zingg, 2012, 2016 Recipes are © Joshua Ploeg, 2016 This edition is © Microcosm Publishing, 2016 Cover design by Meggyn Pomerleau Book design by Joe Biel First Printing, October 11, 2016 For a catalog, write: Microcosm Publishing 2752 N. Williams Ave Portland, OR 97227 or visit MicrocosmPublishing.com ISBN 978-1-62106-203-5 This is Microcosm #255 This is a very serious work of parody. We do not claim to own the work of Morrissey (though we do love him). Distributed worldwide by Legato / Perseus and in the UK by Turnaround This book was printed on post-consumer paper Global labor conditions are bad, and our roots in industrial Cleveland in the 70s and 80s made us appreciate the need to treat workers right. Therefore, our books are MADE IN THE USA Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Zingg, Automne. | Ploeg, Joshua. Title: Defensive Eating with Morrissey : Vegan Recipes from the One You Left Behind / Automne Zingg ; recipes by Joshua Ploeg. Description: Portland, OR : Microcosm Publishing, 2016. Identifiers: LCCN 2016000081 | ISBN 9781621062035 (trade) Subjects: LCSH: Vegan cooking--Recipes. | LCGFT: Cookbooks. Classification: LCC TX837 .Z5534 2016 | DDC 641.5/636--dc23 LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2016000081 DEFENSIVE EATING WITH MORRISSEY Vegan Recipes from the One You Left Behind Automne Zingg Recipes by Joshua Ploeg Microcosm Publishing Portland, OR FRIDGE Boy with the Corn in His Side, 8 Peas Let Me Get What I Want, 10 Asparagus, 12 Beans, 14 Morrissey Ate All the Cucumbers, 18 Morrissey Ate All the Kale, 20 Mango Chile Ice Cream, 24 Morrissey Ate All the Porridge, 26 Baked Potato, 30 Bananas, 34 Honey, 36 Birthday Cake, 40 Chocolate, 44 Cookie, 46 Morrissey’s Handsome Devil Food Cake, 48 Disco Fries, 52 Lasagna, 56 Mushroom Burger, 60 Rosemary Drink, 62 Eggplant Sandwich, 64 Bread, 66 CONTENTS Alfcats, 68 The Internet, 72 Shoplifted Veggies, 76 Hats, 78 Morrissey Ate Your Last Dollar, 80 Paula Deen, 82 Morrissey Ate All the Cereal, 86 Morrissey Ate All of Your Dreams(icles), 88 Tapas, 90 Vegan Bologna, 94 Tears, 96 Morrissey Ate All of Your Thyme, 98 I Can Have Both, 100 Morrissey Ate All the Flowers, 102 Morrissey Ate All the Leftovers, 104 PacMan Cake, 106 Refrigerator, 110 Morrissey Ate the Last Star in the Galaxy, 112 You’ve Got Everything, 116 Guy Fieri, 118 Clouds, 122 So Sweet and Tender, 124 Introduction In 2013, I was broke, living in Los Angeles, and going through a terrible breakup. It was probably one of the darkest times in my life and I felt inconsolable. I wasn’t working. I wasn’t eating. I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing much of anything except writing depressing songs and listening to even more depressing ones from my youth. I found it curious that the bands that got me through the general malaise of being a sad teenage goth served as a type of sonic comfort food for me as an even sadder adult. Was I having a mid-life crisis? The only thing that brought me comfort during that nightmare was drawing. I started to doodle images of Nick Cave crying over pints of ice cream, Siouxsie Sioux devouring tacos, and The Sisters Of Mercy stuffing their faces with Cinnabons. The more time passed, the more surreal these drawings became. Eventually, I started sharing them with others and everyone wanted to see Morrissey putting things in his mouth. Who wouldn’t? I obliged and started doing a series of drawings of Morrissey hoarding food. Those drawings became a zine, and that zine is now a cookbook. Inspired by my illustrations, and playing on Morrissey’s lyrics, Morrissey’s influences, and some of the more absurd elements of pop culture, Joshua Ploeg has 8 defensive eating with morrissey VEGAN RECIPES from the one you left behind created some incredibly unique vegan recipes for anybody that believes meat is murder. Defensive Eating with Morrissey: Vegan Recipes from the One You Left Behind is intended for Morrissey lovers, haters, and anyone who appreciates veganism, Marcel Proust and Oscar Wilde as much as they enjoy Garfield, Judge Judy, and a good “deez nuts” joke. Nom Nom Nom. xoxo Automne Zingg 9