Raves for the Alien novels: “If you like your futuristic adventure with heapings of over-the-top fun and absurdity, Koch has the series for you. . . . A rip-roaring and outlandish romp!” —RT Book Reviews “Aliens, danger, and romance make this a fast-paced, wittily-written sf romantic comedy.” —Library Journal “Koch still pulls the neat trick of quietly weaving in plot threads that go unrecognized until they start tying together—or snapping. This is a hyperspeed- paced addition to a series that shows no signs of slowing down.” —Publishers Weekly “This delightful romp has many interesting twists and turns as it glances at racism, politics, and religion en route . . . will have fanciers of cinematic sf parodies referencing Men in Black, Ghost Busters, and X-Men.” —Booklist (Starred Review) “Gini Koch has another winner, plenty of action combined with just the right touch of humor and a kick-ass storyline. What’s not to like?” —Fresh Fiction “Gini Koch mixes up the sometimes staid niche of science fiction romance by adding nonstop humor, blockbuster action, and moments worthy of a soap opera.” —Dirty Sexy Books Yi DAW Books Presents GINI KOCH’s Alien Novels: TOUCHED BY AN ALIEN ALIEN TANGO ALIEN IN THE FAMILY ALIEN PROLIFERATION ALIEN DIPLOMACY ALIEN VS. ALIEN ALIEN IN THE HOUSE (coming in May 2013) Yi ALIEN VS. ALIEN GINI KOCH Yi Copyright © 2012 by Jeanne Cook. All Rights Reserved. Cover art by Daniel Dos Santos. Cover design by G-Force Design. DAW Book Collectors No. 1609. DAW Books are distributed by Penguin Group (USA) Inc. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is strictly coincidental. The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal, and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. Nearly all the designs and trade names in this book are registered trademarks. All that are still in commercial use are protected by United States and international trademark law. DAW TRADEMARK REGISTERED U.S. PAT. AND TM. OFF. AND FOREIGN COUNTRIES —MARCA REGISTRADA HECHO EN U.S.A. Yi To all the accidental badasses out there who, like Kitty, don’t let what’s proper stand in the way of doing what’s right. Yi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS As always, many thanks to my amazing editor, Sheila Gilbert, and all the other good folks at DAW Books. Same again to my awesome agent, Cherry Weiner. And once more with feeling for my great crit partner, Lisa Dovichi, and my super main beta reader, Mary Fiore. You’re all fabulous and each one of you makes my writing better every time. Love and thanks to all my fans around the globe, particularly those on Hook Me Up!, those who are part of Team Gini, every Alien Collective Member in Very Good Standing, my Twitter followers, and Facebook fans and friends. You’re the best fans in the world and I love you all. Special shout outs to: Colette Chmiel for sacrificing hours of her time toward saving my sanity and becoming my distance assistant; Nicole Snyder for fast action and a calming take-charge manner when the pirates were literally at the gate; Sally Janin for going above and beyond to help me out, even during difficult times; Robert Palsma for always liking everything I do; Adrian and Lisa Payne for no fenvt only always showing up with books in hand and smiling faces, but also for your eleventh hour fill in during Phoenix Comicon; Chris “Delicious” Swanson and Raul Padron for cheerful support, schlepping, baggage handling, and more, anywhere and everywhere; Kay Moran and Helen King for constant cheerleading, particularly when deadlines loomed; Julie Jones and Marnie Walski for making me grin every day; author Marsheila Rockwell for being there at midnight any time I needed to bounce an idea off another creative night owl; Jan Robinson, Joanne Marie di Biasi, Koren Cota, and Mariann Asanuma for making beautiful and delicious things just for me (sometimes live and on the scene!) and bestowing them upon me at every con; Carien Ubink and Shawn Sumrall for sending fun and yummy surprises that never fail to arrive on just the day I need a smile; and all the wonderful fans who come to my various book signings and make them into such memorable, cherished events, and same again to the wonderful bookstores that host said signings. My husband, Steve, and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary while edits for this book were going on. Honey, thanks for not only your support in my writing career, but for a quarter of a century of a marriage that’s easily as good as Kitty and Jeff’s—for which the majority of the credit absolutely goes to you. And to our daughter, Veronica, who’s as special and super as Jamie Martini, thanks for being both a chip off the old block and your own distinct person. Not sure how you managed it, but well done. And thanks to both of you for being a part of this writing journey—it’s always better when the people you love are along with you for the ride. Yi Contents TITLE PAGE COPYRIGHT DEDICATION ACKNOWLEDGMENTS PROLOGUE CHAPTER 1 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 3 CHAPTER 4 CHAPTER 5 CHAPTER 6 CHAPTER 7 CHAPTER 8 CHAPTER 9 CHAPTER 10 CHAPTER 11 CHAPTER 12 CHAPTER 13 CHAPTER 14 CHAPTER 15 CHAPTER 16 CHAPTER 17 CHAPTER 18 CHAPTER 19 CHAPTER 20 CHAPTER 21 CHAPTER 22 CHAPTER 23 CHAPTER 24 CHAPTER 25 CHAPTER 26 CHAPTER 27 CHAPTER 28 CHAPTER 29 CHAPTER 30 CHAPTER 31 CHAPTER 32 CHAPTER 33 CHAPTER 34 CHAPTER 35 CHAPTER 36 CHAPTER 37 CHAPTER 38 CHAPTER 39 CHAPTER 40 CHAPTER 41 CHAPTER 42 CHAPTER 43 CHAPTER 44 CHAPTER 45 CHAPTER 46 CHAPTER 47 CHAPTER 48 CHAPTER 49 CHAPTER 50 CHAPTER 51 CHAPTER 52 CHAPTER 53 CHAPTER 54 CHAPTER 55 CHAPTER 56 CHAPTER 57